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When Your Child is One of the Bullies
Help your child stop bullying
Sure, any parent dreads finding out that their child has been bullied. But have you ever thought about getting the call that your child is the bully?
Bullying is a big problem in schools, with it’s cyber bullying or old school lunch money stealing. Most advice out there is for how to handle the victims. But parents should also know what to do if their child is the one doing the bullying.
iVillage‘s slideshow of straightforward, non-judgmental advice will help the parent of bullies tackle the issue head-on. The most important part, perhaps, in getting your kid out of the all-powerful bully mode?
Yes, admitting that there’s a problem.
There may be signs that your kid is a bully. Either she solves every conflict by hitting or sarcasm or you’re getting multiple calls about her involvement in physical situations at daycare or school. All kids tease, but not all kids are cruel. Know the difference. Also, if your child doesn’t stop after being told do, there’s something else going on.
You should also intervene if you see your child behaving like a bully, but chances are they’re keeping it hidden from you. Try to find a way to observe your child without him knowing it. Then get to the bottom of things: what emotions are driving this behavior? Here are 5 excellent tips to help your child resolve conflict.
In addition to punishing bullying behavior and making sure you’re not allowing bullying behaviors to work in other situations (e.g. at home with siblings), do the one thing you may dread the most: reach out to your child’s victim’s parents. Ugh, yes. But chances are they want to work together to get it to stop, not hate you or your child.
Have your kids ever been bullies? What did you do? How did you feel?
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[...] When Your Child is One of the Bullies [...]
Childbirth at Private Hospital More Likely a C Section | Strollerderby commented on Sep 13 10 at 2:05 pmDan Mayfield commented on Sep 12 10 at 3:55 amComments
The problem is that most victims of bullying are too afraid to speak up and report what is happening, not even to their family and friends. They are being taught to “stop being a tattle-tale” by adults, and by code through peer-pressure that the worst thing a person can be is a “Rat.”
That is why I wrote the book, Bully Billy Beranger for Elementary School Aged Children. It is the ONLY book to my knowledge that actually arms kids (or anyone for that matter) with an actual practical, real-life SOLUTION to handle Bullying. It teaches them in story form how to report what is happening anonymously. No one will ever know who reported the incidents under this SOLUTION, it really is a truely ANONYMOUS (not just Confidential, but Anonymous) way to report bullying, or any other threat, crime, or unacceptable behavior.
My book can be purchased online at http://WWW.DaleePublishing.Com. I encourage you to read it and post a review.
B Tucker commented on Sep 12 10 at 10:58 amYour link on How to Resolve Conflict doesn’t seem to work. I would love to see the article you are trying to link to!
Madeline Holler commented on Sep 13 10 at 1:38 pmAck! So sorry about the broken link! It’s fixed and here it is too. Great piece!
http://www.babble.com/toddler/toddler-behavior-and-learning/moms-conflict-resolution-tips-toddlers/
Rosana commented on Sep 13 10 at 2:44 pmI always watch my kid even from a distance and if I see another kid picking on him I stand back and watch (unles the other kid is attacking him physically) I do not intervine and let him deal with the situation. I think that is the best way for him to learn to stand up for himselfin the future.
I think it has worked because there was once a girl a little older than him that would not let him play with any toy at all and when he sat on a rocking chair she tried to push the rocking chair forward to make him fall forward and he grabbed her arm and told her no and put her hand down so she would stop pushing the chair. I felt so happy to see him stand up for himself :)
ALittleShort commented on Sep 13 10 at 8:19 pmGrowing up as a kid I was always short. I was always 2 years behind in height, because from the ages of 2-4 I did not grow. In 3rd grade there was a kid calling me names that had to do with my height, I continually told him to stop, he didn’t listen, so I punched him in the face. My mom got a call from the teacher and this is how the call went:
Teacher: Your daughter hit another student.
Mom: Well she doesn’t normally hit unless she had a reason.
Teacher: Well he was making fun of her.
Mom: There is your answer then. and she has two brothers at home, what did you expect her to do?The kid was a head taller then me, and from that day forward never made fun of me again. I think kids are perfectly capable of standing up for themselves if you stop coddling them. Let them fall, and stand up again, and let them stand up for themselves. I think some of the time (definitely not all the time) bullying happens because the kids let it happen. As someone who is small, I put my foot down, and knew that if what I was doing wasn’t enough, I did have my family to back me up. That included my brothers, who if you ask them, they will tell you that only they are allowed to make fun of me :)
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