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Strollerderby
I Have a New Zodiac Sign – And I’m Not Happy About It
New zodiac sign? I don't think so!
Like John, I just found out that according to the new zodiac sign dates offered up today by the Minnesota Planetarium Society, I am no longer a Saggitarius. Unlike John, though, I’m not an Ophiuchus – aka “a man wrestling a serpent, dividing the snake’s body in two parts,” as described by TIME magazine. According to the new astrological chart, I’m a Scorpio. That means instead of being a truth-seeker above all else, I’m a total horndog.
Scorpios are described as loyal (check), passionate (check), resourceful (eh), observant (sure), dynamic (you betcha). But they’re also known to be jealous (who me? no way!), obsessive (okay maybe a little), suspicious (do you mean paranoid? I smoked a lot of pot one summer while I was in college), manipulative (never!) and unyielding (well… I prefer righteous). On the other hand, Sags are known as “excellent friends because of their encouraging, positive nature and their kind heart.” That’s the truth – just ask John. He and I are excellent friends! Sags “do not expect favors in return, their kindness is selfless.” Exactly. (Although I do always appreciate gas money.) We “do not interfere with other people’s plans” and “are never possessive or jealous.” See?! I told you!
I believe wholly with my optimistic and freedom-loving heart that I am a Saggitarius. And the people at The Washington Post agree that I’m under no obligation to stop reading the astrological advice meant for us archers. They quote Parke Kunkle, the board member of the Minnesota Planetarium Society who announced the date switches and new sign, as saying, “I can tell you what the science is, but I’m not going to tell you what your personality is based on the location of things.”
The Post‘s Melissa Bell writes, “If you’re going to believe that all the people born on your birthday are imbued with certain traits similar to your own in some mystical, ancient manner, you might as well believe it does not matter where the stars are in the sky to begin with.” Amen to that! I don’t plan to switch my horse legs for claws anytime soon.
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Emily commented on Jan 13 11 at 4:42 pmThe new Zodiac only applies to people born after the year 2009. No need to worry, I freaked out too.
carolyncastiglia commented on Jan 13 11 at 5:01 pmReally? I haven’t read that in my searches so far! That makes me feel better. I have a ton of Sag friends and we all love being Sags!
Greywolf commented on Jan 13 11 at 5:10 pmI suggest they actually track the movements of the sun thru the constellations and go with what’s there instead of trying to make up this $#!t as they go.
Besides that, you’d think they could have found a cooler name for a 13th sign. Also, Scorpio only has a WEEK in the zodiac AND this turns me into a @#$%ing LIBRA? oh, HELL no! I am SCORP thru and thru, from the horny to the deep to the intense to the obsessive to the works-really-well-in-intricate-detail.
They can take a hike. You can’t just drop some dork into the middle of an established foundation and shift it that radically without expecting some major backlash.
Mercedes commented on Jan 13 11 at 5:14 pmi too am a fellow Sag:) & i’m eagerly hoping that this only effects those born AFTER 2009 …. can’t see myself as a Scopio.
Katy commented on Jan 13 11 at 5:25 pmI completely agree with you! According to this new zodiac thing I’m no longer a Libra but a Virgo instead, though I’m SCARILY like what a Libra is suppossed to be, and really nothing like a Virgo at all. This new starsign is a load of bull if you ask me :
Lalalala commented on Jan 13 11 at 7:51 pmIf you do follow horoscope, please realize that you’re the same sign as you were before. Your sign is determined on the time and locale of when you were born and the position of the sun in the “houses” of the zodiac. So if you were a Saggitarius, you’re still one. This change only affects those born NOW.
Also, your horoscope signs are based on sun signs – a very generic interpretation of astrology. When they first started putting horoscopes into newspapers, they needed a very basic and generalized list – thus the sun sign horoscopes. If you want a real in-depth horoscope, you at the very least need to check your moon sign, and the position of the other planets at your birth as well.
(and there is a typo in the 2nd para:
Sag’s “do not expect favors in return, their kindness is selfless.” Exactly.
Sag’s should be “Sags” – no apostrophe – since it’s meant to be plural not a possessive. I HATE the overuse of the damn apostrophe to indicate plural… it means possessive in 99% of the cases!)
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