Dad Turns in His Own Kid For Drugs

I would call this logical consequences. The logical consequence to breaking the law is being turned into law enforcement. If the girl had just been grounded and forced to throw the pot away, she would’ve known she was still getting away light. Besides, we don’t know if this was the first time the dad had found this. We also don’t know how much she was growing–whether it was just one plant that she could’ve passed off as personal use or if it was enough to assume she was selling too. Finally, though, if the dad didn’t do something, I bet he and his wife could’ve been charged with something and/or have their other kids removed from the home if there were any trouble.
I wouldn’t turn my kid in over a small personal-use stash of pot, but growing it? I just might.

If the pot was discovered in some other way (such as in the garbage after the parents threw it out and grounded her) the parents could lose everything, their kids, their house, etc.. they could go to jail. By reporting their daughter they made sure that they wouldn’t get blamed for the drugs. And the daughter, as a minor, has a better chance of getting a light sentance (like counceling)

I agree with Alison wholeheartedly!

If she got punished for this, all kids should be arrested for taking prescription drugs. Marijuana is a lot better for you than adderall

The girl was growing pot. She could very well have been dealing pot. What if we were talking another drug? Say she was dealing heroin. Does that change opinions any?
This isn’t a girl in trouble. This is a girl who chose to grow pot. My sister grew pot in her closet in high school. Then, she stole my identity. Fun times.
I applaud this father for taking a zero-tolerance approach to completely illegal behavior.

What if doing what “you think is right and has the best chance of turning your kid around now. Don’t couch it with “but what if later…” or “they may hate me” or “they need my protection” turns out to push kids away from their parents and further into dangerous behavior? Just because a parent thinks they are doing the right thing doesn’t mean they are. It’s great to assume the zero tolerance policy will work or that it will protect his other children from his daughter’s behavior, but I don’t believe that “bad kids sometimes come from good families” argument. It’s a way of abdicating responsibility for your child’s behavior. As a parent, I see her growing pot as a sign that something seriously wrong is going on in this girl’s life. If she were my child, I would have to ask what it could be–might it be mental illness or emotional problems or abuse she was suffering. The fact that her father turned her in (and we don’t know if this her first offense or if her parents were at the end of their rope) makes me think that her family is part of what is seriously wrong. But by making it a criminal issue, the parents get to avoid taking any responsibility for their daughter’s behavior (”we turned her in when we found out, we aren’t to blame”) by getting her treatment or seeking family counseling. Why bother being a parent when you can pawn off your responsibilities on the criminal justice system?

But marijuana is illegal, so this girl growing a plant in her closet cannot be viewed as a harmless act, regardless of what one considers the drug’s effects to be. Also, in addition to the illegality, it is a mind altering substance and a concerned parent needs to ask why she was seeking to alter her mind–that she was growing the plant (as opposed to buying it elsewhere) speaks to something larger than simple curiosity and recreational use. I would say this if she had a stash of alcohol or prescription drugs locked in her closet as well, however, I suspect her father would not have called the cops if he had found a stash of prescription drugs or alcohol because those aren’t illegal and aren’t hyped as scary “gateway drugs” (the fact that they are more dangerous being irrelevant to many in society). Actually, I would consider finding cigarettes to be serious because it speaks to risk taking and a desire to self-medicate, as well as courting addiction, and I would have to wonder what is going on in my child’s life that would lead to such actions. While I find the father’s reaction to be over the top and one that will push her away from him and potentially further into drug use and dependency, I don’t consider the fact that she was growing a pot plant to be a minor, harmless activity on her part.

