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Dad Shaves Shoplifting Daughter’s Head
Talk about extreme discipline. A Florida roofer has been arrested for shaving his daughter’s head as a punishment.
The girl, he said, shoplifted jewelry from Wal-Mart, then later used a Game Boy without permission.
He’s also been charged with using a belt on the eleven-year-old girl. And his charge of child abuse has been tied in court documents to both the physical abuse of the belt and the mental implications of shaving the girl’s head.
So why are people calling for the heads of the Florida officials who hauled Jose Alfredo Ajpacaja-Ajiataz in?
Among the comments on a report of the crime over at the Sun-Sentinel: “I don’t think that shaving her head was child abuse at all. After all a spanking didn’t seem to have an effect. This was he second offense. Shaving her head gave her an embarrassing everyday reminder of what she had done wrong. Causing her to have to explain to her friends that Dad shaved my head because I got caught stealing. A strange punishment Yes, But I think it worked, Other than him getting arrested for it. He shouldn’t have been arrested.”
The above was written by a man – who would have no concept of the affect on an eleven-year-old GIRL of having her hair shaved off (we’re not even going to touch the many comments from people who don’t think beating a child with a belt is child abuse). Hair is at once extremely personal and an open display of femininity. After years of shaving my head annually for St. Baldrick’s, I can attest that it’s a move that hardens a woman to insensitive comments.
American women are largely identified by their hair, and we spend an average of thirty minutes a day washing, styling, etc. Rose Weitz, author of Rapunzel’s Daughters, made a historical study of hair and the improvements women have attained in the quest for freedom from the prison of hair styling. Hundreds of years after the story of Rapunzel linked hair as a mark of beauty and the eponymous heroine’s most useful contribution to life, Weitz still finds hair is the leading way women express themselves to the world.
It’s not all bad when you shave your head. It’s nice to be hit on for a lack of hair as much as it is a length of it. (After nine years of marriage and four of motherhood, it’s nice to know you still got it!). But that comes with it the strength of having made the choice. I brought on both the good and the bad on my own – rather than having it forced upon me, and so the bad is easily outweighed. Not so the victim of a drastic measure of discipline, of the type that will take years to rectify.
Shoplifting and not heeding a parent’s warning are serious mistakes, yes. But whatever happened to grounding and revocation of privileges?
Is turning your daughter into the butt of not just classmates’ jokes but the whole world’s a punishment or abuse?
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At this Shower They’re All Bad Mothers | Strollerderby commented on Oct 06 09 at 12:07 pmliberrian commented on Sep 20 09 at 8:25 pmAlso, in reply to the anon. newspaper commenter, why would the girl tell her friends that her dad shaved her head because she’d been caught shoplifting? (well, before the case was in the paper). I think that, if i were 11 and in her shoes, I’d be able to come up with something much better to tell people when they asked why my head was bald. And I’d probably be much more inclined to rebel further. I’m not really chiming in on the child abuse allegations, I just think this punishment would be totally ineffective, probably counter-effective.
Trace commented on Sep 20 09 at 9:54 pmStrange and unusual punishment…. isn’t there a bill in the bill of rights about that? Just putting that out there… And Dad’s mug looks like it could use a shave. seriously. He should have been despondent and crazy about his attack on his child, and turned the shears on himself! holy hairball!
DAD commented on Sep 20 09 at 11:43 pmThat sounds like a great idea! … I’ve already caught my 7 year old son shoplifting once and I have him a spanking. If I catch either one of my kids son or daughter as TEENAGERS, old enough to know EXACTLY what they were doing I’d save their heads on FIRST offense, not the second. Theft is not just bad miss conduct, It’s a CRIMINAL offense that brings shame to family and because he/she is under age that means I would be held liable. If she is going to commit a shameful act, she can wear it.
GP commented on Sep 21 09 at 8:31 amWhatever happened to “natural consequences” he should have chopped off her hands. NOT! Seriously…what about making her pay back the value of what she stole? Or do some kind of community service that would relate more to the crime? Where’s mom? I imagine it might be hard for a dad like this (he looks kind of working-class/immigrant, I know I’m gonna get flamed for that, but he does) to deal w raising a teenage daughter while he is trying to also get by in this crazy economy…sad all around.
