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Badmouthing Your Ex Could be a Psychiatric Disorder
The diagnosis of Parental Alienation Disorder is being considered for inclusion in the upcoming edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5). Advocacy groups and clinicians are pushing for it to go through – saying that it’s a real condition that affects a huge number of children.
The clinical picture: a divorced family in which the child is brainwashed by one parent to believe that the other parent is the bad guy (without good reason). In mild form it means withholding or interfering with visits to the other parent, not being able to tolerate being in the same room, or making subtle negative comments that influence the kid’s feelings about his mom or dad. The severe form?
One of the speakers at an upcoming conference of the Canadian Symposium for Parental Alienation Syndrome, Pamela Richardson, describes her own experience losing her four-year-old son after going through a divorce. Richardson says, in her book A Kidnapped Mind, that her husband emotionally abused their son – teaching him slowly but surely to hate his mother and eventually cut off communication.
Severe or “obsessed” alienators, according to the Parental Alienation Syndrome website, have relentless hatred for the other parent and go on a crusade to make the kid feel the same. The end result – one parent-child duo becomes enmeshed, while the alienated mom or dad is edged out completely. Clinicians who work with these families describe kids who kick, hit, spit on and swear at the parent who has fallen out of favor – even threatening to hurt themselves or someone else if they are forced to visit.
Advocates say it’s beyond the normal anger and emotional turbulence of a separation – one parent, usually for narcissistic reasons, is manipulating and controlling the child.
It seems like a tricky clinical assessment to make (nothing about family dynamics is simple). But having this diagnosis on the books might give therapists a framework for spotting and helping families that are being driven apart.
The C.S.P.A.S. conference will take place Oct 2 and 3 at Mount Sinai School of Medicine – it’s for mental health and family law professionals, but open to the public.
Image: everystockphoto
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0 Comments
Lucky commented on Jul 31 10 at 8:47 pmHow sad.
ann05 commented on Aug 01 10 at 12:25 amHmm… SD bloggers, heal thy selves.
Linda commented on Aug 01 10 at 8:19 pmThat’s just dreadful, but who knew being a complete asshat was a psychiatric disorder. :/
AdVader commented on Aug 01 10 at 9:08 pmThe crux of parental alienation is the truth, badmouthing the truth is protecting the children with reality against sociopathic mothers, (anti)social emotional feminizers wants only to ‘communicate’ nice and cosy with a cup of thea, misusing behavior non-sense because governments provide, with chilcren as weapon&shield! Divorce is childabuse and also defathering is the most terrible crime in worlds history against people (children&fathers and his family!), against humanity and against mankind! FamilyLife-4-Children&Fathers!
AdVader commented on Aug 02 10 at 10:16 amFathers don’t be afraid, they say you are psychiatric and they will criminalize you except when you shut up, adapt and do what they tell you to do (bleed&pay). Stephen Baskerville wrote “Divorced from Reality”, defathering is a lifelong trauma and childtheft can never be accepted, it’s not a happening in life like momentary trauma’s becuase of death or abuse which can be accepted in a healthy way, although that can be difficult. Divorce is not normal and also defathering is an insane reality. Many fathers (and children!) are seperated from society, that’s a non-psychiatric disorder (PTSD-PTSS-PAS-Stockholm). Divorce is never normal and childabuse, children belong with their biological father&mother (hetero’s), stop the dirty feminized war against children&fathers, hetero’s and normal families.
Huh? commented on Aug 02 10 at 10:51 amOff the top of my head, I think of two disorders that manifiest themselves as asshattery; narcissism and sociopathy. This kind of situation just sounds like the former to me (NOT a mental health profession, obviously). Why come up with new disorders that are just expressions of existing disorders in a new situation?
Huh? commented on Aug 02 10 at 11:01 amAlso to ann05- yowch! That’s pretty harsh. I think the blogger to which you are referring is trying to be open about the recent events in her life that are coloring her response to current events, not to mention shaping what news items are drawing her attention. I agree that it can get a bit much sometimes, but I appreciate the honesty, and the reminder that not all child rearing concerns revolve around organic onesies, baby yoga, how exceptional your child is, and cute arguments with your (perfect) co-parent about who’s going to breezily whip up the evening meal of fresh (local, natch) veggies and quinoa.
Chris commented on Aug 10 10 at 2:05 amComments: I don’t really mind what it is called but it certainly does exist ie Parental Alienation Syndrome or PAS. One minute there was mutual love with my 6 children after separation my former spouse did a superb job of alienating each one over a few months and now I haven’t heard from or seen my children for 3 years and counting… Go to the Family Court I hear many say… they promote alienation by endorsing the parent caught red handed doing it. That’s what happens in Australia… so tragic for children who are subjected to this absolute cruelty and the damage that plays out in them for the rest of their lives.
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