[...] Childless Marriages Don’t Last [...]

Living together led to MARRIAGE half the time, and another 30% were still living together – so the couples were still together roughly 80% of the time, or exactly the same percentage of the married couples who were still together. I don’t know if this is an oversight, intentional or just sloppy editing.

Childless marriages don’t last as long? Hmm, sounds like bullcrap to me. Ever hear of those recent studies about happiness levels in marriage? Most of them pointed to being childfree as a major component to having a happier marriage. You + hubby + infant + toddler + child + preteen + teen = less free/me time, less money to go around because most of it is spent on clothes and toys and food for the kids, less attention paid to each member of the family, more headaches trying to coordinate all the kids’ sports schedules, etc. On the other hand, You + hubby + no one else but a pet or two = much more time, money, and attention to lavish on whatever you feel like, be it a personal hobby or humanistic volunteering.

These stats have to be taken with a grain of salt, because they don’t control for religion. The most religious people are most likely to get married, then get pregnant and not divorce. But that isn’t to say they are actually any happier in their marriages.

Also – Roddma: These stats clearly DO take into account the people who get divorced after having children, 21 to 46% within ten years. The majority however do not.

people are people. the rate of divorce should be the same across the board, children or not. you’re either committed or you’re not. you either love your partner or you don’t. so the decreased rate of divorce for couples tells me that they are staying together for the kids. terrible, terrible reason. to me this study says kids trap you.

I am happy to report that my darling husband and I are the exception to this statistic. We have weathered the storm of infertility, ridden the wave of childlessness and come up gasping for air. But we are are still here and we are still together! And we are more in love than ever. Want some tips? We’ll be happy to share!

You included 15-year-olds and other teenagers in a study about marital vs. non-marital relationships? Seriously?

I think this author is taking liberties and making hasty generalizations based on flat data. I am in a very happy childless marriage. I absolutely agree that most people in unhappy marriages with children stay together “for the kids sake”. Most married couples will say they argue most about 1) Money and 2) Kids. I’d like to see how many married couples divorce once the kids are out of the house and they realize they have nothing in common anymore.

I find it hard to believe that childless marriages, particularly when that is planned, don’t last. My husband and I are about to celebrate 11 years. I was 36 & he 37 when we married. I can’t understand the notion that just because you have a uterus you have to use it – I had to justify my childless position for years and am glad I am out of child bearing age so people will quite asking me when I am going to have a baby.

Put this one in your studies….My husband and I were together three years before we married, we have been married with its ups and downs for seventeen years and we are about to celebrate our son’s first birthday. We waited 20 years for children so we could learn eachother and get through our wants and needs first…all is well and we love our son very much.

Sure, marriages with children may last longer…but it doesn’t mean they’re healthy marriages. My first marriage lasted six years and we split when our son was four. I hung in there as long as possible until I couldn’t take it anymore. Why? Our son. I didn’t work, had little support from anyone, and I didn’t want him to grow up in a broken home. However, a person can only take so much.

I remarried two years after my divorce, and we have been married for 9.5 years. This marriage is much healthier, much happier, and honestly…much easier! He does not have any children, we are not having any together (I am AMA anyway), and I have placement of my son. There IS a child in the household, but I receive outside help from the ex and that is a stress reliever. We also have free time to ourselves when my son visits his father–a big plus. I believe this marriage is “better” because we did not have a child. Granted, our situation would not be ideal anyway for a child given we have no family support, but still….I don’t HAVE to stay in this marriage. I make more than my husband, am very independent, and could break camp if the marriage went in the crapper. I CHOOSE to stay in this marriage, and that, in itself, says it all. Marriages with children sometimes feels they are “forced” to stay in a marriage for financial, moral, or religious reasons.

That study is a load of crap….My husband and I don’t have children and we’ve been togther for 27 years…..

