wow, you would think more than a sneaky baptism that won’t do any harm at all, except for give the grandparents peace of mind, would be necessary to prevent seeing their grandkids. i would say intoxication while caring for them, abuse in any way or lewdness in any way would be a more just cause. my mexican catholic step-grandma “baptized” my half-brother in the sink and when my dad and step-mom (very new-age, buddhist types) found out they just laughed. don’t you think it would cause more emotional damage to cut off the relationship when the issue is between you and your parents, not your kid and your parents? i mean, seriously. lets talk real reasons, like the one above. i would say child safety is infinitely more important than a religious offense. a dribble of water and the cross sign is not the same thing as a bloody cult ritual where your child is sworn over to the devil or something, geez.

No offense but I know quite a few grandparents who are parenting their kids’ children, and who make better parents than the “bio-parents”. Not every case is cut/dry. This isn’t a perfect world. And, TG for these grandparents who step up and take custody when regular parents wouldn’t!

Not to be overly dramatic, but baptism is kindof a big deal. Getting any child baptized without the permission of the parents is such a huge overstep, such a dramatic declaration that you do not care what the parents think/believe/decide when you know best. If the grandparent does something that important without consulting (or against the explicit wishes of) the parents, how could you possibly trust that grandparent on anything? I realize my in-laws will feed my child things I wouldn’t, let her watch more tv than I’d like, buy her presents I wish they wouldn’t, etc. There’s a certain amount of ‘allowing them to spoil her’ that isn’t worth fighting about. But there have also been a few things about which we have strongly disagreed and my in-laws reluctantly came to understand that they do not get a vote. Some grandparents? Never come to that realization.

I can understand that sometimes the situation gets sticky if there’s a divorce, death, or an uninvolved parent whose own parents want to be involved grandparents. When your child won’t or can’t advocate for you to be a part of your grandchild’s life, that is a different thing than when your own child has actively decided you are not to be involved.

@PlumbLucky: my in-laws think it’s HIlarious that they never used a safety seat when they had kids. However, we’re lucky that when it comes to our kid, they know to follow the rules there.

I’m lucky to have parents and in laws with whom we have a good relationship, but I’ve known plenty of people who wouldn’t allow grandparents unsupervised visits with their children, and for very good reason. In fact, we’ve had to talk to my in laws about a few safety issues (car seat safety, following directions that we give for when we’re not around, etc.) and had a good response. If we hadn’t, they wouldn’t be allowed be babysit. It isn’t because they don’t love their grandkids or genuinely have the best intentions, but because if they can’t keep our kids safe, they can’t be in charge. Period. And that’s our call to make as the parents.

Lalalala – you found another issue on the iceberg, my MIL “doesn’t believe in food allergies”. We do not eat at her house nor any food she’s brought with her to ours as a result because she’s managed to hospitalize me once, and that was enough. That, and a complete lack of respect for our decisions as, oh, I don’t know, the child’s parents.