babble » blogs » Strollerderby
Strollerderby
Choosing To Have “Mom Hair”
One night, at about 2:30 a.m., I had to make a choice: my hair, or my baby.
I had great hair. Thick, wavy hair. The kind of stuff that stars in fairy tales. It fell down to my hips. It was the first thing people noticed about me, my pride and joy.
It was also a rope in the hands of a cheerful 8-month-old who’d just learned to climb. I found this behavior cute at first. Everything your first child does is cute the first time she does it. Spit-up is cute, at first. So is hair-pulling.
The cuteness wore off, though. Nothing is cute at 2:30 a.m.
She’d been climbing my hair like a miniature Rapunzel for hours. Finally, I lost it. I yelled, “Don’t pull my hair!”
That’s right, I yelled at an 8 month old baby. My husband startled awake and blearily said, “Sierra, you can’t yell at the baby. She’s little.”
He was right. Not only was the baby little, she was the most precious thing in my world. Much more precious than my hair. Truth be told, I’d been neglecting the hair in favor of the baby for awhile. My once flowing locks had turned into a snarly mess more days than not. Even when I brushed it out neatly, I kept it braided or up in a bun. I rarely got to show off my fairy-tale tresses anymore.
So I made a decision.
“You’re right,” I said. “The baby is more important than my hair. Will you hold her a minute?”
He took our daughter and I went to find a pair of scissors. In the bathroom I pulled all that long hair back into a ponytail, which I then hacked off at the nape of my neck. No more Rapunzel. No more problem.
My baby was a little confused for a minute, but we had peace about my hair forever after.
When I went to see a hairdresser to fix the mess I’d made, she shaped it up into a bob for me, spiky at the back, a little longer in front.
“You decided to go for the mom cut,” she said knowingly. Apparently this is a thing, cutting off your long hair for your baby.
Did you cut your hair when you had kids? Was it a tough decision or an obvious one? Or did you fight the pressure to get the mom cut and keep your locks long?
Read 6 more real parents’ stories of choosing between their kids and …
Photo: Sierra Black
Go Back To Strollerderby
18 Comments
Amy commented on Feb 15 11 at 6:42 pmI cut my hair off with my first child, and let my hair grow with my second. I think with my first child, everything was more stressful and difficult (Is she getting enough to eat? Are we doing this parenting thing right?), and taking care of my hair was one worry I could do without. The second time around, I am much more relaxed and don’t let things worry or bother me as much. Much happier now (and I look better with long hair)!
Kikiriki commented on Feb 15 11 at 6:55 pmI have always had medium-long to really long hair, except for a couple of horrible experiments with a short cut (I look really, really terrible with short hair). I just pull it back in a ponytail. In fact, I think ponytail is the easiest “mom” hair around, unless you’re lucky enough to have the kind of hair you can just wash and wear when it’s short. Most of the people I know with short hair spend at least some time fussing with it to make it look nice. I just brush it, ponytail it, and go. 10 seconds, tops. No blowdrying, no messing around with gel or mousse. I don’t wash it more than 3 times a week. And every time I go to get it trimmed (like once a year), the hairdresser is always astounded at my lack of split ends. It’s the ponytail!
Larissa commented on Feb 15 11 at 7:17 pmI did this between kid 1 and kid 2. #1 was 15 months when I got pregnant again and there are pictures of us with me having short hair. I was so bleary and sleep deprived at the time I honestly have no recollection of the decision to cut it. Short hair is usually more work for me b/c my hair is really curly but it must have seemed like a good idea at the time. These days, I keep it long (no one is climbing on it) so that I can do a ponytail if I need mom hair.
goddess commented on Feb 15 11 at 8:51 pmNope. 4 kids and always had long hair. Never stopped wearing my gold chain, nor my largish gold hoop earrings either. :-)
Thekla Richter commented on Feb 15 11 at 9:11 pmNope. I totally would but I think my hair would look terrible short… doesn’t work with either my hair type or face. I do wear it in a never-ending series of buns and pony-tails, but it’s still fun to take it down once in a great while when I go out with my husband or to dance at a drum circle.
Maggie commented on Feb 15 11 at 9:35 pmCut my hair, which had been waist-length until then. Gave up necklaces. Gave up dangly earrings, then even gave up posts. The kid was more than 3 years old before I remembered how much I loved jewelry. But in another year I was pregnant with kid #2.
LogicalMama commented on Feb 15 11 at 10:22 pmDidn’t cut my hair, but my sister cut hers between two kids and started calling herself Uncle Patti!
