My daughters were desperate to take ballet class. But, after a few lessons, when it was time to go to class, they suddenly didn’t feel so well. They seemed to have fun when they were there, but they insisted they didn’t want to keep going.  What to do?

Do I force them to attend a class they don’t want to take? Or do I let them quit something they’ve started? Neither alternative was very appealing.

Ultimately, we came to an agreement. They would continue going to classes until the semester ended, but I wouldn’t sign them up for another class unless they were sure they were ready to commit. Luckily, they were good sports about it.

I realize I had it relatively easy. They enjoyed the class and it wasn’t a hardship for them to finish the semester. But what happens when a class or activity is making a kid miserable?

Lisa Boone recently writes about this dilemma in The Los Angeles Times. Boone’s 7-year-old son begged to sign up for tackle football and she reluctantly agreed to sign him up.

Then, after 13 weeks of screaming and berating by one of the coaches — and a nearly perfect record I should point out — my son did what his gut told him to do: He quit. “It’s not fun,” he said wearily.

In that case, Boone had to agree that the activity itself was problematic. The training was much too intensive  (five nights a week!) for her young son and the coach was less than supportive.

But there are lots of reasons why kids quit: social pressures, not feeling as if they’re good enough, laziness, you name it. Sometimes kids quit because there is too much pressure to succeed and they’re not having a good time.

As a parent, sometimes it seems as if you can’t win. If you force your kid to do an activity, they’ll grow up to resent you for it. If you let them quit, they’ll wish you had made them continue.

A recent study suggests that there are times when kids should quit, says Billy Strean, who has been studying kids and coaches for almost 20 years as a professor in the University of Alberta’s Faculty of Physical Education and Recreation.

Although Strean is speaking about sports, his advice could apply to any activity when he says that parents should assess the activity and the teacher/coach and “trust their instincts when a child wants to quit.”

One of the problems is that kids today are so over-committed to so many activities and the activities themselves can be pretty demanding.

As Boone points out, children are asked to commit to activities as an early age. My 8-year-old occasionally frets that she’s not really focused on one sport or activity. In fact, after the dance class ended last spring, she hasn’t signed up for any classes. And that’s just fine. It leaves her more time to play, which is just what an 8-year-old needs.

And next time she and her little sister want to sign up for a class or sport, I plan to make sure they know what they’re getting into.

Photo: http://www.flickr.com/photos/gracewong/

Tweet

0

Pin It

Go Back To Strollerderby

0 Comments

Add your take:

Note: Babble is a supportive, diverse community. We encourage a range of opinions,
but any unduly hostile comments will be removed.