Strollerderby

School Bus Is a Nightmare for Divorced, Working Parents

Posted by jeannesager on March 9th, 2010 at 11:02 am

school bus 300x300 School Bus Is a Nightmare for Divorced, Working ParentsThe nature of the school bus is to  make life easier on parents, but the transportation situation to and from school is giving some parents major headaches.

The problem? Schools that are trying to save themselves some time and headaches by refusing to bus kids to different houses for after-school care or to satisfy custody arrangements. 

I’ve heard this headache from a number of parents over the years, but it’s become a major issue in one Florida town, where a mom is taking her fight to the newspapers to get some relief.

Divorced and sharing joint custody with her ex-husband, Diane Snyder told Florida Today that there’s a bus stop right by her house. But her fifteen-year-old can’t get off there because his “legal residence” is at his father’s home, five miles away. So every day that the boy is supposed to be sharing with his mom, Snyder is forced to drive out to get her son.

But it isn’t just kids of divorce who are getting caught up in the mix. It’s the kids of working parents too. The director of transportation told the newspaper:

“We get all kinds of requests for multiple bus stops, from ‘I want my kid to go to the aunt’s house today’ or ‘I need him to go to grandma’s on Tuesdays and Thursdays.’”

So do they help these parents out? No and no. The district says consistency is good for their kids, and they’ll only deviate if a child has “two legal homes,” a process that takes parents time and money in the court system. And one that won’t happen at all if they’re just trying to cobble together childcare.

Their reasoning is they can’t make concessions for everyone, but the question that begs to be asked is, why not?

Parents aren’t simply asking that their kids go to grandma’s on Tuesdays and Thursdays because they’re trying to give the school a headache. They’re trying to ensure their kids are cared for after school. And with the set up in almost every American school, which puts kids out on the streets well before a traditional work day is done, working parents need a little give from the school.

And the fact is, not every district is so strict. As a child my brother and I split our days between our home and our grandparents’ home. My parents wrote a letter to the school which was kept on file in the main office, the bus driver was given direction from the office, and we stuck to the schedule. There was no room for liability with my parents’ signatures on file, no room for error with the bus driver aware of what our schedule looked like.

If we were to go to someone else’s house for a sleep-over or for after-school care, my parents simply wrote another letter, which was sent to the main office, which again put it on file while they made up a form for another bus driver – a bus pass, which told him or her where to drop us off.

The fact is, schools are responsible for getting kids to and fro. Bus drivers are responsible for ensuring kids are being left with an adult or responsible older child when they open the doors and shoo them out.

It may be easier to say “no” to every request, but districts need to keep in mind that it’s their job to take care of kids. And that means working with parents not against them.

Image: Bill Ward Brickpile via flickr

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14 Comments

Seriously? You think that “schools are responsible for getting kids to and fro” to whichever destination a parent chooses on a given day? I think schools are responsible for providing an education, personally. I an only imagine what it might actually look like if students could come and go at any stop they chose. Think about it, Johnny wants to go hang out Sarah’s house or Auntie doesn’t know that Jeffrey was coming that day so he gets dropped off to an empty house. Maybe we should just offer a ride service so that kids can get to their Dentist appts too. Or they could stop for a loaf of bread on their way as well.

Bottom line is, until voters support schools financially, we will likely see a decrease in transportation options to begin with, and I, as a parent want school money to go to teaching. I sure as heck don’t want my kid to be allowed to get off at any stop they want.

Kyle commented on Mar 09 10 at 11:57 am

Kyle – there’s a difference between letting kids get off at any stop of THEIR choosing and letting them off at stops of their parents’ choosing. See above – regarding parental letters required.

jeannesager commented on Mar 09 10 at 11:59 am

My guess is once or twice a letter gets forged by students…just a guess. Talk about a logistical nightmare. If you worked in a school you would know the amount of calls that come in to the office with messages like “Tell Cindy that her mother is not done getting her hair done so she will need to go home with Sam until his babysitter gets there…” At what point to people step up and recognize that children are parents’ responsibilities, even if it is inconvenient to have to pick them up each day. This would be the same forum everyone will jump on to condemn a school for dropping a kid off at the wrong stop—we don’t get it both ways.

Kyle commented on Mar 09 10 at 12:18 pm

See the other Babble post on 4 day school weeks. These public schools are having a hard enough time just doing the basics. Now they’re expected to be the personal chauffers to every odd circumstance in people’s messy lives? Public schools are INSTITUTIONS, they’re not set up to be some flowy, accommodating service…why can’t they make concessions for everyone? Think about it! I swear, what is with this sense of entitlement and expecting all the world to bend over backwards for people’s every different “situation”?

