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Gifted Children Just As Likely to Fail in Life as Regular Kids
Is being gifted a blessing or a curse?
Children who are blessed with innate talents that go above and beyond the capabilities of most kids would seem to have a leg up in life. But according to a new study, such exceptionally talented children are just as likely to fail as their more average peers.
The study, which was conducted by Professor Joan Freeman and included over 200 children, found that for some gifted children, the label itself is the problem. Being identified as gifted at a young age often results in being treated differently – by parents, teachers and especially peers. With such high expectations and few friends, a gifted child can suffer emotionally.
Being gifted means being better able to deal with things intellectually but not always emotionally. Others such as parents and teachers, can feel threatened by them and react with put-downs. What they need is acceptance for who they are, appropriate opportunities to develop their potential and reliable moral support.
Shortly before my own child started fourth grade this year, I received a letter from her school informing me that she had been designated as gifted and talented and, as such, would be given “differentiated problem based learning opportunities” that will encourage her to “think critically and analytically.” Not being gifted myself, I had to ask what that meant.
What that means, of course, is that she will be assigned different and more difficult work than most of her classmates. I made a conscious decision not to tell any other parents and debated long and hard about whether or not to tell her. In the end, I told her about the letter and regretted it almost immediately. Struggling with math homework the first week of school, she fretted that if she didn’t do well her gifted and talented designation might be taken away.
We are now pretending we never got that letter.
Of course, every parent thinks their child is gifted. But when they are officially identified as such, is it a blessing or a curse?
Image: rarye/Flickr
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[...] Gifted Kids Just as Likely to Fail in Life as Regular Kids [...]
Students Pay for Being Late to Class | Strollerderby commented on Sep 28 10 at 1:01 pmbob commented on Sep 28 10 at 11:13 amThis is a giant potential pitfall and Sandy is wise to deal cautiously. It’s a little like being an heir to a fortune (I imagine). You inspire feelings of jealousy and inferiority in others, but few see the burden you carry as anything but a blessing. It’s also a little like being officially designated teacher’s pet or getting favored treatment from the prison warden.
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Also, from the article: “[O]ften the gifted excel in many areas – and may have to try out several things before they settle in one discipline.” We live in a world that rewards specialization, but gifted people can get addicted to learning and become driven to make themselves smarter in many areas. Meanwhile, non-gifted folks hunker down and work hard to specialize at the thing they are least bad at (and eventually become experts).
Wendy Young, LMSW, BCD commented on Sep 28 10 at 11:25 amAs a parent, and even as a therapist, I eschew labels. So limiting. I subscribe to the notion that labels are for jelly jars.
I think that being gifted is both a blessing and a curse. There can be a lot of emotional upheaval in the lives of gifted children and adults…and the more profoundly gifted, the more intense the emotional reaction can be. I personally think it is best to keep labels in perspective and let kids be kids. As the child matures, it may be helpful for them to know and understand about giftedness, to the degree that it helps them understand themselves better.
I think it always best to focus on helping every child be the best he or she can be…and commend them on effort, persistence, diligence…rather than just grades or ability.
Life being what it is, social-emotional development is a KEY aspect of success in life. And in this area, gifted kids can actually be at risk.
Leila commented on Sep 28 10 at 12:22 pmIntellectually gifted individuals tend to question rules and authority. Life in school tends to be hard for them and also depressing because it’s hard to find like-minded peers. But even if their emotional development is normal, life happens. Bad luck, missed opportunities, disfunctional relationships, this can happen to anyone and derail them from a path of success, regardless if you’re gifted or not.
bob commented on Sep 28 10 at 12:49 pmI find the “gifted” label disconcerting in it’s similarity to “special”. It sounds exactly like a euphemism designed to delude the victims of an abnormality and facilitate polite reference to their affliction.
JEssica commented on Sep 28 10 at 1:42 pmAll I see in special education even for the so-called gifted is more money spent on a few students to the detriment of the rest of the students.
alison commented on Sep 28 10 at 1:55 pmWhen people ask me what I do, I tend to adopt an apologetic, self-deprecating tone. I don’t know that it ever helped me to know that I tested 6 grade levels higher on standardized tests or to be in special classes which either didn’t challenge me enough or challenged me so much I gave up (and then assumed I was stupid for doing poorly or for needing help). I feel like my career choices have been huge disappointments, that I should have become a doctor or lawyer (even though these were not careers I wanted for myself) instead of an actress/writer/stay-at-home mom. Even now, my parents will sometimes ask if I want to go to graduate school because they feel that I am not living up to my full potential (though they believe they are being supportive).
MamaCat commented on Sep 28 10 at 3:01 pmIts hell being noticeably different from the pack no matter what your difference is. Gifted classes offer the benefit of putting gifted kids with their own tribe early on, as opposed to waiting until entering a specialty school or college to find like-talented people. That helps those kids a lot with social and emotional development as well.
Penn Girl commented on Sep 28 10 at 3:53 pmI’m so glad that I was identified as gifted in school when it resulted in getting transferred into a GATE (gifted and talented) classroom. Until that transfer, I felt incredibly isolated from my peers. I was bored in school, not performing well, and felt depressed (and I was only nine-years-old). Once I switched to a GATE classroom, I found the atmosphere to be much more positive. The kids loved learning; the teachers loved teaching; the activities were more geared toward problem solving and not rote memorization. My three-year-old is showing signs of giftedness and I plan on doing whatever I can to get him identifying and put into a special classroom as early as possible.
JEssica commented on Sep 28 10 at 3:58 pmMamacat, “Gifted classes offer the benefit of putting gifted kids with their own tribe early on, as opposed to waiting until entering a specialty school or college to find like-talented people. That helps those kids a lot with social and emotional development as well.” Or it handicapped them from learning how to deal with people and they never learned how to interact properly. In real-life you don’t get to separate yourself from everybody.
Deborah commented on Sep 28 10 at 5:31 pmIt is great that gifted children are recognized in our world today but it is really a two-edged sword. As some have commented, they are labeled as very different from other children. It is actually like a disability in a way. After having a gifted son and teaching public school for many years, the degrees of mistreatment by peers as well as a few well-meaning teachers, takes a toll on the child. My son kept his abilities a secret and even pretended to not know how to do many skills orally because he did not like being different and resented by others. However, he always tested extremely well which got the attention of administrators and, of course, his teachers.
I wish that the process of identification could be kept more confidential and those students could be taught in a more subtle way. Please join my blog at http://www.learningbythenumbers.com.
Marj commented on Oct 09 10 at 2:43 pmRecently a friend of mine commenting that she was disappointed that her 5 year old isn’t gifted. I pointed out to her that normal as opposed to gifted can be a lot happier. My brother was gifted. He is now 32 and still struggling. He has a Master’s degree and he is barely able to take care of himself and is still working on being able to support himself. Sure, he also has a history of depression but that too is more common among the gifted.
Lynda commented on Oct 16 10 at 6:44 pmWhile I agree that teachers and peers may potentially treat a “gifted” child differently, I firmly believe that it is the messages received at home about who they are that really affect the overall trajectory and success in anyone’s life. This article changed the way I praise my kids and I have seen a real difference, especially in the one who was only 6 when we made the change. It is a little long, but worth absorbing. http://nymag.com/news/features/27840/ Bob posted above:”gifted people can get addicted to learning and become driven to make themselves smarter in many areas. Meanwhile, non-gifted folks hunker down and work hard to specialize at the thing they are least bad at (and eventually become experts).” There is an interesting insight into why this is so for some “gifted” people in the article.
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