Misty McCollister

A 35-year-old Nevada woman was arrested last month for drinking and driving.  Well, more precisely, drinking until she was blacked out and then plopping her 12-year-old son on her lap so he could drive his mother and his 7-year-old brother home.

This story is so insane, I can’t seem to identify the worst detail.  Sure, this woman, in her super-inebriated state, thought it was a better idea to have her son drive than for her to drive.  But why were her kids with her in the first place?  Why didn’t anyone else partying with her think to call someone to come and get her and her children?  Or have the courtesy to invite them to sleep over?  (Because she’s a blackout drunk who was on a bender with other blackout drunks, I know.  But still.)

The mother, Misty McCollister (pet’s name plus the street she grew up on?), age 35, told Judge Dave Gambler that she’s a recovering alcoholic who fell off the wagon “and had been drinking all weekend before the incident.”  According to The Daily Mail, she’s “pleaded guilty to attempted child abuse or neglect and could face up to five years in prison and a $10,000 fine.”  She will be sentenced December 14.

McCollister told the judge a friend of hers had driven her car to his house, adding, “He pulled into his driveway and just left us there.  There was another lady with us, but she didn’t have her glasses, so she refused to drive.”  (When you’re driving drunk, proper eyewear really does make all the difference.  It helps you to see 4 yellow lines instead of 6.)  What I want to know is, what happened to this lady?  Did she call someone for a ride?  Did she sleep at the man friend’s house?  If she was responsible enough to decline driving without glasses, she had to have been responsible enough to help McCollister get her kids home – which leads me to believe McCollister’s story is bunk.  So why didn’t McCollister and brood sleep in the car for a few hours and then go home?

Gamble described McCollister as “evil,” saying, “All that conspired from your perspective to force you to commit felony child abuse.  That’s nonsense.  Next time you’re in here, I hope I don’t hear a pocketful of excuses for the absolute evilness and irrationality of putting your son on your lap while you’re drunk and driving you home.”  I don’t know if McCollister is evil, but she’s certainly ill.  Let’s hope this woman is able to attend rehab and get her life right for the sake of her children, or when her son is 16, he just may choose not to drive… to visit her in jail.

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