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Strollerderby
When It Isn’t the Baby Keeping You Awake
For most of us, the first weeks or months after a new baby are a haze of sleeplessness. But for some mothers, it never quite goes away. Instead, we develop postpartum insomnia, staring at the ceiling while our babies snooze blissfully away.
And that, I can tell you as someone who’s contending with it right now, pretty much sucks. I’ve gone from being someone who sleeps like the dead for as many hours as I can cram in to someone who usually wakes at least once or twice in the night. And then the real fun starts — I worry about money, about the economy, about rising crime and plummeting property values in my neighborhood, about swine flu, car accidents or many other ills which could befall my kids. And just as I am starting to think I might be able to go back to sleep, my husband commences snoring, or the kitten decides it’s playtime, or one or both of my kids needs some attention.
As one of the insomniacs profiled in the story says, “your brain goes to these really dark, twisted places, which, in the cold light of day, seem like nothing.”
I’d be willing to bet that lots of parents are experiencing this right now. We’re living in very anxious times, and the kind of small interruptions you’d normally be able to roll right over and ignore can snowball into big anxious worries at night. The story has a few suggestions: first, do what you can to break the cycle by taking medication, leaving the house for the night, even taking to a spare bed somewhere in the house and putting your kids and spouse on notice that you are not to be disturbed. Exhaustion can breed anxiety which breeds insomnia, so breaking the cycle by getting a few good nights of sleep can sort of hit the “reset” button.
Also, try to avoid middle of the night interruptions to prevent those scary thoughts from creeping in.Your body transitions into a pre-awakening lighter sleep at around 3 am, and being stressed and hyperalert can make your body very receptive to those waking-up signals. And finally, breathe slowly and consciously to relax and allow yourself to fall back asleep.
My trick? Naming all 50 states. It’s engaging enough to keep my mind from wandering, but boring enough that eventually I just drift off.
Anybody else out there? And do you have any tricks to beat it? Share!
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7 Comments
mthemom commented on Oct 21 09 at 2:02 pmI have always had a hard time falling back to sleep after waking up, and my 2 girls are not good sleepers, it is a rare night that I’m not up at least twice. After my 2nd, I started physical therapy to repair my pelvic floor, and have found the fastest way to fall back asleep is by doing kegels. Do 10 sets of 8 reps, holding each one for 5 seconds. Take a 20 sec break between each set. I don’t know if it”s the counting, or if it’s relaxing, but I’ve never finished all the sets. Plus it’s good for you!
edamommy commented on Oct 21 09 at 8:24 pmI didn’t sleep for the first week and a half after my daughter was born. Add that to postpartum depression and you have a mess. I did have to reset the clock with medication, and sleep in a different room than my daughter. It meant that my husband had to be on the “night shift” too. I remember feeling like a failure as a mom! Now I look back three years later and I’m glad I did what I needed to. Don’t take your sleep for granted.
Alyson commented on Oct 21 09 at 9:10 pmMelatonin and Valerian root work for me. But it’s still not unusual for me to be up once a night for an hour or two… or to awaken at 3am and be up for the day.
stunned commented on Oct 21 09 at 11:44 pmI have been at this for 8 years now. i have had several kids back to back. i am used to it but i know i am different because of it. I hope it goes away. i used to sleep. i have bags under my eyes. i hope they go away too. i won’t take anything because i sleep with my youngest and i am afraid of smothering her if im drugged. sleeping with her doesn’t bother me and i believe it is good for her as a baby to feel safe and not be alone.
Lizzie commented on Oct 22 09 at 6:12 pmMy daughter was born during the 2004 presidential campaign. I’ve always had sleep problems, but I kept the Democratic primary debates on my DVR…I’d set the sleep timer on my TV and drift right off. Also used the congressional channel. It worked wonders!
justjenna commented on Aug 26 11 at 3:52 amoh you are so not alone on this one! I have a five week old daughter and I’m now operating on my 5th night in a row with less than two hours of sleep during non-daylight hours. The insomnia started slowly – one or two nights here or there after we came home from the hospital. I thought this was perfectly normal, all new parents are sleep deprived, right? But this has progressed well beyond what I would consider normalcy. I had occasional bouts of insomnia before I was pregnant, but nothing like this! i’m physically and mentally exhausted, but I just can’t make my mind shut up long enough to let myself drift off to sleep. I’ve given up laying in bed, the thought that I’m laying there wanted so badly to fall asleep and not being able to seems to only make things worseI find myself walking around our house all through the night looking for something to clean, straighten, or organize – anything to occupy my mind so as not to let the anxiety creep in. I listen to books on tape or talk radio, allowing the voices of others to quite my own voice in my head which seems to find some perverse pleasure in reminding me of all the horrible things that could happen, but in all reality, are highly unlikely. I worry about the future – what the world will be like when my daughter is old enough to have children of her own. I worry about the past – no one told me I should be taking extra DHA suppliments during pregnancy for my baby’s brain development. And I worry about the present – is she breathing, is she comfortable, is she getting enough to eat, its never ending. I curse the dawn every time I see its familiar hue creeping through my windows. It taunts me like a school yard bully, reminding me that I have failed, yet again, to break this cycle sleep deprivation. My only saving grace at this point is that usually after our morning stroll around the neighborhood I am able to sneak in a few winks while she naps. But what in the world am I going to do when its time to head back to work in a few short weeks? How am I ever going to survive the day when the night is still not my welcome bedfellow?
Kimberley commented on Nov 23 11 at 5:14 pmI have suffered from terrible insomnia since my first baby was born almost 5 years ago. I just had my third and I was staying awake for more than 24 hours in a row on a regular basis while pregnant. It was awful! And the anxiety about going to bed was so consuming. Then a few days after my third baby was born I started having chest pain and heart irregularities. I ended up in the ER and they discovered I was very low in Potassium. They gave me a large dose, I felt great and went home. Then, that night I slept like I haven’t slept in years. Every time I nursed I went immediately back to sleep. I started wondering if Potassium had anything to do with sleep. I couldn’t find out info but decided to try taking it. The only thing is you can’t get more than 2.9% of your RDA from OTC vitamins. I had to get an Rx from my doctor. We have been watching my Potassium levels with regular blood draws and I have discovered that if my Potassium falls below 4.0, I stop being able to sleep. I don’t know why. 3.5 to 5 is normal, but at 3.9 I am not sleeping so it isn’t ‘normal’ for me. I guess it is uncommon to be low…but with all the sleeping aide prescriptions I kind of wonder if this isn’t a national epidemic. Please get your levels checked and if they aren’t above 4.0 start taking Rx Potassium and continue to get checked. I wish I would have known this 5 years ago!
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