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Lady Gaga’s New Song Can’t Potty Train Toddlers But Her Older Stuff Can
Lady Gaga's the real deal.
I’m into Lady Gaga. And I take a lot of heat for it. But I really don’t care. Overexposed though she may be, she still comes off fresh and provocative. Uniquely unaffected. The real deal in an industry laden with posers. Regardless of whether or not you share my high opinion of Lady Gaga, one thing’s for sure. She’s got a new song out — “Born This Way.” And I’m sure that everyone will go, well, gaga over it. She seems to have the golden touch.
Yet despite that golden touch and despite the fact that I’m a big fan, “Born This Way” will never touch my personal Lady Gaga favorite. For it truly helped me potty train the triplets.
See, I went through this phase when I used to sing whatever it was I was doing to my toddlers. Truth be told, I still do it, but not as often because it’s usually greeted with a chorus of “NO”s. But before they grew weary of it, they took great delight in me signing songs to them. One night when Caroline was away, I was preparing dinner for my little guys and my spontaneous show began inadvertently as I handed them their sippy cups of milk while singing made up words to the Kiss anthem, “Lick It Up.”
Sippy cup. Sippy cup.
Whoa-ohhhh-ohhh.
The lid’s on tight, now.
Sippy cup. Sippy cup.
Whoa-ohhh-ohhh.
Oooh yeah. Oooh yeah.
Sadly, I was nowhere near done. As I took their dinner out of the toaster oven, I noticed that it was very hot. Almost too hot to serve. So I thought I’d give them a friendly warning via Billy Idol’s “Hot in the City.”
Hot dinny-dinny.
Hot dinny-dinny tonight.
Hot dinny-dinny.
Hot dinny-dinny, s’alright.
Once dinner was behind us, I got the triplets out of their highchairs and instructed them to take a turn on the potty, but Jack refused to go (could he have been holding out for another song?). That’s when I turned to Lady Gaga herself, encouraging my child to get on with his bathroom duties via an altered version of “Paparazzi.”
Listen to your dad.
It’s time for you to use the potty.
I’m the
Potty Nazi.
It worked like a charm and the standoff was avoided. In fact, I sang that version of the song to each of my little ones from that point on, and they all delighted in it. And I’m not saying that Lady Gaga was responsible for getting all three of the triplets potty trained by age 2-1/2. But I am saying this. Try as she may, Lady Gaga will never write another song that means as much to me as “Paparazzi” simply because I turned it into a silly little potty training jingle.
OH. It should be noted that as Jack sat atop the potty that night tending to his business, he began dousing the bathroom floor. George Benson’s 80s classic “Turn Your Love Around” immediately popped into my mind.
Point your pee-pee down.
I can show you how.
Point your pee-pee down.
Gotta do it now.
So Lady Gaga’s got a little competition when it comes to the potty training department.
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[...] here: Lady Gaga's New Song Can't Potty Train Toddlers But Her Older … Tags: industry-laden, real-deal, really-don, uniquely-unaffected Category: Gossip You can [...]
Lady Gaga's New Song Can't Potty Train Toddlers But Her Older … @ Lady GAGA Gossip commented on Feb 11 11 at 12:37 pm[...] 9. Daddy sings: I have a little issue about singing in that I’m constantly belting out pop tunes with words I alter on the spot. Annoying? Maybe. But I practically potty trained your siblings that way. You know Lady Gaga’s song Paparazzi? I sing it like this: Listen to your dad, it’s time for you to use the potty. I’m the Potty Nazi. [...]
10 Things This Baby Should Know About His Family | Being Pregnant commented on Mar 08 11 at 1:21 pmMaria commented on Feb 11 11 at 11:53 amI think it’s awesome that someone else does this too! I sing all day to my kids, but my songs don’t usually turn out as well as yours. :) Thankfully, my kids haven’t yet told me to stop, because what they don’t know is that I will be doing this FOREVER.
Amy commented on Feb 11 11 at 1:14 pmMy kids are double-screwed, because both my husband and I do this and likely will continue to do this forever, too. He’s much more creative in the way of song choice than me — I usually resort to the A-team theme — but my lyrical choices are far superior. Thanks for making me smile today!
Lindsay Q. commented on Feb 11 11 at 1:38 pmThat’s hilarious, I’ve used “Paparazzi” as a song for my daughter, too! However, we didn’t use it for potty training. I used it for changing diapers, for playing with toys, eating puffs, etc…I don’t remember the words I used, but it’s a great song to make up words to!
e commented on Feb 11 11 at 2:56 pmOh man, we do this all the time. My personal favorite was when he was an infant and he pooped while I was bathing him- “Poop In the Water” (sung to the tune of Smoke on the Water) is now a family favorite, although the words have been changed to emphasize that we DON’T poop in the water.
Mistress_Scorpio commented on Feb 11 11 at 3:04 pmMajor points for busting out the George Benson tune.
John Cave Osborne commented on Feb 11 11 at 3:04 pm@Maria — I’m glad we’re not alone!
@Amy — oooh. both y’all it, huh? my wife refrains. And there’s nothing lame about the A-team.
@Lindsay Q — The only problem w/ Paparazzi is that it’ll be stuck in your head FOREVER.
@e — okay, that’s just weird b/c God as my witness, i sing that one too. and it’s also in the bathtub. and i almost included it in this post, but i wanted to close on Lady Gaga and i already went overboard w the George Benson. But my Smoke on the Water is sung whenever one of the triplets gets soap in their little eyes and starts fussing.“Soap on the washcloth. The burn is in the eyes.”
great minds think alike!
CG commented on Feb 11 11 at 3:54 pmBoth my husband and I do this ALL THE TIME!!!! It makes life so much more fun and everyone gets a good laugh out of it.
We have come up with some doozies, but your Potty Nazi takes the cake. I am so using that tonight on my twins who are training and totally regressing. We went from no accidents forever to pee and poop on the floor once a day each. They’re on a potty strike and will only sit when they want to. If I even hint at it, the protests do flare up!
My older daughter has been sung to since birth. We used to joke that life’s a musical because everything we did, we’d sing about it. She joined in on it forever and then when she entered preschool and kids were wondering why she sang everything, she got mad at us. Now she only sings at home :)
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