I have real trouble believing that this wasn’t motivated by race. And speaking as a parent of an African-American child, most of the hair products we use in our daughter’s hair smell awesome– I can’t imagine finding any of them objectionable.

Not knowing any more about this situation than whats here, I have to say, some people are all too quick to cry race. Some hair products have strong smells, but it was very unprofessional and inappropriate to make the child leave, no matter her discomfort.

What I’d like to know is what is the little girl learning when she’s sitting at home because the teacher has trouble with the product? Why couldn’t they just find a different lotion for her hair, and send her back? If the child is so aware of the race implications, surely she’d have told them if there were other slights.

This just seems like an act of poor judgement blown all out of porportion to me.

My husband used to use the product pictured here, and it smelled pretty good. It does have a strong smell, but it’s insane for the teacher to behave like this. I have taught students that smell AWFUL from lack of basic hygiene, etc. and you know what? I sucked it up. She’s supposed to be a professional. It seems obviously racially insensitive. I feel so bad thinking of that poor girl’s feelings.

I once worked at a large corporate office building. There was an intern that wore vanilla perfume. I love vanilla candles, ice cream etc. but this girl drenched herself in it. When I walked off the elevator each morning I could tell she was there and there were over 150 cubicles on the floor. The smell made me vomit so often and I couldn’t eat. After about a month I approached her about it and burst into tears. She was my subordinate but I didn’t want to hurt her feelings but I had to tell her how it was making me feel and could she please stop with the perfume. She hugged me and apologized. NOW I had it all over me too. Anyway the next days and weeks she kept wearing it. It was truly awful. After about six months she was transferred to another floor in another dept. I was so relieved. The smell caused me not only nausea, vomiting etc but personal anxiety about going to work. I understand it if this is what that teacher was experiencing. People are so quick to pull out the damn race card at every opportunity.

I love how people are more concerned with “the race card” being pulled than interested in how racial insensitivity and outright bias could negatively affect a child. It is now more of an issue to have an action called “racist” than to behave in a racially insensitive manner.

hey, M_S, I thought that you were on babble hiatus? Couldn’t resist the siren song? =) Did you have your baby yet?

I took about a month off. Baby’s coming end of July. Yes, I checked back out of curiosity, no sirens… :)

First, who called the teacher racist? The father wrote an article and at most, asserted his opinion that he found *the action* either racist or an expression of racial insensitivity. It is not only fathomable, but *likely* even that a person who is NOT racist may at some point commit an action or say something that may be received as such. It’s part of learning to live in a diverse society, and the way that race tends to be a taboo topic even among people with the best of intentions, it’s no wonder that blunders happen.

But nowadays you have to be in full white hood with burning cross in hand for people to even consider that an action, even inadvertently, could be received as racist or insensitive.

Rather than, gee, I don’t know… offering the little girl and her parents a sincere apology for the insensitively handled situation, not one of those “I’m sorry you took it that way,” BS non-apologies, the school decided to take no action. To me, that simply makes a bad situation worse, hoping that in not addressing it, the aggrieved party will just go away.

Now, ChiLaura, I have to say your reaction perfectly exemplifies my original comment. It’s all concern for the job prospects and future of a teacher with not an iota of concern for a child whose self-worth took a mighty blow. We are all concern for the children in other circumstances, but once race enters the picture, everything is suspect. Everyone condemns the actions of the teacher and realizes the situation could be handled better, but holy hot damn, the girl’s father questions whether there was a racial aspect to the situation and it becomes, eff the child, think about the poor, poor adult (who should have known better) but still, how awful for her (cue tiny violins here)!!.

Now for you to throw around language of “burning” and “lynching” as a means of elevating the teacher’s interests over that of a child… I’d say that is pretty racially tone-deaf of you. As a person of color I have become so accustomed to hearing such proclamations and letting them roll off. But now I have children that I have to raise and explain these things to, and I’m increasingly unwilling to let people, even with good intentions and “not a racist bone in their body” get away with saying things of that nature and not responding to it.

M_S: Here’s hoping for your sake that the summer is not too hot. Best wishes with the remainder of the pregnancy.

Agreed that the school behaved deplorably. Not alerting the girl’s parents that she was moved from an advanced class to a lower one is reason enough for anger, for whatever reason.

Re: the father’s statement, the following makes me angry: “Meaning, a dog’s hair gives the teacher less problems than my daughter’s human but curly hair.” The issue is the hair product, not his daughter’s hair. He is changing the terms of the problem to his advantage.
Re: the concern for the teacher: I guess I prefer “Innocent until proven guilty” rather than the inverse. And “guilty until proven innocent” is exactly what happens when the media gets ahold of this sort of incident. You’re free to paint anyone who says, “hey there’s more than one version of what happened” as a racist, or defender of racists, but like I said above, the teacher will have this following her around for, well, awhile? Forever? Even if they find that she’s pregnant, has super-morning-sickness (hyperemesis?), has allergies AND the pollen was really flyin’ that day, no one’s going to hear about it. From here on out, she’s just going to be “that racist teacher.”

I would argue that saying that an action is “racist” necessarily says that the person is racist as well. I consider “racially insensitive” to be less a reflection on the person performing the action and more a statement about the action itself. But maybe that’s just semantics.

And speaking of semantics: I used those words intentionally. Note, I said “burned at the stake,” as in witch hunt or heresy. As in, doing anything PERCEIVED BY the liberal left as racist (sexist, homophobic, whatever) is heresy from today’s lovely dogma of forced tolerance (which has come to mean “acceptance”) and is cause for being burned at the stake (and how many innocents were burned?).