GP commented on Mar 09 10 at 12:22 pm

Considering that my home district is ::this:: close to stopping all bussing save for special education students (this may be required by law for whatever reason?), in order to save money, what was the complaint again? We don’t live in an area with “neighborhood schools”, my son would have to walk across the freeway to get to his (eventual) school. They’re thinking savings…I’m thinking that we’ll be paying less in income taxes as one of us won’t be working in a professional job if this happens, eventually that has to wind up hurting the district in some form.
A permanent custody order, I’ll buy. That should be a given. I’m not buying the cobbled together care unless its a permanent pattern (just due to logistics, you’d have to have a new letter practically every day).

PlumbLucky commented on Mar 09 10 at 12:57 pm

I swear, what is it with expecting social services to support families in their different arrangements? Seriously, though, the situation described is so common, and so easily addressed, that it seems ridiculous not to make accomodations.

Huh? commented on Mar 09 10 at 1:02 pm

Thank God, I thought I was the only one with my head spinning after reading this. Seriously, the school district’s job is to take care of your kids??? Sorry, it’s their job to educate. That’s it. I worked in a private school where about half our kids were bussed because they lived within the city. We were constantly getting calls about, “can you send so and so on the bus today” or “tell so and so not to get on the bus.” My favorite was when a 1st grader would come up to me 2 minutes before the bell and say, “I don’t know how I’m getting home today.” People who don’t deal with these issues on a daily basis don’t have a clue of the logistics and the seriousness and the pressure of keeping all these children safe.

babymamaOH commented on Mar 09 10 at 1:36 pm

A 15 year old, okay, let him get on whichever bus, and get off at whichever stop. That shouldn’t be an issue, because a teenager who gets off the bus in the wrong area should have the basic life skills to find his or her way to home or somewhere else safe. But, when it comes to elementary schoolers, whom the bus driver is responsible for, there really only ought to be one arrangement. That’s probably a real pill in rural areas, but arranging for your kids to get to daycare or home is the parents’ job, not the school’s.

jenny tries too hard commented on Mar 09 10 at 1:57 pm

Comments
I’ve never heard of such a problem. In our area, our district’s transportation department uses Transfinder software. It allows the district to attach my children to my sister’s address where my kids often get on the bus when I have to go to work early. Usually this is just on Friday, but this software seems to let the dispatcher make a quick change if something comes up for me. It has literally never been a problem. Do your bus garages not have computers? I remember seeing a school mailing years ago that showed that using the software saved the district money. I get a letter every August with a bus pass for my kids. It shows their pick up locations (both my house and my sister’s) along with my children’s estimated stop times. Seriously I’m sort of shocked that this is even a problem for some people. It’s actually the least of my headaches.

Lisa S commented on Mar 09 10 at 2:17 pm

Lisa S – that system sounds like the millennium version of what we had as kids (with the written out passes), and proves that it doesn’t have to be such a huge issue for kids to have two drop off or pick up points. It CAN be done.

jeannesager commented on Mar 09 10 at 2:25 pm

“There was no room for liability with my parents’ signatures on file.” That was a different time. You would be surprised what people will sue for.

I’m with those who think this is not really something to complain about. She can’t drive 5 miles to pick up her kid? This part of Florida is very spread out. Five miles really is nothing.

Laure68 commented on Mar 09 10 at 3:00 pm

At the school where I work the issue with kids riding different buses each day isn’t liability, but room on the school buses. If there physically is not room on a school bus because several kids have switched, I don’t see how schools have any other option then to say that kids must ride only on one bus…

tanpopo commented on Mar 09 10 at 4:52 pm

I always rode the same bus home from school every day, but the bus driver didn’t care or notice where we got off, so any stop was fine.

Manjari commented on Mar 10 10 at 9:27 am

I am a parent in Texas and I have recently encountered a similar issue. I wanted to pick my child up from school, she had gotten on the bus and the driver told me that I could not take her for “safety reasons”. But they would trust a phone call or a note telling her to or not to get on the bus. I believe it was a racial concern because the driver didn’t seem to care until he saw that my daughter looked mexican and I was black. Not to mention the fact that I have never read in the school handbook nor the petermann transportation regulations that parents have to sigh a child off of the school bus. They called the cops on me stating that I abducted my own child!!!

outraged parent commented on Apr 29 10 at 1:18 pm

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