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Mommy’s Clubbing Attire Offends Teacher
Let’s say you’re an elementary school teacher and your students’ moms show up to a parent conference in low cut shirts, mini skirts or tight jeans. Would it be appropriate to write a note asking them to dress “discreetly” for conferences instead? A rather humorous letter was sent to advice columnist “Ask Amy” in The Los Angeles Times earlier this week…
Pat, a 59-year-old teacher (who says she is not a prude), wrote a letter about how inappropriate she thinks it is when parents wear so-called clubbing attire parent-teacher meetings. She doesn’t want to see cleavage and low-cut shirts. Her idea to put an end to the risque outfits is to send a note requesting for parents to dress in a more discreet manner.
I remember watching the Real Housewives of the OC a few years ago and being a bit surprised by some of the plunging necklines those ladies wore to their kid’s events. I don’t think I’m a prude, but it is right to parade your bosoms in those types of situations? On one hand, the human body is beautiful so why not show it off. On the other hand, must you wear that particular shirt to that particular event? There are other options hanging in your closet.
The response is interesting, because Amy gives the teacher’s idea a C- and says the following, “As a teacher, you know that the most important thing is not how people look, but how they behave. Are these parents listening to you attentively? Are they asking questions and showing a willingness to be active partners in their child’s education? If they are, then their cleavage issues should be immaterial.”
What do you think? Are these moms being disrespectful or is this teacher Prudy McPrude?
Image: Dame Magazine
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jenny tries too hard commented on Oct 03 09 at 10:25 amMaybe instead of a note to particular parents, she could send out a flier addressed to all parents before the conference requesting appropriate dress….just a thought.
carefree childhood commented on Oct 03 09 at 1:02 pmI think that the parents who dress inappropriately would be too dense to figure out that the flyer referred to them and poorer parents would think that it referred to them and would stay away from the parent-teacher conferences because they were ashamed of their inexpensive clothes. Unless someone who has the respect of the parents can explain to them exactly what about their clothes are inappropriate (a very hard thing to do without offending anyone), the best course of action is to leave the issue alone.
Mistress_Scorpio commented on Oct 03 09 at 1:17 pmPrudy McPrudester needs to follow the advice of the columnist and focus on the important issue… which is not parental attire. She would rightly have her figurative ass handed to her if she attempted to tell a father what to wear.
Marj commented on Oct 03 09 at 2:08 pmThey’re grownups, she has no say on what they choose to wear.
GP commented on Oct 03 09 at 2:36 pm“uhm…you work for me, beyotch”
diera commented on Oct 03 09 at 2:55 pmIt’s quite possible that the way the parents are dressing isn’t totally appropriate for the venue, but directly telling people they’re behaving improperly is *also* rude. I don’t think a teacher can specify what parents wear to parent-teacher conferences.
MMCMomma commented on Oct 03 09 at 3:18 pmI’m on the fence with this one. Personally, I think all parent/teacher rendezvous should be business casual, because when you get right down to it, it IS a business meeting. That said, I’ve found that the majority of today’s parents have two clothing styles: Frumpy and Trashy. I’d likely give more respect to the mother who put thought into her clothing by picking out a coordinating club outfit than the mother who came in wearing last night’s stained t-shirt and dirty jeans.
jenny tries too hard commented on Oct 03 09 at 4:11 pmhmmm…y’all are right about the flier…she should write one of those “Things The Teacher Will Never Tell You” and put it on like every social networking site…with an emphasis that it’s a cleavage issue, (ick, how do male teachers feel?) and not a clothes-from-WalMart issue.
Alicia commented on Oct 03 09 at 6:33 pmAs a second grade teacher, I completely agree with this woman. I am not an older teacher, I am 23 and have been teaching for three years now. When I go out with friends/etc. I dress in a completely different manner than I do at work. I have been made very uncomfortable by parents coming in innapropriately dressed. I feel it is a sign of disrespect to me when parents come to meetings in pajamas, overly revealing clothes, clothing with innappropriate sayings on them, etc. I have never said anything to a parent but it is something I wish people would think about.
GP commented on Oct 03 09 at 6:42 pmMaybe it gives you a clue about the kind of person the parent is!
a'smom commented on Oct 03 09 at 9:45 pmmost schools have dress codes for both the students and the teachers. i don’t think it would be out of line to send a flier out reminding all parents to set a good example by following the dress code anytime they are on school grounds, not just for parent teacher meetings but also just picking up and dropping off your kids. i think most parents would probably prefer not to have to explain to their 2nd grader why halter tops and lucite heels aren’t proper daytime attire.
Bluster commented on Oct 04 09 at 12:21 pmTerrible! Terrible! Atrocious!! My mom would neve have…Oh. In 1953, she was asked to leave a school function because of her inappropriate dress. No one ever talked that way to my mom and didit again.
Oh? Oh, yeah. Wearing what??
A pair of blue jeans. How embarrassed I was. But, that was mom and everyone knew it. That teacher learned her lesson well.
momof2and2teacher commented on Oct 04 09 at 2:38 pmComments
If you are the teacher of younger children, put in the note that a “mommy and me” or “parent and child” photo will be taken. They won’t read that, but after having the embarrasment of having their photo taken in a halter top, they won’t wear it to school again. PS Carefully frame the photo so that you aren’t putting boobs on your bulletin board.
Bec commented on Oct 05 09 at 9:47 amI find the whole “I don’t want to see it, therefore it should be stopped” concept kind of … um, silly. This is the same excuse people use to shame breastfeeders. I realize clubwear in school and breastfeeding are very different, but on one level I think it all comes down to a sense of autonomy. The teacher isn’t concerned about the morality of the clothing, or the messages passed on to her students; she is only expressing dismay about her own comfort and preference. I am a grownup. I don’t dress myself for what I think someone else will want to see.
And yeah, the actual level of interest and involvement of the parents should be the important thing.
Mistress_Scorpio commented on Oct 05 09 at 11:31 pmBec, you win the thread. Hadn’t considered that perspective.
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