FWIW, my main influence on all matters racial is my “person of color” husband. Who is sick to death of people of color crying wolf and blaming all of their own problems on racism. Which he considers to be a problem, but hardly THE problem. He’s sick of people thinking that he’s only acheived what he has because of affirmative action, which they do. None of which may mean anything to you, and you, like others, are free to consider him a self-hater, and me a racist; that’s your prerogative. I would argue that we actually are “racially sensitive,” though we’re not “racially hypochondriac.”

Incidentally, where’s the elementary named after Clarence Thomas, only the second Supreme Court Justice? Oh, wait, he doesn’t get any because he’s an Uncle Tom, right? Like I said, liberal heresy.

ChiLaura: Thanks for the pregnancy well wishes.
Like you perceived the father’s statement about the dog hair one way, I perceived it as the point of view of a little girl explaining to her father that “the teacher said she’s allergic to my hair, but Daddy, she has a dog!” I consider what an 8 year old knows and comprehends about allergic reactions, and think of how that child might interpret it. The father didn’t accuse the teacher of having a dog, his daughter informed him of this, thinking it was somehow relevant to how the teacher was made sick over her hair, as SHE the child, understood it. I too, would be enraged if someone, especially an educator, humiliated my child in that manner.
“Innocent until proven guilty” applies if the facts were in dispute. The facts of this situation are not in dispute, the motives are. You’ve said you are in agreement that the facts… child removed from advanced class, put in hallway, then placed in lower level class, parents not informed… is reason enough for anger. Also a fact, to the parents at least, but I would also give this consideration to an 8 year old, is how the child interpreted her removal and the reasons why. BUT here is where the school could have ended the whole story… by apologizing. “I am so sorry, this is a complete misunderstanding, would like the opportunity to make it clear to you and your child that this was not about her personally.” The father says no one, not the school, not the district would answer his questions… the school says, for fear of legal action. Well, hell, that doesn’t quite pass the smell test of innocence now does it? I get that people are vengeful and litigious. I think that had the father really been all that vengeful, we’d all know the name of this teacher… but we don’t. Did a Google search… came up empty. So the taint of racism destroying her future hasn’t quite settled yet, has it? And I think that a parent has every right to have their questions answered exhaustively in a situation when their child is purposefully or inadvertently humiliated by her educator.
I’d be interested in how you could argue that an action being called racist, is calling the person a racist. And why you think “racially insensitive” speaks more to the action. I agree that it is an argument over semantics, but I hold that words matter. The father didn’t call the teacher a racist, bottom line.
I know you used your words with intention. And while I’d like to cry a river over the dilemma of “forced tolerance,” I prefer to be able to raise my child in a society that increasingly frowns upon those expressing or acting upon bigoted views. (Notice I didn’t say “holding.”) Problem is, the bigots don’t want to be frowned upon… they want to be able to express and act upon those views without being held in contempt for them… and whine when they are called on it or punished for it. It’s not worth much to the argument in my opinion to inform me that you’re married to a person of color. If he is your influence, good for you. In short, so what? It doesn’t prove he is self-hating and or you a racist, nor does it prove that you are not. You don’t get credit, or a pass. I have also had the experience of people thinking my accomplishments were due to some sort of affirmative action, but if they express such to me, they are quickly disabused of that notion. It comes with the territory of being a person of color in this world. If that’s the ultimate example of what he’s had to bear, then that’s another river I’m not prepared to cry either. Either way, I’m going to hold you, and others responsible for the words you use. You used them to be provocative, I say they were in poor taste and racially tone-deaf. You don’t want to be judged for something you did purposefully, take offense to being called on it, imply I called you or think you are a racist, play the PoC mate card (aka, the “I have a black friend” card)… I wish I could say it was my first time at this dance, but it’s not and I could do the steps in my sleep.
I don’t know why Clarence Thomas doesn’t have a school named after him. Maybe ’cause he ain’t dead yet? I didn’t know liberals were in charge of all matters related to schools… they better get on that Texas thing, stat.

I had no expectations of even of influencing your view of the situation, so I am glad that we can agree on some aspects of this situation. I too, accept that we won’t agree on all other things, and that is as it should be, isn’t it? I find it much more interesting to debate my point of view with someone who doesn’t agree with me, as it forces me to examine what I hold to be self-evident.
So you are aware, I am also annoyed when I hear race used as a reason for people to excuse their own bad behavior… just this week, my ex-stepfather tried to use how hard life was for him as a black man to excuse his physical abuse and eventual abandonment of my mother for his mistress. (That went over not. at. all. with myself and my siblings.) All too often, race is used as an attempt to duck full responsibility for something or the other and it irritates me exactly because it casts doubt on legitimate claims. You were right when you pointed out this as a trend.
I don’t think you are a bigot and I take no offense to anything you said. I too, have used words that could be considered insensitive to a minority class, and I continue to work on that. I’m ashamed to say that the drive to do this work was having a child… I should have been motivated to do better on my own. Some of that means responding to what I feel to be insensitive speech, but it doesn’t mean I need to be obnoxious about it. I was not offended and even if I were, it wasn’t an excuse for me to be uncivil about it, therefore I offer an apology for my obnoxious responses.
Best wishes to you and yours, ChiLaura. I hope no one crosses your mama bear in the future, they’ll rue the day. :)

M_S: Thanks for the reply. I found your responses to be forceful, but not obnoxious. And I’m okay with the justified use of force. =) I too appreciate the exchange of ideas, even if the discussion becomes heated. I feel, too, that a lot of words exchanged on the internet would be softened if the people involved were actually speaking face-to-face, so I try to read with that in mind; I have a feeling that most people wouldn’t be as “obnoxious” in person as they are on-line. I actually have found you quite funny and incisive in your babble comments, and “funny” is one of my top virtues. Thanks again for sharing your perspective. Best wishes.