babble » blogs » Strollerderby
Strollerderby
Teaching Your Kids About Love
How do you teach your kids about love in all it's forms?
What do you teach your kids about love? Does happily ever after always feature a man, a woman and a wedding?
It doesn’t in real life, but it’s hard to find examples of the alternatives in children’s books and movies. Even if you’re dedicated to showing your kids that they have a rainbow of choices when it comes to falling in love, it’s hard to do.
In honor of bisexual pride day yesterday, Annie at Phd. in Parenting offered up a lovely essay on her efforts to teach her children about love in all its forms.
When my kids play house, they tussle over roles: someone has to be the mommy, someone has to be the daddy. You get one of each, for a game of house. The mom and dad are married.
This is their default play script, even though they are surrounded by different models of loving families. Even their own: the kids have grown up watching me have a healthy, loving relationship with their dad and with my girlfriend.
Many of the adults in their world are gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender. My girls have friends with single parents who were never married, friends whose parents are unmarried partners, friends whose parents are divorced. Looking around the crowd at any birthday party we go to makes it obvious that there’s more than one right way to make a family.
I’ve rarely fussed over how to talk with my kids about these issues. They’re young; modeling healthy relationships has been the simplest path.
While I still hope my actions will speak for themselves, Annie’s post made me think I should be doing more with words to let them know it’s OK for them to love whoever they love when they grow up. They might choose to marry a man, or a woman, or no one at all. They can have rich fulfilling lives with any of those choices.
Any suggestions for books, movies, etc. that show diverse happy family structures? Have you made a conscious effort to share your values about romantic love with your kids?
Photo: Friereke
Go Back To Strollerderby
0 Comments
Lizzie commented on Sep 24 10 at 10:50 pmFunny, but my situation is similar to yours but my experience is exactly the opposite: we were the first lesbian couple in our group of friends (there are now three couples in our school system) and the little girls that my daughter played with JUMPED at the opportunity to have pretend two mommy families…after all, no one really wanted to be the daddy. (And this became the norm at playdates at other households.) Everyone got to be pretty. Everyone got to have the baby. It was a win-win situation, that both surprised and amused me. And it had nothing to do with sexual identity…most of the girls still said they wanted to marry a boy when they grow up, although a few said either a boy or a girl. I assumed that this was how it generally went–your article really surprised me!
Linda commented on Sep 25 10 at 6:18 pmHave you seen this yet, Sierra?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7IcVyvg2Qlo
Vanessa commented on Sep 27 10 at 4:34 pmExcellent synchronicity! Just the other day we got some board books and children’s books in the mail from a good friend of ours. She sent us books that are all about families with two mommies, two daddies, and two uncles getting married. Specifically:
“Mommy, Mama, and Me” by Leslea Newman.
“Daddy, Papa, and Me” by Leslea Newman.
“Uncle Bobby’s Wedding” by Sarah Brannen.
“In Our Mothers’ House” by Patricia Polacco.My toddler is all excited now for me to read the board books over and over again to her. She particularly asks for the “mommy book” a lot. Hopefully there will be more and more children’s books options in the future that show alternative family structures.
Andromeda commented on Sep 27 10 at 4:43 pmThis is reminiscent of _Nurture Shock_’s chapter on talking to your kids about race.
Add your take:
Note: Babble is a supportive, diverse community. We encourage a range of opinions,
but any unduly hostile comments will be removed.
Comments are delayed up to 15 minutes
Lori Garcia 
Joslyn Gray 
Amber Doty 
Julianna Miner 
Monica Bielanko 
Sierra Black 
Meredith Carroll 
Carolyn Castiglia 
Sunny Chanel 
Madeline Holler 
Rebecca Odes 
Danielle Smith 
Danielle Sullivan 
Katherine Stone 
The Walt Disney Company supports Babble as a platform dedicated to honest, engaged, informed, intelligent and open conversation about parenting. However, the opinions expressed on this site are those of individual parents/writers and do not reflect the views of Disney. In addition, content provided on this site is for entertainment or informational purposes only and should not be construed as medical advice, diagnosis, treatment, or safety advice.
0