Bec commented on Sep 21 09 at 9:54 amSo how CAN a parent discipline? I’ve learned from the media that I couldn’t make them get out of the car, shave their heads, toss a slice of pizza, spank or say “well done”. Huh.
Manjari commented on Sep 21 09 at 12:42 pmI think it’s crazy to shave your child’s head. It just seems extreme, and kind of mean. I’m not a fan of hitting either, so I think this dad is doing a terrible job.
Ri-chan commented on Sep 21 09 at 3:17 pmObviously he did know the effect it would have, and if this is her second offence, I’d say he felt he had to take drastic measures, technically, she belongs to him, so her appearence is up to him. There’s no way he should have been arrested, I hope it doesn’t hold up in court. (The belt thing, definatly a no-no though)
GP commented on Sep 21 09 at 4:16 pmSo if she “belongs” to him, “technically”, could he force her to get tattooed? Or, could he whore her out? Children don’t “belong” to their parents as property. What country/planet are you from?
maeby commented on Sep 21 09 at 5:01 pmhe probably didnt know what else to do. he’s tired of seeing her fuck up and nothing else he does works. at least hes actually TRYING to do something.
Ali commented on Sep 22 09 at 12:24 amA parent can be sued or jailed for something their minor child does so technically they do “belong” to them. Look up the law dummy. I htink he was on the right track. Trying to shame a child for breaking the law. Too bad more parents are not strict.
paciFIST commented on Sep 22 09 at 7:05 amFalsely imposed shame doesn’t really have an appropriate place in teaching a child…you sound like some kind of right wing hard ass. I hope your strictly parented kids don’t grow up to freak out and alienate themselves from your abusive ways, or worse, shoot up a school or something.
Kenny commented on Sep 23 09 at 4:30 pmCommentsthat’s actually not that unusual.law enforcement is being very insensitive to this guy’s cultural heritage.
orphanchild commented on Sep 27 09 at 3:00 amThe father should have made her go back into the store she stole from and tell everyone in the store that she stole the jewelry and say she was sorry for it. I did it to a girl I was taking care of. She was 10 years old at the time. She is 19 now and the experience taught her the lesson she need to learn. She doesn’t steal and she is a health well adjusted adult
Michelle commented on Oct 10 09 at 7:18 pmWhether or not the punishment was bizarre – which I kinda think it was – the point is do the police have the right to interfere in parental punishments if they don’t do any real harm to the child. As the mother of teens – I’m always looking for a way beyond the standard grounding to get through to them. Would I have shaved my daughter’s head – probably not. But if I did, I don’t think I would deserve to have the police on me for it.
Michelle commented on Oct 10 09 at 7:19 pmAnd…it’s nice see a parent who actually punishes a child for stealing – that isn’t very common these days!
AUSTIN commented on Oct 19 09 at 7:17 pmI THINK THE PROBLEM IS THAT THE POLICE AS WELL AS THE DEPARTMENT OF CHILD PROTECTIVE SERVICES ARE OVERSTEPPING THEIR BOUNDS WHEN CALLING CERTAIN ACTIONS ABUSE. IS IT ABUSE WHEN A LAW ENFORCEMENT OFFICER TASERS THAT SAME CHILD IN A FEW YEARS WHEN THEY CATCH HER STEALING? I SAY GOOD JOB DAD, TAKE ACTION TO RAISE A BETTER CHILD!!
BR commented on Nov 17 09 at 2:41 pmthe girl committed a crime.. the punishment is what the parent sees fit.. hair grows back, hopefully the bad habits wont. For all the folks saying this is to extreme, what about a robber/rapist that brakes in your house, should you just take away some of their toys or do you pull a gun and make sure nothing else happens? You alwasy hear about the criminal that is suing the home owner in civil court over getting shot while they are committing a crime… what happened to the world and personal responsibility.
