babble » blogs » Strollerderby
Strollerderby
Helicopter Parenting – Are We Letting Our Kids Down?
This summer, my 6-year-old learned to ride a two-wheeler. Not 24 hours after that first wobbly solo ride, she asked me if she could ride around the block by herself.
“Sure,” I stammered, after a moment’s hesitation. And then I sat on my porch and sat on my hands to prevent myself from following her. It felt right, but it was hard letting go.
Later that night, my husband — the parent less likely to hover — said, “Oh, I would have never let her do that.” I had to do a gut recheck: Had I misjudged?
I don’t think I did (and after watching her, my husband agreed). Teaching kids to be independent is part of parenting, one of the harder parts for most of us. But her confidence grew each time she circled the block — how could we take that away from her to save ourselves a little anxiety?
A week later she fell half-way around. Rather than cry and run to me for a band-aid — as she would have done had she fallen in front of me — she was forced to dust herself off, pick up her bike and walk it home. I bit my lip when I saw the bruise the next day, but it didn’t slow her down. Now she wants to ride to the park by herself. Baby steps, my love.
PunditMom has an excellent post about the difficult job of letting our kids grow up. And she asks the hard question: In our efforts to keep our kids safe, are we ultimately letting them down? Helicopter vs. free-range parenting may be the new mommy wars battleground, but I think it’s an honest question that I, at least, ask myself on a daily basis while I maneuver the line between safety and letting my kids grow up in their own way, in their own time.
In so many ways, our kids are more coddled than ever. How do you feel as a parent: Are the lucky to be kept safe and out of harm’s way, or are we doing them a disservice by not letting them take more risks?
Photo: Beach Cruiser, Flickr
Go Back To Strollerderby
0 Comments
GP commented on Sep 16 09 at 11:27 amI’m sick of the categorizing. In some ways I take one approach in other ways, the other…when it comes to external things that could hurt my kid…molesters, crazy drivers, asshole teenagers hassling them…I would be more helicoptery…when it comes to letting my kid explore or stretch her skills in an environment free of the external creeps, then it’s different. If someone wants to call me a helicopter parent, then they can kiss my ass.
cocobean commented on Sep 16 09 at 12:21 pmI mostly agree with GP, I think you have to look at each situation and make your decision. I think over all most parents are way over protective and we overall are letting our kids down. My son is still very young (he just turned one) but I hope that as he grows I can let go little by little and give him a sense of independence. I think it also depends on the child. Do they follow direction and rules well? If not I don’t think that they should have as much freedom as a child who does. Yet again just a case by case basis.
Maureen commented on Sep 16 09 at 1:38 pmI am definitely more protective of my kids than my parents were, but really, as kids my siblings and I did some pretty stupid things and some of us are lucky to still be here with all of our limbs:) I think a lot of stuff depends on the kid. I wouldn’t let my 6 year old boy ride around the block simply because he doesn’t pay attention enough, especially around driveways. My daughter, though, I think she’ll be ready when she is his age because she is more cautious. On the other hand, I let my son climb and jump on rocks to his heart’s content because he is very surefooted (this activity is very distressing for most of my friends to watch), but my daughter must hold a hand because she can fall down when she is standing still.
My approach is to really try to “know” my kids and let go appropriately.
Rosana commented on Sep 16 09 at 1:56 pmI agree with GP and cocobean. I do not care what other people think. I rather overprotect my kid than put him in harm just so other parents won’t judge me. I remember when I was little, I did not have to go three blocks away from my house to have fun and I do not think my kid will have to either. As parents we can present them with environments where they can be free to play however they want without all the harms that GP mentioned.
Marc Herstein commented on Sep 17 09 at 11:25 amGreat article. The safety of our children today is something to be taken very seriously ! Thank you so much for sharing:-)Here is something for parents and grandparents everywhere ! Grandchild Connection allows distant grandparents and grandchildren to develop close, meaningful relationships by utilizing today’s technology of video conferencing. As part of the “VideoVisit” experience, we coach grandparents in educational and social activities that deepen the bonds they share with their grandchildren, and we provide the tools to achieve that end. We are putting the finishing touches on the site and are having our first soft launch on National Grandparents Day, September 13th, 2009. Looking forward to hearing from you soon! Come visit us today at grandchildconnection dot com
Add your take:
Note: Babble is a supportive, diverse community. We encourage a range of opinions,
but any unduly hostile comments will be removed.
Comments are delayed up to 15 minutes
Joslyn Gray 
Amber Doty 
Julianna Miner 
Monica Bielanko 
Sierra Black 
Meredith Carroll 
Carolyn Castiglia 
Sunny Chanel 
Madeline Holler 
Wendy Michaels 
Rebecca Odes 
Danielle Smith 
Danielle Sullivan 
Katherine Stone 
The Walt Disney Company supports Babble as a platform dedicated to honest, engaged, informed, intelligent and open conversation about parenting. However, the opinions expressed on this site are those of individual parents/writers and do not reflect the views of Disney. In addition, content provided on this site is for entertainment or informational purposes only and should not be construed as medical advice, diagnosis, treatment, or safety advice.
0