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Leading British Fertility Doctor Says Women Should Have Children While Still in Their Twenties
Remember last week’s news about the so-called menopause test, the simple blood draw that will allow a woman to determine her fertility deadline?
Not so fast, says a leading British fertility doctor.
Dr. Gedis Grudzinskas, a top London IVF practitioner, told the UK Guardian that he believes the menopause test is just another way of giving women false hope that they will be able to conceive will minimal assistance as they age.
As Grudzinskas tells the Guardian, not only is the test being oversold, fertility levels are only one component to a successful pregnancy, as the quality of many women’s eggs declines with age. Even assuming a test that could give one the exact date one will reach menopause or how many eggs will still has, “we’re not at the stage we’re a test can tell you how those eggs will function. The number of eggs does not mean the eggs or healthy and normal.”
Moreover, Grudzinskas says he believes many women have a misplaced faith in the fertility industry, something he blames in part on the recent trend of 40something celebrities giving birth, with no one asking whether the children were conceived by donor eggs. “Where do we learn about fertility? TV, the Internet, these fabulous pictures of women in their 40s in Hollywood walking around with babies. Everybody assumes they’re genetically theirs, but they’re not necessarily.”
Grudzinskas says there is no treatment that is “insurance against infertility” and that he would like to see society change so that women can have children in their twenties without damaging their future career prospects.
I have to confess there is a part of me that agrees with the controversial doctor. The fertility industry has become the last place where American women are being sold the myth of having it all. The truth is, of course, more complicated. A decent percentage of us will be able to conceive children with little effort in our late thirties and early to mid forties. Another group of us will be able to do so but with, er, assistance. But many of us, no matter what technology we look into, no matter how many rounds of IVF we endure, will not get pregnant at all.
Yet as someone who had her children the old-fashioned way in her thirties, I am all too aware that taking advantage of certain opportunities permanently closes the door to others, especially for women. It’s not fair and we know it. Ever since the birth of Lousie Brown in 1978, we’ve looked to the fertility industry to fix the injustices of biology and the workplace. It has been an imperfect solution, at best.
Perhaps it’s time to move on. Maybe it is a feminist position to point out, like Grudzinkas says, that women are most likely to get pregnant and give birth to healthy babies in their twenties, not their thirties, forties and beyond. Instead of looking to science to make things equal for us, we need to ask society to accommodate our biology instead.
Perhaps the right to our fertility on our biological timeline is the final feminist frontier.
What do you think?
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[...] Leading British Fertility Specialist Says Women Should Have Children in Their Twenties [...]
Meet the Original Grandparents | Strollerderby commented on Jul 16 10 at 12:11 pm[...] the book How to Get Pregnant, points out that up to 80 percent of infertility cases are caused by increased maternal age. “It’s hard to call infertility a disease. It’s normal aging,” he told [...]
The High Cost of IVF | Strollerderby commented on Jul 23 10 at 11:20 am[...] Leading British Fertility Specialist Says Women Should Have Children in Their Twenties SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: "The Parenting Wisdom of Betty Draper from Mad Men", url: "http://blogs.babble.com/strollerderby/2010/07/23/the-parenting-wisdom-of-betty-draper-from-mad-men/" }); Comments: (2) Tags: betty draper, Helaine Olen, January Jones, mad men, Mad Men bad mothering, Mad Men bad parenting, mad men betty draper « « Flip Flop Ban, Oil Spill Outrage, and More Should Insurance Cover IVF? » » [...]
The Parenting Wisdom of Mad Men's Betty Draper | Strollerderby commented on Jul 23 10 at 6:46 pmbob commented on Jul 09 10 at 10:34 amIt would be enormously tricky to coordinate, but I can imagine a world where everyone raises their kids’ kids by default. Women would give birth in their twenties and hand the babies off to their financially-established 40-something grandparents to raise, and each successive generation does likewise.
Mistress_Scorpio commented on Jul 09 10 at 10:53 amI don’t know nothin bout breastfeeding no grandbabies…
bob commented on Jul 09 10 at 10:56 amI did say it would be tricky!
jenny tries too hard commented on Jul 09 10 at 11:09 amAmen, Scorpio!