Kali commented on Feb 15 11 at 10:24 pmI did. It wasn’t nearly as long as others, mine was only shoulder length after years of yo-yoing back and forth between my ears and my elbows.
all it took for me to hack it into a “boys” cut (according to my mom) was the first night a piece of hair fell out of my bun and hit the sleeping baby in the face waking him up after HOURS of trying to get the then 1 mos old colic baby to sleep. Next morning when my neighbors got up baby went across the street and mommy went to get her hair hacked.
Paula/adhocmom commented on Feb 16 11 at 8:10 amI cut my hair off too, but no way was a settling for a “mom cut.” I wanted to be just as happy with my long hair, which was a ton of work as I was with my short hair. Now that my daughter is three, and life is getting easier, I’m growing it out again, and the blow dryer has even seen the light of day!
Amanda commented on Feb 16 11 at 1:27 pmMy hair is right below my shoulders, and I have no intention of cutting it. My 7 month old grabs it sometimes, but like a previous poster mentioned, I can always put it in a ponytail if it gets annoying. My hair isn’t very thick, though, so it only takes a few minutes to dry it.
Katy commented on Feb 18 11 at 9:30 amI never believed you need to have “the haircut” once you have kids. I have 4 (3 are only 16mo old!) & this is the longest its been. I think you have more flexibility with long hair. Up or down it looks good. I also wear my jewelry too! Not giving that up!
Gina commented on Feb 18 11 at 1:21 pmI cut mine after my first two, but my short cuts were always so much maintenance. My fourth baby is in a brutal and sadistic hair-pulling phase right now, so I toy with the idea of getting a Louise Brooks bob from time to time, but I know there’s no way I’d be able to get to a salon regularly for trims. I can’t even go to the bathroom alone. How would I ever manage a haircut?
kat commented on Feb 18 11 at 8:01 pmNot after #1, but after #2 I had to!! No time to take care of my long princess locks, which were starting to turn into dreadlocks in the back. It was always in a ponytail anyway, so now it’s just a shorter, easier to manage pony tail. I love it!
Terra commented on Feb 18 11 at 11:59 pmMaybe I was just lucky, but I don’t remember my daughter pulling my hair when she was a baby. And I always wore it down. In fact, sometime around 6 or 7 months of age, she started gently twirling and playing with my hair as she nursed – I loved it! To this day, whenever I snuggle with her, rock her to sleep or read her stories, she gently plays with my hair. Her little hand immediately reaches up for my hair and my heart melts. I will never ever cut my hair!
meghan commented on Feb 21 11 at 2:30 pmI did. When my first was born I had dreadlocks almost to my waist. I had spent so much money, time, and effort getting them the way I wanted and then I had a baby. I had to keep them pulled up on my head to keep from hitting her with them ( which can actually hurt if I turned to fast, etc) and thus from keeping them up all the time, I kept getting headaches. I finally had to decide to cut them around the 4month mark. My hair had to be cut so short I actually got mid-lenght extentions to keep from looking too much like a new mom. Maybe after baby #2 is bigger I can get them again. For now- a bob seems to work for me!
Judge commented on Jun 11 11 at 6:03 pmYell at a baby and then go hack your hair off, sounds kinda histrionic.
mindy commented on Jul 27 11 at 1:13 amI cut my hair, not because I didn’t have time to take better care of it (the ponytail look worked for me lol), I cut it off because I suffered from extreme postpartum hair loss. I lost a lot of my hair at my temples all the way around my head. My hair was waist length and I hated to do it but I looked as tho I was balding. Its been about six months or so of short hair (angled bob), and i think I am ready to grow it out again since my hair grew back and blends in with my now short hair <3
Rachel commented on Aug 15 11 at 3:52 amI grew mine out! I didn’t think my pixie would look cool with a big pregnant belly so I went to a classic ’20s flapper bob. I totally love it — it’s fun, feminine, and stays totally out of the way.
Add your take:
Note: Babble is a supportive, diverse community. We encourage a range of opinions,
but any unduly hostile comments will be removed.
Comments are delayed up to 15 minutes
Lori Garcia 
Joslyn Gray 
Amber Doty 
Julianna Miner 
Monica Bielanko 
Sierra Black 
Meredith Carroll 
Carolyn Castiglia 
Sunny Chanel 
Madeline Holler 
Rebecca Odes 
Danielle Smith 
Danielle Sullivan 
Katherine Stone 
The Walt Disney Company supports Babble as a platform dedicated to honest, engaged, informed, intelligent and open conversation about parenting. However, the opinions expressed on this site are those of individual parents/writers and do not reflect the views of Disney. In addition, content provided on this site is for entertainment or informational purposes only and should not be construed as medical advice, diagnosis, treatment, or safety advice.
18