I’m not sure that just because a couple is childless, that the marriage won’t last. What I do know is, that people today are much too selfish to work out a “bad marriage”. Almost everyone in today’s society is so into themselves and all want instant gratification. If someone doesn’t live up to their ideals, they check out and contact a divorce lawyer. People are simply “copping out”. No one wants to work hard on anything, let alone a marriage. There’s too much fun to be had. Life is short. They are still young. Etc, etc. Well guess waht? We are living MUCH longer than our ancestors, so stop with the poor excuses. Hardly anyone takes marriage seriously anymore. Women just want to focus on themselves and their careers and men are just sitting back and letting themselves become emmasculated. People have forgotten their natural born roles and that is a HUGE reason for all of this matrimonial demise. Having children used to be a blessing when you were MARRIED. All of these unplanned and illegitmate births, due to pre-marital sex, have only made things worse. Women need to stop and think before they jump in the sack with some guy and gain some self respect. They only cause more problems because they should be in control of their their bodies, but they aren’t. Women used to make the rules, now they just accept them. Women today are no stronger than their ancestors, they are far weaker. A STRONG woman made a man “work” for her affections. She didn’t just “give” them to anyone who looked her way, like most of today’s women. There was a reason a courtship was such a long process in the olden days. It was so a woman could CHOOSE a man worthy of her love. Nowadays, everyone is so focused on sex and non-commitment, because no one wants to “complicate” anyone elses’s life. Well look at our society now. Can’t get much more complicated than this. Grow up people. Stop being whiny, over-sexed, self-indulgent “victims”. Let’s all take some lessons from our Grandparents and learn the meaning of TRUE love and hard work.

I think this article is just trying to put the childless couples in general in a bad light – whether it’s by choice or circumstance that couples remain childless. My husband and I decided WAY before we married…and we didn’t live together beforehand…that we didn’t want children. I was 26 and he was 34 when we got married. 13 years later, we still don’t have kids and seem to be a happier couple than those couples who do have children. I wouldn’t change my way of life for anything at this point!

The bottom line is that BOTH partners in the marriage have to want to stay married. The children is one of the better excuses – but I’m certainly not going to fault the battered spouse with 3 kids who takes off before 10 years!

My husband and I made a choice to not have children. We’ve been married 21 years. We have the most loving and affectionate relationship of anyone I know. From many of the comments, a lot of childless couples feel the same way.

I agree, this study is a load of crap. My husband & I have been friends for
28 yrs., together for 25 yrs. & MARRIED WITHOUT CHILDREN for 20 yrs. That track record proves you don’t have to have kids to have a very happy marriage. We’re better off than every married with kids couple we know, we enjoy each others company & make each other laugh daily. Who did this study ???? Booo

My husband and I have been married for 32 years without children. We are the oldest of 3 children, babysat younger siblings and all the neighbors children. We are now having our childhood. We enjoy each others company, laugh a lot, and we have a lot of things in common. We never lived together, dated 7 months before we got engaged, then married 9 months later. We moved away from family so there was no family influence to our relationship. We learned to get through our problems as a couple.

Thanks to all the childless women who responded to this article! I married about 3 years ago, in my mid 30′s. My husband and I did not co-habitate before we married, and I had never lived with anyone else before we were married either. We have decided not to have children, which is good, as I recently found out I am likely unable, even if we change our minds (THAT’S not gonna happen!). Anyway, I want to thank those supportive and encouraging posters, as this is my first marriage, and I expect it to be the last. I sometimes worry we have made the wrong choice in not having children, but from all I have just read, we can be as happy as we imagine without offspring!

Or they just stayed together because they felt like they had to for the kids sake. Maybe they weren’t even happy.

PS to the Blogger:

People who don’t have kids might just be people who can’t have kids. One car accident and you are in our shoes. Wipe that smug smile off your face and go get a real job where you will not be allowed to write such insensitive crap.

i read this article because it made me upset. i am married. however, i am unable to have children. i had to have a hysterectomy when i was 36 yrs. old. i am now 40. i didn’t have a choice. i read the one comment that said these articles/studies need to be taken with a grain of salt…THEY SURE DO! i have been married for 4 yrs. i hope to be married until death parts us, as we all wish, i am sure. i was married before, in my 20′s. i started trying to have children at the age of 25. at the age of 32 i finally gave up. wanna know why i gave up like i did all of the sudden one day, just throwing the ovulation tests in the trash….? because my x-husband came home, i said, i am ovulating, he said, i don’t care, i don’t even want kids! and proceeded to walk down the hallway into the bedroom and take a nap. i never spoke to him about it again and he never spoke to me about it. i divorced him 2 yrs later. so, i dunno, seems as tho, he didn’t want the kids! so where does this fit in the study?