Seriously, the way I see it, it’s a lot easier to start a career at 30 than to start a family at 30, and in fact it might be better to start a career at 28 or 33 than 22…to me, it makes more sense for women to get married youngish and have their families first, if they’re committed to staying home, and then either go to college or start their careers then. I know it wouldn’t work for everyone, but I’m fairly happy with my results…of course, I married a guy several years older, so there’s that.
I did things on the extreme end of “young”; I got married and had my first two kids at 18; had my daughters at 20 and 22, so I squished in National Guard and school in the first few years but was able to spend a lot of waking time with my kids, and only started to focus on my career after my older daughter was born, and focus on acquiring the business after my younger daughter was born…but if someone got married at 20 or 22 and had kids at 24, 26, and 28, she could start her career (as opposed to part-time work) with a clearer idea of her goals and the knowledge that she wouldn’t have to drop out of it to have her babies.
Jen commented on Jul 09 10 at 11:09 amI wasn’t ready for kids in my 20s. I didn’t even meet my husband until I was 28. I would not do it over again because I have a stable life in which to raise children rather than having run after my bio. clock and settling. I always did realize that I might not have children of my own if I waited too long. I always figured it would be better to have no children than raise them in the same kind of messed up home I grew up in.
msjmom commented on Jul 09 10 at 11:10 amI don’t think this is always about putting off pregnancy due to work. And Dr. Grudzinskas seems to make the assumption that every woman is partnered/in a reasonably stable relationship in her 20s. This is just my experience but I was more than happy to start a family in my 20s – but I had a really hard time finding a guy who wanted the same thing then. It wasn’t until my early 30s that I met someone who wanted to go ahead, get married and have kids at that point in time. And he’s a great dad!
wohm commented on Jul 09 10 at 11:33 amJen, I totally agree with you. All of this advice overlooks the important point you made – who is ready to choose their partner in their early 20′s? And a somewhat older mom, on average, is more willing to sacrifice for her children in smart ways. Women in their 20′s just don’t “see” as much as older women, I think our brains are still somewhat immature. I think it’s better for the kids, but worse for the moms to have children in our 30′s.
g8grl commented on Jul 09 10 at 1:20 pmFrom a biological standpoint this Doc might be right but from a societal standpoint I think he’s missing the boat. Unless like Jenny, you’re willing to marry someone older and financially established, a couple of twentyish kids having babies is almost a recipe for disaster. How many twenty year olds can support a spouse and children? Financial problems are bad for kids and bad for relationships. Add to that the volatility of temperment in many twenty year olds and the whole thing is problematic. I was very happy to have my children later when I was financially secure and my moods were not so mercurial.
BlackOrchid commented on Jul 09 10 at 1:46 pmIt’s all on us girls, isn’t it? Perhaps, perhaps we marry later because our male peers are enjoying a loooooong teenage-ish singlehood well into their 30s? Perhaps?
Also I hate how we are always only talking about EGG QUALITY. Guess what? Sperm quality is important too, and there are lots of guys who are older and have crap sperm. Or varicocities or other physical problems, or have done too many drugs (affects sperm), mountain bikers, etc.
The assumption is, procreation is the exclusive province and responsibility of women, it seems like. We somehow control all – our male peers, our bodies, their bodies, our employers, our careers, our incomes, etc. etc. etc.
You know what I think? I think in a few generations we won’t even have children this way anymore for the most part, and the whole thing will be moot.
Angela Gail from firsttimesecondtime.com commented on Jul 11 10 at 10:00 pm@BlackOrchid I second that, and I really love a male fertility doc telling me that I should get pregnant in my 20s. I should probably also stay barefoot in the kitchen if I really want to do it right.
20something commented on Jul 13 10 at 10:39 amGuess what? Women in their 20s can meet a partner, get married, and have children. The median age for having a first child is still 25 in this country. Just because YOU weren’t ready doesn’t mean it can’t be done. Turning 30 isn’t a magical number that gives you a sudden ability to ‘sacrifice’ and ‘see’ so that you can be a better parent, that’s just silly. Choosing to wait is exactly that, a CHOICE. Doesn’t give you the right to sit on your high horse and throw down judgments about women who make a choice to have children at a younger age.
Robin commented on Sep 28 10 at 8:07 pmComments
> The median age for having a first child is still 25 in this country<
Yes. because teens have a bunch of unplaned pregnancies and skew the numbers down. How many 20 something men are ready to marry let alone be fathers, and have the $$ to support them. Give me a break!
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