I have a friend who is a lactation specialist. She’s helped hundreds of women with breastfeeding issues. When she had her third child, I was witness to her tears and frustration with the difficulty of the early days of breastfeeding. It was such a valuable lesson to me, as I don’t question my own frustration, nor do I imagine anyone who breastfeeds as serene, peaceful, zen mommas whose very existence mocks my efforts. Women need to stop competing against each other! Sheesh!

Reading “What a Boob” reminded me of my first breastfeeding group meeting after my son was born. I wasn’t having any problems, but I felt vulnerable and exposed, like everyone there was watching me. Of course, they weren’t. I was so pleased to read about the author’s perseverance and dedication. Conflicting information from LCs and pediatricians can be so frustrating. It’s always great when mother’s intuition triumphs. Let’s celebrate that, not turn it into something ugly like “nursing fascism”. Whatever that is.

Even if you know what you are doing, it takes time to figure it out. And that expertise only counts for that child at the moment. You do not know how the experience with the next child is going to go.

“I don’t understand why someone would be criticised for using a nipple shield.” They wouldn’t. This is more self-conscious weirdness.

I was a wreck after my second child also didn’t latch the proper way and chewed away at both nipples. I mean it, he literally chewed down both nipples. I know many moms out there know exactly what I’m talking about. After I found some relief from a nipple shield, I decided to go to a breastfeeding clinic once again. When the LC asked me to start feeding and saw what I put on my breast (a nipple shield), she said: “Oh, you’re giving your child HEROINE?! Too bad, now he’s hooked forever.”
As a hormone-raging, postpartum mom, that was not the smartest, most sensitive thing to say. I burst into tears. There’s so much judgment out there. I have enough common sense to know that this woman made a mistake. She was trying to be clever; regardless, I was hurt because I took the time to seek help and expected someone nurturing and understanding.
I do however believe that the tide is turning back. My youngest is almost 3 and I see how the newest moms are a touch more relaxed about breastfeeding. If it works, great and if it doesn’t, don’t let it take you to that dark, stressful place. I’m not convinced that “persevering” at all cost is the right message. Be brave and do what you think is best for you AND baby.

Mistress_Scorpio – I am sure you had your baby last Friday but this seems inconsistent with your eloquent, well-written post. Can you really have a newborn? We’d love the details!

Beautiful! Lovely news! Many warm congratulations. Welcome, Maximo! (Strollerderby’s newest fan!)

Congrats and love the name!!!

Congrats, MS! I, too, have a newborn (4 weeks old today), albeit he is the not-so-legendary one who likes to sleep for 45 minutes at a time:) Or since my twins are now 7, I am perhaps a bit spoiled in that I’d gotten used to sleeping like a normal person again.

This article is difficult for me as I gave up on breastfeeding a week ago after a bout of mastitis and both of us with thrush. It was never enjoyable for me, and I felt VERY isolated as though we were two separate families – my husband and the twins versus me and the baby. It was also very painful and baby and I were both in tears at the end of each feeding – even with the nipple shield. I’ve come to see that the early days are just hard for everyone. My mother didn’t breastfeed, and although supportive, couldn’t really offer help. Lactation consultant said baby’s frenulum was too tight and he couldn’t latch on properly unless we took him to the pediatrician to have it cut. Until that was remedied, baby wouldn’t be able to get enough to eat and would be miserable. Took baby to ped and was told that cutting the frenulum was an antiquated practice and I just needed to toughen up and soldier through the pain and worry that baby was hungry all the time. My husband, who is a very helpful and involved dad, hated to see us both crying 8-12 times a day, but remained supportive. He went to Babies R Us and got talked into buying one of everything that Medela makes to no avail.

It was just an all-around negative experience for me, and the part that makes me feel the worst is that I just feel relief now that I’m not breastfeeding him anymore. I know I’ll probably get flamed for that, and I don’t really know what my goal is here besides the fact that confession is cathartic and good for the soul. Anyway, congrats again, MS, and enjoy that baby and your sleep!

When my son was 2 weeks old I had to take medication that I couldn’t breastfeed on, so by the time he could nurse again he was used to the bottle. I started using a shield, because it was the only way he would take the breast. I had a nurse tell me how I was just being lazy and if I tried hard enough I could get him to nurse without it. After several weeks of us both ending up in tears at every feeding I realized that as long as he was getting fed and was happy it didn’t matter. Since then I’ve done whats best for both of us and not worried about all the critical remarks from others.