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It’s Time for Full Disclosure in Adoption
Back when I was adopted, in 1968, psychiatrists generally believed that children were a blank slate and that a loving family could overcome any problems that might arise. That’s how they justified concealing the biological family’s medical history. In my case, for instance, the agency neglected to tell my parents that I had an identical twin sister and that our birth mother suffered from schizophrenia. But that’s another story.
Times have changed and experts now realize that genetics play a role in shaping children — as do the first crucial months of life. It is in the best interest of potential adoptive families to know the full back story before they commit to adopting a child.
Following a glut of lawsuits in the 1980s and 90s against adoption agencies over failure to disclose a child’s circumstances, many states enacted disclosure laws. Similar requirements were ratified in the Hague Convention, which requires agencies to disclose “reasonably available” records.
But that didn’t help Chip and Julie Harshaw of Virginia Beach, who adopted their son Roman from Russia in 2004 only to discover he had severe emotional problems. He threatened their 5-year-old biological daughter with a knife and tried to hold her underwater.
The New York Times reported yesterday that the Harshaws are suing the agency, Bethany Christian Services, seeking compensation for Roman’s care. Roman, who was diagnosed with fetal alcohol spectrum disorder, brain damage and neuropsychiatric problems, is now at an institution, but they hope to eventually bring him home.
Although the Harshaws say that they wouldn’t have adopted the boy if they had known how severely disabled he was, they are now committed to raising him (unlike the Tennessee woman who recently sent her adoptive son back to Russia).
After Roman’s problems were diagnosed, the agency offered to end the adoption, but the Harshaws refused. “He’s not a dog; you don’t take him to a pound,” Ms. Harshaw said.
When will adoption agencies realize that it’s in the best interest of the prospective parents and the child to disclose as much information as possible? The goal in adoption shouldn’t just be finding families for children who need them, but rather finding the best suited families to care for each specific child’s needs.
What do you think?
Photo: Sparklers Projects Russian Children Resources
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[...] I’ve written before on Strollerderby, it’s time for full disclosure in adoption. But full disclosure doesn’t mean presenting a child with information he or she never [...]
Adopted Children Stalked on Facebook | Strollerderby commented on May 26 10 at 10:36 ampatricia commented on Apr 28 10 at 2:35 pmPaula, your story is amazing! Thanks for sharing.
Beth commented on Apr 28 10 at 6:47 pmI’m thrilled to see your insightful commentary on this, Paula.
Bernie commented on Apr 28 10 at 6:56 pmComments: When we adopted you, bad stories concerning adoptions were really never publicized. We had so many frieds who were adoptive parents and aside from “normal” kid stuff all seemed very happy. Hearing all the recent news, your Mom and I wonder whether we were just lucky that your brother, also adopted, and you turned out so wonderfully well. I guess we will never know, so we will just take the credit.
Marilyn commented on Apr 28 10 at 7:08 pmComments: Now the “horror” stories are coming out. When we adopted 44 and 41 years ago, it was pretty routine for agencies not to give out any information. We were told a couple of medical facts (very benign to say the least) and we went merrily on our way. What would we have done, if we were told more? Who knows, but I’m glad we made our decision to adopt our two children as they are wonderful human beings and have given us much joy. Would we have returned them? NEVER! We would have tried to get them as much help as they needed.
snow commented on Apr 29 10 at 12:16 pmI don’t want to sound harsh but…instead of looking for children in foreign countries try adopting kids from your own country. We have thosands of children here in the states and you want pick a kid from over seas.Just cause celebraties do it doesn’t make it cool, it shows them as inconsiderate human beings overlooking kids right under their plastic surgery noses.
LilySilver commented on Apr 29 10 at 12:58 pmSnow, from your comment I assume you have adopted from the U.S. foster system then? Congratulations. I’m happy to know it was a good fit for you and that your family is larger and happier for it. That’s wonderful! Most adoptive parents I know have considered all the options carefully. Do you really think that thousands of people (myself included) opt to spend tens of thousands of dollars and the time and effort to adopt overseas as a fashion statement? Most adoptive parents don’t have the resources of Angie & Brad. We have researched and considered our options at great length. Some feel a calling to a particular place. Others (like me) have investigated the U.S. foster system and found that it is not the right choice for them. It’s not a rejection of “kids right under my plastic surgery nose”. It is a difficult system to work within, at best. With other kids in the home, it was a strain I couldn’t sign up for at that particular time. Whatever the reasons, and in any case, when a child from any country finds a family I think it’s reason to rejoice, not judge. It’s a joyful thing; I am puzzled why anyone would choose to get angry about it.
Tracy S. commented on Apr 29 10 at 5:24 pmComments Our Foreign adoption in 1997 from Russia went absolutely perfect. But no one hears those stories. We adopted overseas because, due to my husbands health issues, no US agencies would work with us. How many foreign adoptions go wrong compared to the ones that go right?
kamsmom commented on May 03 10 at 2:09 pmMy best friend just adopted brothers through DCF. I agree 100%. She has had what little history the biological mother gave DCF. But it was enough for the doctors after 3 years to finally diagnose her son with VCFS. The Harshaws should be commended for staying with their commitment in this adoption. I do not fault them for stating they would not have adopted him if they had known. They have the best interest of other children to consider in their home. If full disclosure had been done then Roman could have been placed with a family who completely understood what his past was. And made accomodations from the start for his emotional and physical care. GOD BLESS all of them. I will pray that Roman can come home and live a happy life filled with love.
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