@Bill—fair enough. Thanks for chiming in.

I agree as well. I’m all for giving your child room to grow and be and discover. While the sharing of this story is instructive and inspirational, I personally feel I have no right to forfeit my child’s privacy over his sexuality. The world of mom/dad bloggers is still fairly new and I imagine as the children of these folks grow up, they might have something to say about their childhood being out there for public consumption. In the meantime, I’d err on the side of some subjects being off limits… sexuality being one of them.

I agree that the title might come back to bite her in the butt someday but i would guess it was used to grab attention and there is no doubt it did that. What’s done is done and i’m sure there a few posts i’d second guess if they gained such coverage.

@Lis @lisa— as I said—I loved the sentiment behind her post. I totally agree with it. And I commend her for standing up for her son. But at the end of the day, she did so by linking him to the title “My Son Is Gay.” If she did it to get attention, fine. I get that. But, as I said, three years from now, I wonder if it won’t cause more strife than positivity. Similar situation from the Kilodavis family, also handled effectively, yet done so without any labels. All that said, I appreciate both of your perspectives. They were both well articulated. Thanks for commenting.

So basically you’re proving her point. According to you saying someone is gay is an insult or something to be ashamed of. Many of the 8 year olds I know have grown up around same sex couples and parents and it’s not an insult to say someone is gay. It’s a non-issue. Sadly some kids will be going to school with your kids who, it appears, will see it as something to be mocked over.

And, as much as you say you ‘get her point’ you clearly don’t. The point is she doesn’t care what he is as long as he’s happy and feels supported.

@Mistress_Scorpio—I’m pretty sure bettywu was talking to me, but what you said is exactly what I would have countered with. I’ll add just a few things: two of my favorite men on this entire planet are a homosexual couple who live in Memphis. I would give my life for those guys, and they both know it. Come hang out with my family sometime around the holidays and you’ll see that they aren’t the only homosexual representation at our table. Our family has a lot of homosexuality in it—not that it matters. Because it doesn’t. I don’t even see them like that. I see them for who they are. Point? I don’t have a homophobic bone in my body. The last thing I would ever think is that it’s an insult to call someone gay. So insinuating as such is simply off base. As I said in my post: “The language Dean Kilodavis uses is loving, open-minded and tolerant, but it also leaves plenty of wiggle room for his son. Which makes sense. As it’s ultimately Dyson who will grow into whomever he is to become. And growth requires room. No need to pinpoint anything. Time will do that.”

Personally, the last thing I would ever do would be to write a post about one of my children attaching any type of label to him or her. I’ll let each of my children do that for themselves. Would I stand up for them in a similar situation? YOU BET I WOULD. It’s just that I think my style would be more like the Kilodavis’ and less like Cop’s Wife’s.

I agree with Betty Wu. Would you be as concerned with a blog post that discussed a boy in preschool’s “crush” on a girl? It’s affirming an assumed heterosexuality. Would that “damage” him or cause him “strife” if it was found by classmates in the future? You’re clearly expressing some homophobia here, but I don’t think you see it. The whole point is that it shouldn’t be any more culturally fraught to say your son is gay than it is to talk about a preschool boy’s “girlfriend” (which I’ve heard a disturbing number of times) and yet it is. In a better world, it wouldn’t cause him any strife at all.

@ann05—I get your whole point, but I don’t think you get mine. Discussing a “crush” on a girl is far different from rocking a post title that’s bound to draw at least hundreds of thousands of hits. But guess what? I’d NEVER blog about one of my kids having a crush. EVER.

A lot of people agree with me on this one, including a number of mom and dad bloggers, several of whom are quite prominent/accomplished. And a lot of people disagree with me, too. But your contention that I’m homophobic is simply off base. Every single one of my homosexual friends and relatives would tell you just that.

The Kilodavis story is about acceptance in general, about accepting little boys who like to dress up like a girl in specific. Cop’s Wife story is supposedly about just that, but for many, including me, it’s morphed into a story about what is and what is not okay to post about your children on line.

All that said, I’m genuinely glad you commented. I think the debate is an important one.

Even gay people can have, and often have internalized homophobia. It’s a social prejudice. So referencing “gay friends” is a bit like saying I’m not a racist! I have a black friend! It may be true, but it’s a weak argument. I can understand a discussion about what you should post about your child online, but I maintain that this particular post sounds like there’s a tinge of gay panic going on (but what if children later think he’s gay!) and that is homophobic, in the sense of homosexuality being something scary or having a stigma attached to it. If that wasn’t the intention, well, perhaps this wasn’t the time to draw a line in the sand about what is or is not “ok” to post about kids.

I think… PEOPLE ARE BLOWING THIS WAY OUT OF PROPORTION.