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Guest Blog: James Frey Shares His Devastation Over Losing His Son
This World Aids Day, author James Frey shares his devatation over losing his son and asks us to help all of the chidren who still have a chance.
On July 3rd, 2008, as my wife held him in her arms and I held his hand, my son, Leo Siddhartha Frey, died. We were in a small room in a hospital in New York, a room that was, and is, part of the NICU, a room where families who knew their children were going to die went to spend their last moments together privately and in some kind of peace, though I would never describe the time as peaceful. As we watched him, and told him we loved him, and cried, Leo took a final breath and his heart stopped beating and he passed, and part of me passed with him.
It was, and still is, an unimaginably horrific experience. Whatever loss or pain or sorrow I have ever felt or known pales in comparison. I wept, literally, for weeks. To this day I cannot look at pictures of Leo, and cannot talk about him without breaking down. I have never written about him, never spoken publicly about him, and after this, may never do so again. He was my son. I wanted the world for him. I would have given him anything and had so many dreams for him, though I truly wanted him to have the opportunity to find his own. Every day he was in the hospital I got down on my knees and begged God to save him, to spare him, to let him live, to let him grow up and know love and happiness and find his way. I said take me, take me and grant him what I have known. Take whatever time I have left and give to him. I begged and pleaded and cried. It made no difference. Leo got sicker, and weaker, and he died. In many ways, I will never recover from it.
When I think of (RED), I think of Leo, and I think of the children who are dying. I think of the pain and misery their families will feel when they are gone. I think of what my wife and I have felt and lived with and experienced and I never want anyone else to have to experience the same things. I think of the fact, and it is a fact, that many of these children could be helped and saved and given life. They can find their dreams and pursue them. They can know joy and beauty and love. They can take their first steps and learn their first words and go to school and have their first dates. My son never got to do any of those things. Nothing we, or any doctor on earth, could have changed it. But we, you and I and our families and our friends and our coworkers, can change it for the children in Africa who are living with AIDS. We can give them the gift that we have been given, and that so many of us take for granted.
They need our help. They need money to purchase drugs. They need doctors who can help them learn to live with their disease. They need hope and to believe that they will see tomorrow. Give them that chance. As someone who knows the pain of losing child, knows the personal apocalypse of losing a child, knows the emotional devastation that I felt and will always feel because my child is gone, I beg you to help. Anything you can afford will make a difference. For them, their parents, their families. It will make a difference. For our world, which is so full of violence and horror and poverty and hopelessness and despair, it will make difference. – James Frey

(RED) saves lives. So please choose (RED), get involved and make a difference in this world. In celebration of World Aids Day, James Frey created a one of a kind hand painted Bugaboo Cameleon stroller – inspired by his children and love of letters. The auction commences today and runs for ten days. Please visit ebay.com to place a bid and help save lives.
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17 Comments
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Author James Frey Opens Up About The Death Of His Son | Stacy Steele commented on Dec 02 09 at 6:20 pm[...] Click Here to read Frey’s essay in its entirety. Share and Enjoy: These icons link to social [...]
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Author James Frey Opens Up About The Death Of His Son | MxPit – News and Directory commented on Dec 02 09 at 6:39 pm[...] Click Here to read Frey’s essay in its [...]
Author James Frey Opens Up About The Death Of His Son | commented on Dec 02 09 at 6:52 pm[...] Click Here to read Frey’s essay in its [...]
Author James Frey Opens Up About The Death Of His Son | toldit.com commented on Dec 02 09 at 7:01 pm[...] Sterkt desember 11, 2009 at 7:55 am | In Uncategorized | Leave a Comment http://blogs.babble.com/strollerderby/2009/12/01/world-aids-day-guest-blog-james-frey/ [...]
Sterkt « LILLES VERDEN commented on Dec 11 09 at 2:55 amRenee Eppers commented on Dec 01 09 at 11:30 pmJames, this is Julie Eppers sister, Renee, we met in Seattle.
Words fail to express how very sad I am to hear of this tremendous loss for you and your family.
I am sure you are an amazing, loving caring father and your little boy knew it too!
I will think of you and your family often and I hope and pray you get through this terrible time.
Renee
Citizen Mom commented on Dec 02 09 at 10:57 amHeartbreaking. So amazing of him to turn his pain into a call for actions to help others. I’m motivated.
Also, Vanity Fair reported that he and his wife have since adopted a baby from Russia. their hearts seem to no know no limits.
Thanks commented on Dec 02 09 at 1:42 pmIncredibly moving and inspiring. Thanks for sharing.
d. commented on Dec 02 09 at 8:11 pmHow do we know this is true? James Frey is a liar.
Laura Faleel commented on Dec 02 09 at 10:59 pmWhat an incredibly strong man,to share his pain so openly with us in the hopes of helping others. THANKYOU
Michelle commented on Dec 03 09 at 5:41 pmI sat here in tears as I read this article. In 2003 My husband and I lost our little boy Cohen after only 19 days, it is truly the most heartbreaking, devastating thing you could go through. The statement you made when you said that you lost a part of yourself when he past away is so true. I think you are so brave to put your thoughts and feelings down in order to help others. Good for you!
LogicalMama commented on Dec 04 09 at 12:28 amI know this might sound harsh and of course my heart goes out to him, but I am wondering, did this really happen to him or is this another story like A Million Little Pieces?
Jemma Glasgow commented on Dec 04 09 at 8:00 amLogicalMama – You should be ashamed of that comment.
Milo commented on Jan 06 10 at 7:52 pmLieb,J.”Stimulating immune function to kill viruses.” (2009) Amazon (and bacteria,parasites, and fungi). Preceded by nine review articles, all suppressed by vested interests. Recent research has shown that antidepressants are capable of reducing HIV viral load to undetectable.
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