Earth Parent commented on Nov 18 09 at 5:50 pmCrucify her!
Alicia commented on Dec 01 09 at 6:55 pmPlease. Shaving one’s head as a woman or even a girl isn’t the end of the world. Hair grows back. The lesson lasts forever. If my parents ever caught me shoplifting they would’ve done something equally embarrassing to get the message across.
I think this dad had every right to shave her head as punishment. It would sure deter me from shoplifting ever again!
a parent commented on Dec 23 09 at 10:53 amI just saw a kid get a spanking in public the other day for throwing a temper trantrum like a spoiled brat and guess what? She got up off the floor, wiped her face, calmed down, and acted respectfully afterwards. Yay for the parents who have the guts to address their children’s bad behavior and correct it when they’re still young enough to learn some basic rules of conduct. Shaving her head? Please. It’ll grow back. Until then, she’ll be reminded of the misdeed daily, and rightly so. As for the belt, if done in love and not anger and for the sake of discipline and not violence, so be it. I remember belt whippings as a child and it helped me not repeat my bad behaviors… I love my parents dearly and thank them for not being so weak as to let me get away with things lightly. My son is now 16 and he’s had his fair share of spankings and severe punishments as well. We have a great relationship and I hope the lessons learned carry with him and that he raises his own children by the same standards. Get a grip, people. I teach high school and I can tell you that the kids without discipline at home are the ones who are really headed for trouble…
a parent commented on Dec 23 09 at 10:58 amif there’s a case of burns, broken bones, starvation, or some other health related serious abuse, then yes, intervention should occur. but, cases of spankings, shaven heads, and such? it’s a parents right and obligation to discipline their children how they see fit. the government and the public should get out of the way and say thank you so that they have fewer criminals to deal with in the future.
SupremeRuler commented on Jan 14 10 at 7:39 pmPICS OR IT DIDNT HAPPEN
College Grad commented on Feb 21 10 at 6:59 pmComments This guy is a real uneducated,ignorant,and not to mention a chauvanistic moron! There are other ways to deal with this problem! He should’ve made her return the item,grounded her for ten days or so (no movies or trips to the mall with friends),and make her handwrite,or compose on Word,a one to one and a half page letter of apology,to the managment of the store!Shaving her head was extreme,and will only increase her hatred of her father,and men in general!Maybe the mother should divorce this “Dirtbag”,and be awarded custody of the daughter.The father’s stunt with the belt,and the shaving of her locks,will only help the mother,or other relative who wants custody,to win their case.When the judge awards the child support payments,it should hurt,to the point where he’ll have to work two maybe three minimum wage jobs,seven days a week,including holidays,such as Thanksgiving and Christmas!This guy does not look like a “Teetoler” to me,so when the Florida State Trooper,or Hillsborough County sherriff sees his vehicle weaving because he’s had one or two too many brews or shots,prison guards should “SHAVE HIS HEAD”,while he’s behind bars,and he’ll know what it feels like,so “GIVE HIM A TASTE OF HIS OWN MEDICINE”!!
Clairesse commented on Mar 22 10 at 1:32 pmComments This is a working dad that obviously he had tried things like taking her game away and it didn’t work, now days you are not alloud to spank your kids and kids that steal should be reminded everyday that it is not okay to break the law and steal. I have four childeren and if I had to shave my daughters head to make a point to her I would the hair does grow back and you have to know she will not be doing that again. This dad should not be getting arrested for shaving her head.
jenn commented on Jun 28 11 at 9:53 amShaving her head is NOT cruel. Letting her go down the path of a criminal is. He needed to get her attention that this kind of behavior was unacceptable. Don’t be so vain, hair will grow back, hair doesn’t make a person- its just HAIR!
Jenni commented on Oct 18 11 at 1:43 pmNO offense but a whipping with a belt is not abuse. That was my parents main form of punishment. I WAS NOT ABUSED. Obviously this girl did not learn her lesson. I say WAY TO GO DAD!!! i completely agree with you Jenn
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