How much do children process and think about news involving potential foreign conflict?

Images of a Chinese J-20 stealth fighter in the midst of a potential test flight were posted on a number of websites as well as the front page of the Wall Street Journal today. And while the United States government is downplaying the disclosure of the photos, saying China isn’t close to being able to put that type of aircraft to use, concerns about China’s military buildup are increasing as a potential threat to the U.S. military and its aircraft carriers.

The Wall Street Journal points to the photos as evidence that China is farther along than previously believed, although the development of the J-20 has always been somewhat inevitable.

The first thing I thought about upon reading the news was, “Where’s my daughter?” It’s rare that she’s not with me or within 20 feet of me at any moment, but I inevitably feel a moment of panic when news of war or strife is on the forefront.

It’s a feeling that stretches back to when I was a kid and felt panicked when the United States was on the verge of the first Gulf War. I vividly remember being aware that it was the first war of my lifetime, and I stayed awake at night fretting that Muammar Gaddafi himself would come marching down our street at any moment. Images of Gaddafi and Hitler were interchangeable in my mind.

But my parents alleviated my fears by telling me that because we were on American soil, we were safe. So I stood up in homeroom the next day and announced that no one else should be scared, either. Then another kid stood up and told me all about Pearl Harbor, and how that was on American soil. The little safe haven in which I had been basking suddenly turned ice cold.

Years later, incidents like the first and second World Trade Center bombings didn’t help me stop worrying about attacks on the United States, particularly since my entire family and me were in New York for both, in some cases just blocks away. On Sept. 11th, we scrambled to get in touch with each other and head out of the city, and the moments of panic before everyone was accounted for were beyond terrifying. Just last year my sister and her husband were at a Broadway show at the exact same time the car bomb plot in Times Square was foiled.

At some point I stopped looking to my parents for reassurance, because I knew they couldn’t provide it in good conscience. After all, in this day and age, how do you really convince kids (big or small) that they have nothing to worry about?

It’s one thing to sit down at the dinner table with your kids and in soothing tones explain that their little world is protected, but it’s much harder to control what gets discussed in a school classroom, or even worse, on a playground. Kids can internalize bad news and worry incessantly. A parent’s instinct is often to protect, but how much sheltering is possible, particularly these days with the Internet and so much information is available at everyone’s fingertips?

And what do you tell your kids about today’s news, and how China might possible want to hurt the United States? As insignificant as American officials might make the images out to be, the sight of a stealth fighter can do wonders — and not in a good way — once they’re inside the mind of a child.

Do your kids worry about war?

Image: Creative Commons

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