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Baby Name Remorse – Would You Change Your Baby’s Name?
A month or so after my first daughter was born a good friend sat holding her. “You know,” she said, “Her name just fits her. It’s perfect.” And it really does. So … whew … because, you know, it’s her name. I use it a lot, and sometimes — when she’s ignoring my sixteenth request to go brush her teeth — I combine it loudly with her middle and last name, too.
But sometimes parents don’t like their baby’s name. Maybe they never liked it to begin with and gave in to their partner or family pressure, thinking the name would grow on them. Or maybe they loved the name, but it just didn’t fit their baby.
That’s exactly what happened to Lena Corner. Though she waited until her second son was six weeks old before settling on the name Ralph, it just never stuck. So when Ralph was six months old, she and her partner changed his name to Huxley.
In the Guardian she writes:
It’s remarkably easy to change a baby’s name before the age of one. You just fill in a form from the register office and the birth certificate gets amended. It’s a little more complicated if they have already been christened, or are over the age of one, but not much. The Name Change Company, for example, the UK’s leading deed-poll facilitators, will take care of the whole process for just £33.
It’s much less easy, however, to break the news to other people.
Although my mum just laughed and my sisters encouraged me, there were mutterings about me and the future identity crisis I was creating. Ronnie [Corner's older son], who was three at the time, was a bit cross about it and insisted on using Ralph, until one day, a few weeks later, he forgot and switched seamlessly to Huxley.
I never hesitated with either of my girl’s names, but I can see Corner’s point. You and your child will have to live with your choice for life. If it’s not a good fit, better to fix your mistake now. Would you or have you ever considered changing your baby’s name?
Photo: @cdharrison, Flickr
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Teen Boy Told To Dress Like a Man or Go Home | Strollerderby commented on Oct 08 09 at 8:45 pmAli commented on Sep 14 09 at 1:32 pmYes. I regret keeping the name the orphanage gave one of my kids. I should have given a new name.
Criag commented on Sep 14 09 at 1:39 pmIt’s strange how you can look at some babies and know what their name is. If there’s a chance your kids will have problems at school then you should definately change their name i think. Just use common sense.
Laura commented on Sep 14 09 at 2:00 pmYes you must change the name if it creates problem for your child.
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jeannesager commented on Sep 14 09 at 2:30 pmSomeone I know (whose mother I’m protecting here by remaining nameless) was so doped up she screwed up her kid’s name on the birth certificate. His name is still technically the same, but they had to go back and have a reissued certificate that spelled his name in a way that was identifiable with the way it’s pronounced. So he technically had a name change.
Samsmomma commented on Sep 14 09 at 2:41 pmWhen my little sister was a few weeks old my dad decided that we should call her by her middle name, Ariel. We tried for a couple of days, but it just didn’t take. We kept saying “Lisa- I mean Ariel…” And this was when she was so little she had no idea! She’s gone by Lisa ever since, except briefly when The Little Mermaid came out.
Bunny commented on Sep 14 09 at 3:12 pmI have a friend who, because of a typing mistake on his birth certificate, has the middle name “Larwence.”
Another friend’s parents tried to change his name when he was naturalized… at the age of 18. By putting the name on his birthday cake. He didn’t go for it. (They wanted to change it because the new name was one that was more typical of their ethnicity, while his original name was a pretty standard one for the region.)
Mistress_Scorpio commented on Sep 14 09 at 6:44 pmWhen I was preg with my son, my husband came across a contest from Vlasic Pickles (I think). They were giving away a $5000 savings bond to anyone who gave their child the middle name of “Crunch.” I wasn’t amused.
libs commented on Sep 14 09 at 6:59 pmI named my child a trendy name before I found out it was trendy. I go back and forth a few times a week. I love her name, and it fits her. But I hate the thought of her in class with a dozen other Sophias.
Elle commented on Sep 14 09 at 7:16 pmWhen we started trying to have kids we had names picked out. Once we moved to Russian adoption we then picked out Russian names to reflect their ethnicity. When that all fell apart we were fresh out of names. Then our referral came with a “weird” Russian name. We figured out how to pronounce it correctly and it really did fit him. We get strange looks from people and for the first 8 months we were home people asked what his name was. When we replied “Oleg” they asked if we were going to keep it. Our only challenge now is getting people to pronounce it correctly. It is Ah-leg not Oh-leg.
cavale commented on Sep 14 09 at 7:39 pmare her other children going to be named McKenna and Leary? Or maybe Orwell and Lem?
Lindsay commented on Sep 14 09 at 7:52 pmMy daughter’s name is Beatrice, and I wouldn’t change it for the world. I know it’s a little old, and I was afraid it wouldn’t fit her, but when I first saw her, I couldn’t imagine calling her anything else.
Barb commented on Sep 15 09 at 10:28 amI could see changing a name after a few days, but not a few years. They could always go with the middle name? Like Libs mentioned above, my daughter has a popular name that wasn’t popular yet when we named her. She’s Isabelle Rose. She’s almost 7 now, and Isabella is a popular name with girls younger than her, and I get so angry when people call her Isabella! I’ve told her that it’s OK to correct someone, even a teacher, if they call her by the wrong name. I chose that name in high school after a beautiful song by a band called Unrest… so while it’s popular now, it’s been in my head half my life. Also, my son is named Brodie, after Jason Lee’s character in Mallrats. THAT’s how long that name has been chosen (1995), so now I feel like both my kids have trendy names… totally on accident! In all honesty, I haven’t met another Brodie yet, but plenty of Bradys.
