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Strollerderby
10 Foods You Should Never Let Your Kid Eat
Parents are hypocrites. We seek to ingrain the best eating habits in our kids, yet we wake up at midnight and hork an entire box of Girl Scouts cookies (Tag-a-Longs, you’ll be the death of me!) Sure, we indulge because we’re adults and life sucks when you’re an adult, so yeah we’ll be having the deep fried cheesecake. Perhaps we let our kids have a bit of the naughty foods, but here are some doozies collected by Momlogic, from liquid cereal to gravy-filled bowls of “whatthehellisthat?” that children (and maybe even adults) should never wrap their lips around.
The Famous Bowl
Hi, KFC. We haven’t talked in awhile, but I was just wondering–WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?! Someone is the KFC test kitchen got really lazy one day and said, “hey, let’s just toss everything me make into a bowl. Oh, and let’s melt a pound of cheese over it.” This frightening mash of chicken fingers, corn, mashed potatoes, gravy and cheese is sadly KFC’s most popular item.
Runner Up: The KFC Double Down. It’s a chicken sandwich in which the bread is replaced by fried chicken. If they don’t serve them in your area be thankful.
Liquid Cereal
“a combination of real cereal and fat-free milk blended into a satisfying beverage.” Mmm, tastes like the future. You know, the future in which all food comes in liquid form. I’m looking forward to a frothy glass of Bacon Cheeseburger for lunch.
iHop Whoville Pancakes
I’d say this is a sad attempt to pass off a dessert item as a meal, but even hot fudge sundaes have more restraint. Don’t try to drag the good Dr.’s name into this for justification. You added a tootsie pop as a garnish!
Chicken Nuggets
See the picture? That’s what “chicken” looks like before it’s pressed into nugget form. Soft serve chicken. Sorry to ruin nuggets for you.
Mess with Your Mouth Lunchables
I just…I can’t…I don’t get it. I understand the concept of Lunchables. Highly processed meat, tiny squares of cheese and crackers. Where do sour Pop Rocks-like sprinkles fit in? They don’t. If kids want to eat food based on a dare, they can just go outside and eat worms.
Fin the full list here.
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14 Comments
patricia commented on Mar 10 10 at 11:58 amOn the topic of the KFC Famous Bowl: http://nymag.com/daily/entertainment/2007/05/patton_oswalt_takes_on_the_kfc.html
PlumbLucky commented on Mar 10 10 at 12:01 pmAnyone else just about vomit over the pre-nuggetted nuggets?
Cole commented on Mar 10 10 at 12:30 pmYes, Patton Oswalt made the end all be all statement of the Famous Bowl.
Crystal H. commented on Mar 10 10 at 12:37 pmI did get a bit drooly over the Whoville Pancakes…IHOP…
Manjari commented on Mar 10 10 at 1:16 pmThe chicken nugget picture is horrifying.
Eric commented on Mar 10 10 at 5:48 pmIf your kid is eating properly 90+% of the time, are any of these things really going to hurt them to eat once?
LogicalMama commented on Mar 10 10 at 6:13 pmhorrifying!
Laure68 commented on Mar 10 10 at 8:07 pmI have to side with Eric on this one. I don’t tend to say “never” to anything, unless it is something I just don’t enjoy.
PlumbLucky commented on Mar 11 10 at 8:07 amEven though I agree with you Eric, I still am gagging over that picture. Blech!
Eric commented on Mar 11 10 at 9:39 amOnce you’ve seen what the “advanced meat recovery” machine does to a cattle skull you’ll never look at a boullion cube the same way again. Forget the Native Americans using ‘every part,’ WE use EVERY PART. The garbage truck goes wanting at the slaughterhouse.
Louise commented on Mar 11 10 at 4:49 pmI also agree with Eric…I think declaring foods absolutely off-limits can be counter-productive.
And am I the only one that isn’t terribly grossed out by the chicken nugget paste? I mean, any food that’s ground up like that is going to look…not like the food in its original form. It doesn’t necessarily signal “bad for you.” Maybe it’s because I’m one of those big ol’ reductionist scientists that Michael Pollan rails against in “In Defense of Food.”
lamia commented on Mar 19 10 at 2:08 pmI was very disgussed by the nuggets picture, so i thought i should show it to my kids who are very fond of nuggets and they both suprisingly liked it.
cole commented on Mar 23 10 at 2:10 am@lamia: that’s probably because; A) kids dig gross stuff and B) that paste looks like ice cream.
Alison commented on Aug 24 11 at 3:34 pmLOL Lamia! Though I agree that in moderation this stuff won’t hurt you, it still is disgusting! I’d rather have my “splurge” food be delicious and made with real ingredients.
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