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Confessions of A Breadwinner
Much has been written about how hard the life of a stay-at-home parent is. It’s widely reputed to be about the hardest job out there.
CBS’ Early Show host Erica Hill has some interesting things to say about the challenges of being on the other side of that divide. Her husband stayed home with their son for two years while Erica continued working. Being the breadwinner meant giving up a lot of time with her family, and also a lot of control of their home life.
While Hill’s husband juggled changing diapers and social scorn for his decision to stay home, she got a heaping helping of mommy guilt. Shouldn’t she be at home with her baby?
Hill found her happy place when she learned to let go of the details and focus on what really matters to her: having fun with her kid. As she says of their wonderfully imperfect life:
I did, however, slowly learn to give up control and to embrace my time at home. I learned to be mostly okay with not being the main cook or house keeper. A perfectly folded fitted sheet doesn’t make me a good mother. Making a fort out of a sheet for my son is far more important and a much better use of my time. I know that getting to the gym, meeting a girlfriend for lunch or getting my haircut is not going to ruin my children for life. It could ultimately make everyone happier but cutting back on my stress level. And learning to accept my role in our family – however unconventional it may be – will only make me a better mother.
How do you strike the balance between parenting and the rest of your life? It’s a juggling act every parent has to do, whether or not they work outside the home.
Photo: CBS
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blue commented on Jul 20 10 at 5:03 pmThe acceptance of housekeeping imperfection, the prioritizing of fun, and guilt-free “me time” sounds about right for all parents, stay-at-home or working.
Bean's Mom commented on Jul 21 10 at 9:30 amI am a full-time career woman with a husband who works at home part-time and takes care of the children. For me, housekeeping imperfections was never much of an issue because I have always been kind of a messy person anyway. Guilt, however, is something I struggle with a lot. Like Ms. Hill, it’s hard for me to allow myself to go to the gym or meet up with girlfriends because I feel that I am already away enough rfom the kids as it is. And though I am pretty secure about my children’s love for me, I can help but feel a little bad when my daughtr runs to daddy instead of me for consolation. I also feel guilty when I see my husband taking on so many household chores; it’s hard for me to accept the fact that the roles are reversed, soit is okay for him to cook and do the dishes because after a long time at work, it is now my turn to spend time with the children. I do feel that having this kind of arrangement in which the mom works and the dad stays home is good in other ways, however. In spite of all the neuroses that emerge, both my husband and I are pretty sensitive about what the other is going through because both of us have had the opportunity to be a stay-at-home parent and a full-time employee. We probably don’t take each other’s role for granted as much as couples do in more conventional arrangements. Also, I like it that we are being good role models for our children in that we are showing them that men and women do not have to be constrained by traditional social roles.
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