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Strollerderby
If You Want to Be Happy for the Rest of Your Life, Never Make a Skinny Man Your Husband
Is this the weight ratio all couples should follow?
You know the old song by Jimmy Soul – or at least, you should. ”If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife. So from my personal point of view, get an ugly girl to marry you.” My father used to laugh and sing along every time that song came on the radio when I was a kid. He got a special kick out of an exchange between two of the band members that takes place mid-song. ”Hey man, I saw your wife the other day. She’s uglyyyyyyyyy!” ”Yeah, she’s ugly, but she sure can cook, baby!”
Mr. Soul’s advice may not lead to marital bliss, though – because it turns out people aren’t worried about the way their partner looks as much as their size in relation to each other. According to a recent study published in the journal Social Psychological and Personality Science, married men prefer their spouses to be thinner than them. (SHOCKER!) Not thin, per se, just thinner than they are.
The researchers, led by University of Tennessee psychologist Andrea Meltzer, wrote, “Husbands were more satisfied at the time of marriage, and remained more satisfied over time, to the extent that their wives had lower BMIs than their own.” Here’s the caveat: that statistic refers to husbands in their mid- or late-20s. Wives of the same age group also reported being happier if they were smaller than their husbands.
So what happens to marital happiness after women gain those pesky pregnancy pounds?
It’s unclear. These couples – 165 in all – were only followed for four years, and there’s no indication as to how childbirth – and therefore baby weight – affected their marital happiness. My ex-husband is quite the tall, lanky fellow, and while I may have had a lower BMI than he did before I got pregnant, I’m sure I didn’t after giving birth. Maybe we’d still be together if only I’d rushed to lose the baby weight… but God, I hope not. It also doesn’t say exactly why men are happier being bigger and women are happier being smaller, but one is left to infer that the old standards of masculinity and femininity are at play here. What this means for the future is that we’ll likely continue to see lots of models hooking up with guys like Jack Black and fewer thick chicks marrying dudes like Jack Sprat. The worst part is, I’m not sure who should be more offended, chubby girls or skinny guys? Also, finding love in your 30s and 40s may change the equation, when hopefully people are looking for less superficial qualities in a mate.
Photo: Daily Haha
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7 Comments
Sue commented on Jan 17 11 at 8:57 pmDoes anyone else notice the woman in the picture is not smiling?? I still weigh within 5 lbs of when I married at age 28 even after a baby at 41, my EX gained about 60 lbs. That is one of the reasons he is my EX.
Afresh commented on Jan 18 11 at 5:25 amFunny… but as a “thicker” woman, there is a certain appreciation I have for the man who makes me feel smaller. Human nature, perhaps?
Gretchen Powers commented on Jan 18 11 at 7:39 amThanks for THAT comment, Sue. How lame is this? Let’s marry a fat guy so we can let ourselves go…no thanks! I, too, am within 5 lbs of when I got married, post baby. If they’re called “pregnancy pounds” that means once you’re not pregnant any more, you lose them. Yes, our bodies change as we age, but you don’t have to be fat!
Gretchen Powers commented on Jan 18 11 at 12:45 pmAfresh makes a good point, though, I still am not attracted to men who are “skinny” either! I guess to some extent many women want to feel that a man is stronger and powerful or whatever…at least in the bedroom : )
JEssica commented on Jan 18 11 at 4:14 pmI have broad shoulders, when I was dating I always felt fat if the guy I was dating had narrow shoulders (I wasn’t fat). I married a man with broad shoulders. I can see the emotional logic behind this.
al mangia commented on May 10 11 at 7:44 amIt is a good idea for couples to look good for each other and try to keep the promise of what they portrayed when they were dating. We are still about the same weight as when we married over 20 years ago. We both run and lift weights regularly. Letting yourself go is taking your spouse for granted.
Don Clayton commented on May 12 12 at 8:55 amMen and women have different body shapes (obviously). Where I tend to put on weight is not where my wife does. It spreads pretty evenly on me, so a difference of 20 lbps or so is not really noticable. Not so with my wife. My male friends notice her large breasts and are jealous, and her female friends notice I’m tall and husky. We both kind of win in that way. When it comes down to it, who cares as long as you’re happy together? You marry the mind, not the body.
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