Knitty commented on Sep 15 09 at 8:48 pmI hate to admit it, but I would change my daughter’s name if I could. I didn’t realize that it was one of the top-ten most popular names the year she was born, or that the reason the name was so popular was because of a vapid character in a vampire series. After reading said series, I was so appalled that I immediately started investigating what we would need to do in order to change her name… but it’s a little late. She’s two, and her name is her name.
Marj commented on Sep 17 09 at 2:26 pmThe more I see my sons the more they look, to me, like exactly a Simon and a Malcolm.
Lucky commented on Oct 09 09 at 3:37 pmTechnically I had to change my son’s name. I filled out the paperwork properly but whoever actually filed the birth certificate copied my name in place of his! They still made us “change” it as if it were my mistake.
mayra commented on Jun 17 10 at 11:17 pmYes, i want to change my baby’s name so bad, i wasn’t thrilled about it to begin with since its a very common name…well i ended up naming him after his father, who’s not really around much.
heather commented on Jun 24 10 at 12:46 pmCommentsMy name is so common I really put a lot into my children’s names. I wanted them to be unique but also reflect their native heritage and our western lifestyle. I choose Blaize for my son, but I also love it for a girl; our deal was that it was Blaize wether it was a girl or a boy. I am a teacher, and when my son was about 6 months old one of my previous students came in beaming to tell me that he named his sone, Blaize in honor of me…sigh…so what seems unique may not be for long. LOL My daughters name is Krei (pronounced Cree) I love them both although many people mispronounce it and think its “cry”..lol
Egkvol commented on Jun 30 10 at 8:23 amI think that people don’t realize they are naming a child, and not being cute or naming a puppy. If you have to repeat, spell, pronounce and explain the name you are considering giving your child you should think again. THEY have to go through their entire life with this name. And just because you spell Jackson with an X doesn’t mean he is any different than the 11 other Jacksons in his class.
R commented on Jul 14 10 at 6:02 pmI have an unusual name and have never met nor heard of another person by my name. My mom made it up. I love having a name like no other… it makes me truly unique and people remember me.
AshleyGovea commented on Oct 29 10 at 6:33 pmI LOVE my daughter’s name. It’s Isabella. Me and my husband struggled so much to find a name that none of our family had and one that wasn’t very common. Well APPARENTLY Isabella is a VERY popular name. Now I want to change it. I want my kids to have a unique name. My name is Ashley. Growing up there were always 5 or 6 Ashley’s in my classes. Its very frustrating for someone to yell down a hallway “Ashley! No not you! The one next to you!”
Debra commented on Dec 04 10 at 3:15 pmi had my son in a layby on the way to hospital and named him Blaize Dale Guy Hill my sister phoned me the same night and said Debra ur sons anitiols are B.D.G.H.? yes i said! well the hospital i was heading for to give birth was get ready for this BASETLAW DISTRICT GENERAL HOSPITAL. BLAIZE DALE GUY HILL. B.D.G.H. how mad is that?
Ashley commented on Dec 31 10 at 1:04 pmI have always thought of names for my kids since I was little, I knew I wanted something completely different because my name is Ashley, which is VERY common, I actually have 4 other friends named Ashley. I went thru many names while pregnant and chose Luna Johli.. everyone hated it.. So I kept looking and chose Clover Johli. It had to be natural and include my boyfriends middle name (Lee) and my best friends middle name (Jo) with a little twist on the spelling of course. I wouldnt change it for anything.
JP commented on Feb 21 11 at 7:02 pmI have 3 grandchildren and one on the way….. ALL have unusual names!
I don’t think the parents have considered the consequences of their actions.
These adorable babies will certainly have some ‘splaining’ to do! I understand, as I’ve hated my name ever since I’ve known I was allowed to do so.
Bilancia1019 commented on Oct 15 11 at 1:52 ambefore I was pregnant with my daughter, I’d fallen in love with the name Lucien, from a book by Annie Proulx! I chose the name, wishing for a son…Lucien Silver would be his name, but I had a girl. Being terribly dismayed at our culture having to pick a name PRIOR to birth, I did some research and found out it is a girls name as well.
I kept the first name but chose Indigo to keep the color aspect, and it still reflected my grandmothers name, Lucille.
I’m happy with her name, and luckily, though I’m a single parent, I didn’t have any conflict with her father in the naming business!
I have a brother who changed his name when he got older…I feel it’s important to change the name while they are young, but other than that, leave it and give them the option. Who knows? They might love the name even if you dont! There are also nicknames that you can call your child that dont reflect their ACTUAL name, even though you can teach your child what their name IS. The identity eventually lies with the child. No reason in making it a big deal if it doesn’t have to be.
Jennifer No Middle Name commented on Jan 25 12 at 11:48 amGrowing up with the name Jennifer and no middle name always bugged me. My mom says I gave my kids all the names I never got! Mary Margaret (and we call her Greta) and William Bennett (Ben). I would like to change Greta’s name to Marymargaret with a middle name. I hate when people call her Mary, but now in 3rd grade, she has come to like it, and even use it sometimes! Ben was originally William Benjamin. I wanted Bennett, my husband refused, until his Grandmother called to wish us congratulations on the birth, and said her fathers middle name was Bennett! To change it (within the first week) my husband called the clerk to change it… when they gave him a hard time, he simply said, “You asked what his name was when she was totally on drugs!” They changed it without any problem :) With Greta, I kept telling the “name lady” to go away, I wasn’t ready yet:)
Now divorced, I go by Just Jen. JJ for short. I like it!
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