GP, you seemed to want to make this about marijuana and ignore the larger issues involved. As I said, this is a cause for concern as would a teenager smoking or drinking or recreationally using prescription drugs would be a cause for concern. Why? Because a teenager’s brain is still developing, because the areas of a teenager’s brain that governs impulse control and critical reasoning is not as fully formed as an adult’s, and the fact that the teenager is partaking in illegal activity is a sign that something is happening with the teenager that needs to be addressed (peer pressure? boredom? abuse? depression?) Marijuana should be legalized, but that doesn’t mean it is a good thing for teenagers to be growing it (especially since it is currently not legal and growing it does have legal ramifications). And, unlike gay marriage, marijuana is not a civil rights issue.

GP, have you read all of my comments here? I basically agree with what you said in your last comment. And we both agree this father’s response was inappropriate. Most of my reaction has been to your comment, “If it was me, I would have bought her a lamp and helped grow it.” There is a difference between using this as a teaching moment and encouraging her to continue to break the law. I totally agree that the dad foisted responsibility for dealing with his daughter onto the state and that is part of the reason I say that there is a larger problem here of which her drug cultivation may be a symptom/indicator. Yes, some people experiment with soft drugs and it means nothing, but some people who experiment with soft drugs go on to have substance abuse problems with those soft drugs. Just because alcohol is illegal doesn’t make alcoholism less of a problem. Making sure your child is well aware of the effects and the risks associated with any mind altering substances they consider experimenting with which include being fully cognizant of the laws as they are (and not as we believe they ought to be)–for Michigan, one can find that out here http://www.legaljoint.net/state_by_state/Michigan.asp?p=Michigan&state=28&mmj=2http://www.legaljoint.net/state_by_state/Michigan.asp?p=Michigan&state=28&mmj=2–is part of a parent’s job. I maintain that, with what little information we have to go on here, this father chose to let the cops and court system do his job for him.

I guess I am viewing this through the lens of what I expect my kid to be when she is the age that this might happen–overall healthy and well-adjusted, but maybe just a little curious about this. I am giving her the benefit of the doubt, not knowing her.

You are very right about the need to address the illegality of drugs, ESPECIALLY from the perspective of choosing confidantes…it’s too bad this girl does not find a good confidant in her family. I never came out in disagreement with YOU, Alison, just with the dad.

Marius–DID YOU EVEN READ ALL MY COMMENTS? You pretty much parrot what I have been saying while trying to cast me as some apologist for this father and the criminal justice system. How many times do I have to say that I don’t support the father’s actions and no matter how minor you consider the offense to be, the fact that the criminal justice system in this country does not is part of the issue. You may consider it to be just like jaywalking, I may consider it to be just like jaywalking, but that is irrelevant since the cops and the courts DO NOT. I never suggested this girl had an addiction, I said that using mind altering drugs (and I specifically included alcohol, cigarettes, and tobacco, all of them being illegal for a teenager) *might* be a sign that something is going on with a kid and responsible parents would talk to their kids about drugs and that includes talking about the legality issues (not just what we think they ought to be) and addiction. Yes, it may just be curiosity and experimentation, but part of being a parent is to follow up on this and to not assume everything is okay simply because we believe it to be safe and/or we did the same thing at their age–sure, I know a ton of people who turned out fine, but I know a few people who were experimenting when we were teens who struggle with addiction or are dead from heroin overdoses (and yes, as a matter of fact, their parents subscribed to the in the one strike and you’re out/tough love/call the cops school of parenting that this idiot father does). Your claim that marijuana is in no way addictive is a common one, but there are many marijuana users who disagree with that (some argue it is physically addictive while others say it is merely psychologically addictive…I don’t know if I agree with them, but I wouldn’t be so quick to disregard their opinion as they are the ones struggling with addiction). In short, if you had actually read all my comments before deciding that you needed to hop on that soap box to single me out as an ignorant pathetic person who was worthy of disgust, you might have realize that I agree with a lot of what you have to say. As I said, the big area I disagree with you is over encouraging our kids to break a law because we think it is stupid–frankly, I can’t see how a responsible parent could agree with that (note, saying to be aware of the law and what will happen if one is caught is not the same thing as turning a kid in.)