Polygamy can suck, so can serial monogamy, or being stuck with someone you don’t love. I’ve been in non-monogamous relationships and some were great and some were not great, but they all ended for the same reasons that monogamous ones do — deceit, ennui, lack of affection, you-name-it. Personally, I think that when society promotes one form of relationship (like, say, heterosexual life-long monogamy) over any other it creates huge unhappiness for anyone unable to meet that ideal.

I always wondered what would happen to most of the men in a polygamous society. Like BlackOrchid says, it is nearly always polygyny. Therefore, a few, wealthy men would have lots of wives, the rest of the heterosexual men would have to be celibate?

One more thought—to give much credence to these scholars’ argument that legalizing polygamy would create a situation in which “loser” men would end up unmarried and criminal (which is silly, anyway, losers and criminals usually seem to have little trouble finding girls with whom to make babies they won’t support), you have to start out with the premise that women in Canada circa 2010 would choose, most of the time, to be one of many wives rather than a one-and-only. The free market for mates works both ways, at least in North America. We’ve never really tested that, as most societies that practice polygamy on a large scale are pretty backwards and have so few social and economic options for women. When you take polygamy away from the other conditions of polygamous societies, like state-sanctioned religious extremism, child marriage, laws preventing women from working, etc. it becomes just another choice, and not a particularly attractive one from a cool financial standpoint (would you rather share a man making $100,000 a year with another woman and her two kids, or have a man making $50,000 devote his money to you and your two shared kids alone)

actually, it’s NOT “all good”…just because kids can adapt to various situations does make any of those situations ideal or even “good”…or even acceptable

I agree. Having multiple male partners for me, a female, would be great. (Note: in real life, I have chosen to remain single). Why do I get the feeling that when people say polygamy, that it implies one male, many females?

@Mistress_Scorpio, absolutely. You can have the first few months to assist with nightfeedings, etc. We’ll need to start by writing an ad. SOH essential.

It’s true that very young women from ultra-religious families will be pressured to marry men with multiple wives, as they are pressured to marry the “right” man now. That’s horrible, but as long as there is legal oversight to make sure that anyone who marries as a singular or plural wife is in fact an adult, that she knows she has a legal choice and that she has police protection and domestic violence shelters available if her family tries to force her into marriage, I think Canada (and one day the US) can handle this freedom. I don’t know how marriage works in Canada, but in the US several states allow children (14-17) to marry with the consent of their parents, and I do think that is wrong, whether for plural marriage or traditional, so I hope if Canada has that loophole, they remove it, so that teenage girls can’t be effectively forced into marriage by their parents. The real problem, so far as I can tell, in Muslim countries (there are no Mormon countries that I know of) is that children are legally sold into marriage—they’re not choosing to become plural wives, so there isn’t a free market for mates; there’s a free market for women who are treated as chattle by the law and society. In Canada some fringe communities may have these attitude toward women, but the law doesn’t.

Your average polyamorous relationship (from what I’ve seen) is nothing like polygamous marriage. Polygamous marriage tends to treat women as second class people, perhaps even more like pets. I don’t think women’s rights are so entrenched that this could work. We need to work harder on making sure young women are not abused, are well-educated and not bartered like property before this could work.

I support people getting their lives together as adults and being fully, (more or less), functional. I have yet to meet a highly functioning couple who’ve been married for years and have not had some go about through the possibility of cheating and being with others. It is a choice to stay, it is a choice to get as healthy as possible, it is a choice to commit to one, (or two or four) and share your soul with others. I know at least two women who practice polyandry (one woman and more than one man) and in both cases, the men seem perfectly happy…
Given that sexual maturity level seems to stop at the age of 12 for most people, I encourage people to grow up. Try this website http://www.tantranova.com, they are great friends of mine and they’ve had a show on TV for quite a while which teaches people about the secrets of maturity and being love. That is really what this is all about anyway, being love.

Here in Canada, the reason people are opposed is *because* of the children of Bountiful (same story with Muslim) – the girls are isolated, do not know their rights, are denied education and forced to work hard. Marriage to some old fart who is 40 years older and already has 16 wives looks like an escape. Meanwhile, the boys are starved, abused and driven out of the community around age 12 , illiterate and ignorant of the world outside the compound. Meanwhile, the cycle of jealousy, insecurity and competition for resources ( both material and emotional) continues with the new child bride. The Bible talks about multiple wives, but none of the stories end well… Ever notice?