You’ve got to wonder who at the Vatican sits down to watch teen movies before swiftly denouncing them as coming from a sordid den of iniquity (aka. Hollywood). New Moon may be sappy and sophomoric, but did they bother to catch the flick before calling it a “moral vacuum with a deviant message?”

Advance warning on a few spoilers here, but we’re going to disagree. Largely because as sappy as it is, the second installment in the Twilight saga is rife with a few moral lessons made startling by their presence in a film so popular with today’s average teen.

Lesson one: Old fashioned Edward Cullen (also known as sickly pale Robert Pattinson . . . what can I say, I’m Team Jacob) does not believe in sex before marriage. Score one for good messages that fall in line with the Roman Catholic Church.

Lesson two: Jacob Black (yes, yes, he’s under eighteen, sigh) spends a fair amount of time in New Moon highlighting the rules of a treaty between werewolves and “bloodsuckers” which he cannot break. Score one for following rules.

Lesson three: Edward Cullen does not want to change Bella Swan into a vampire because he’s afraid he will damn her soul. Which sounds an awful lot like something we learned in Sunday school vis a vis the immortal soul and that fiery guy downstairs.

That’s enough spoilage, and a story about a teenage girl hopelessly in love with a vampire is far from a prime opportunity for parents to teach their kids about life. I enjoyed the books because I’m a grown up who knows better – but I can’t help wishing Bella would grow a spine and stop moping about.

Still, credit is due Stephenie Meyer and her Mormon background – her books are not morally devoid. As for deviant messages – they do realize vampires and werewolves are imaginary, right?

But when the Vatican makes its announcements, they’d be a bit more convincing if they weren’t so quick to judge. Want to get a bunch of teenagers in line? Point out the positives and try to convince them they’re cool precisely because they’ve been embraced by a film that’s managed to break all box office records in its opening weekend.

Image: Mega Plex Theatres

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