[...] Film Questions Right and Wrong in Parenting [...]

[...] It’s official: judging other mothers isn’t a uniquely American — a uniquely Western — thing. It’s universal. As is a mother’s interest in how other women take care of their kids. Oh, and no matter where you’re from, having your kid run with cows IS a bit frightening. [...]

OMG. Must. SEE.

Can’t wait for this movie. It reminds me a little of a documentary some Princeton education students made years ago called “Preschool in Three Cultures.” That was awesome too. I often think of the Japanese preschool when I’m feeling mean for letting my kids resolve their own differences.

Ha…never mind parents, my kids watched this trailer and immediately after the “Awww…babies!” came the pronouncements of bad parenting. “Mom, that baby needs a timeout…Mom, it’s not safe to ride a motorcycle with a baby in your arms…Mom, what if the chicken poops on the baby…Mom why are they letting the baby grab the dog’s nose…Mom, that baby is wandering off!”

I can’t wait to see this. Just from the trailer, I loved how similar the babies from different cultures are, regardless of parenting. Kids bite, pull hair, love animals, experiment, explore, and look at the world with wide eyes and wonder. What a peaceful message.

Aaaaaaaaand… let the judging begin! Ever hear of a little thing called “context?” Any idea why the parents spanked their child? No? Neither do I, because the movie hasn’t come out yet. But perhaps could it possibly be because the alternative to spanking was, I don’t know, death (going too near a cliff? Trying to touch the burning hot stove that is the only source of heat?)? I don’t condone spanking as a rule, but in certain circumstances it might be warranted. And we don’t know what the circumstances are in this case so to already go about judging parents you don’t know in a situation you don’t even know anything about is completely and totally ridiculous.

I have to say, the decision to boycott a documentary film on the subject of parenting because you perceive some of its content to be reprehensible, is surprising and narrow-minded, especially when made by a reader of a magazine for a ‘new generation of parents’.

Firstly, to believe that a documentary film is unequivocally condoning all of its content, when the genre’s most powerful and groundbreaking offerings frequently demonstrate shocking or controversial images and ideas, shows a misunderstanding of the meaning of ‘documentary’ film. At the same time, dismissing the validity of such a film in the discussion of parenting and early development comes across as obstinate and ignorant.

The general view in our culture, that spanking and other such physical reprimands are unjustifiable and shocking, is a relatively recent perception that took years of discussion to be considered the norm. The transition of spanking as ‘acceptable’ to ‘frown-worthy’ parenting practice, was only taking place as I was growing up. My parents still remember that when my older sister and I were toddlers, spanking was considered an acceptable method of discipline. Although it was regarded as an extreme last resort, it was a decision generally considered to be at the discretion of the parents. They then vividly remember the shift to the social perception that any physical disciplining was considered reprehensible and how that only a few years later, they felt afraid of even picking us up too roughly in public, for fear of reprimand.

This development in what is considered to be ‘acceptable’ parenting, only happened in our lifetime, and in only some Western cultures. Many, many things that we consider to be ‘right’ and ‘moral’ are a result of our cultural and social environment, and to believe otherwise is both uneducated and naive. The topic of parenting is universal. This documentary opens a window onto interpretations of parenting in other cultures. For someone who presumably feels that they take an active part in the discussion, the decision to discount the opportunity to understand the reasoning behind any alternative points of view is tragically ill-considered.

Understanding that there are differences and understanding the differences are not the same thing.