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Nanny 911 – Would You Call the Police on Your Babysitter?
Last week on Babble, Shannon Rassmussen told us how to get and keep a quality babysitter. But what happens if the person you’ve already hired turns out not to be the person you thought they were?
Over at Motherlode, an anonymous mom tells her story: Her beloved nanny, described as a selfless young woman who is unusually skilled with children, is suspected of feeding the kids — one three, the other 16 months — Benadryl every day at nap time. The nanny has been fired, but the mom wonders if she’s got a responsibility to the nanny’s next family:
That said, we are extremely concerned that she will do this again to other children or she will again exercise poor judgment, and perhaps with much more harmful and endangering consequences. And, of course, there is part of us that wonders whether something even more harmful or insidious was going on — e.g. is this person we loved who we really thought she was? What could have possibly motivated her to do this?
Her motivation, and I’m not defending her here, was probably a quick and easy nap time. It was probably a trick she learned from her own mother, since “helping” kids to sleep, while no longer appropriate or even safe, was once a pretty common thing. I say that because I don’t think this sitter meant for anyone to get hurt, I just think she was being stupid and lazy.
She was also exceedingly lucky that neither child was harmed, but does the fact that no one got hurt mean that her mistake should go unchecked?
Most commenters at Motherlode are adamant that this mom should call the police and or child protective services, while others think that the mother should sit down with the nanny and explain why what she did could have had dire consequences. The mother is torn between her responsibility to other families and children, and not wanting to ruin this young woman’s life.
Where do you stand? Should she call the police? And have you ever had an issue with a nanny or babysitter that you felt needed to be reported?
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14 Comments
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Teacher Pits Student Against Student in Fourth Grade Fight Club | Strollerderby commented on Feb 03 10 at 5:57 pm[...] Nanny 911 – Would You Call the Police on Your Babysitter? [...]
Haiti - Jailed Americans Slip NBC Reporter a Note | Strollerderby commented on Feb 10 10 at 10:00 am[...] Nanny 911 – Would You Call the Police on Your Babysitter? SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: ““Scholar Ladies”: If You Learned It, You Should Have Got an A on It”, url: “http://blogs.babble.com/strollerderby/2010/02/11/scholar-ladies-if-you-learned-it-you-should-have-got-an-a-on-it/” }); Related Posts:School Paper Shut Down for Being Too Honest [...]
“Scholar Ladies”: If You Learned It, You Should Have Got an A on It | Strollerderby commented on Feb 11 10 at 9:01 amAngela commented on Jan 26 10 at 12:32 pmHonestly I think she should. I’ve seen several stories in the news where children have died from caregivers doing this same thing. I’m sure she did not intend to harm the kids but if she wants to work as a nanny she needs to understand the gravity of what she did and learn that you should NEVER medicate anyone else’s kid for ANY reason without the parent’s knowledge and consent.
Tracy commented on Jan 26 10 at 2:29 pmI absolutely think that this mom should alert the police. Or the nanny agency at the very least. I’ve been a nanny for over 10 years and I ran a nanny support group for several years. I have had more than one nanny admit to doing suspicious things to get their charges to take longer naps. Most of it was done in ignorance, but it’s still dangerous stuff!
PlumbLucky commented on Jan 26 10 at 2:59 pmMy nephew has a SEVERE allergy to benedryl. Though I would hope that my sister would remember to tell anyone that her child is allergic…the thought of his reaction to it and subsequent hospitalization (and this all occured at his pediatricians office)…makes me say yes, it needs to be reported to someone because this isn’t just stupid. This could cause far more harm than just a sleeping child.
Linda commented on Jan 27 10 at 10:38 amI’m not surprised. How can anyone care for a child the way a parent would? (And even then it’s shaky for some.) Everyone knows it’s a risk every time we have someone else care for our child, but we still do it anyway in hopes that we’re the exception. And then when we find out that we’re not, we get all upset. No one should be more upset than the child for having parents who’d put them in that situation in the first place.
Bri529 commented on Jan 27 10 at 11:30 amLinda-Are you kidding me? These parents obviously didn’t know they were putting their child in this position. Everyone would love to stay home and keep their kids sheltered from everything. But that is not reality. Most people have to work to provide for their families. I feel awful for this family. I guess no matter how much you trust someone, there is always that chance that something is going to happen. And yes I think the police should be alerted so that this does not happen to another family.
Trey commented on Jan 27 10 at 6:20 pmDef. warn CPS at minimum. There’s issues with children (esp. so young) being over medicated. Others have stated very well the same opinion I have. I’d be mortified if someone did this to one of my young’uns.
ann05 commented on Jan 28 10 at 6:05 amLinda, who is going to be worse off, the kid who has a nanny or the kid who has a mom so irrationally fearful of the world that she never hires a babysitter?
jenny tries too hard commented on Jan 28 10 at 9:23 amLinda, statistically a child is at the most risk from his or her own mother—especially if that mother lacks resources, including respite. Even stay-at-home moms who rarely get a break are more likely to abuse or neglect their children than paid caregivers. Look at your nearest military family—when one parent is deployed and the family lacks social supports like a grandma or friend to come over and watch the baby so mom can have a break, or a nanny that can be hired to care for a toddler while mom takes a part-time job or a class to have a break, the rates of abuse go waaay up. When the mom (usually it is a mom, but not always) reports having family nearby or getting some other respite, the abuse goes down.
Of course this nanny should be reported to the police; if she is genuinely ignorant she needs to be woken up, and if she’s just lazy she needs to be punished and have her reputation as a nanny damaged so that she will be forced out of that line of work.
Bex commented on Feb 21 10 at 8:43 pmthe nanny company the woman comes from needs to be alerted to the situation. I’m not sure what/if the police can charge her with (they may be able to charge overseas, but in NZ I don’t think there would be much the police would be prepared to do charge wise.)
She is obviously lazy, and high ignorant as to what effect this over medication can do to a child. I really, really hope the woman calls the nanny bureau and makes them aware of the situation.
Jessica commented on May 19 10 at 11:22 amAs a nanny and the eldest of 6, I know it is never wise to medicate a child for any reason other than relief of pain, and even that one gets messy sometimes. I think you should talk to the lady and find out what was going on (not that you’ll get 100% honest answer) but at least you can find out the motivation. I would warn other families of this behavior so their children aren’t subject to it.
Surprisingly enough I have the opposite problem, the parents I nanny for like to medicate their 1 year old almost every day (he is clingy and fussy so he MUST need something) and I have a seriously hard time with it. I do not believe in shoving tylenol and ibuprofen down a kids throat because he didn’t get enough sleep. I even had to tell the father today, “He’s sleeping uninterrupted which means he is not in pain, I will not medicate your child because he’s cranky.”
Even parents do things that I believe are highly detrimental to the child (besides leaving them with a nanny 45+ hrs a week but that’s another story).
samantha commented on Jun 27 10 at 10:11 pmComments If you spent time with your kids then you would know if they napped on their own or not. Otherwise invest and buy a survelliance system which you should anyways so no one is sexually abusing your kids. get it on camera. keep measurements of the drug supply.
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