Seriously, this is what some UN agency is spending its time on?

I was raised Catholic and I still am. I don’t know why it is considered politically correct to be tolerant of some religions and not of others. You may have had some bad experiences with the Catholic Church, but I can tell you that the teachings of the Catholic Church on this topic are not oppressive or unreasonable. Our sexuality is considered to be a gift and ought to be used in the context for which it was given. That context is a faithful marital relationship, where it expresses love and often results in the conception of a child. Masturbation is an excess. It’s like gorging yourself with chocolate between meals just because you can. Of course that is not a very strong example because it is not of the same moral magnitude, and we’ve all done it; but I think we can all agree that it is not a very good practice. Children ought to learn about sexuality in the home where the parents can decide what is appropriate. It is not the role of the state, especially when it shows a blatant disregard for the religious beliefs of the parents (and Catholicism is not the only religion that believes masturbation is wrong.) In regard to your point about making a child feel guilty- of course that would be inappropriate and counter-productive. It IS natural for a child to do something that feels good. It’s possible to quietly discourage the habit without making a big deal about it. The child shouldn’t be forced into the view that sex is dirty. That would be wrong, and the Catholic Church has never held that view. Children have many habits that can be discouraged without giving them a pathological fear of the thing they should avoid. Take the chocolate example. A child, when he or she is old enough, can be told that there is a time and a place for that kind of activity. Making it a free-for-all cheapens it.

Mary – I don’t really feel that I’m intolerant of Catholicism so much as critical of the way it approaches sexuality. We were taught, plain and simple, that masturbation was dirty.

But what about is really so bad? You admit that it’s natural for kids to do something that feels good and that they shouldn’t learn sexuality is dirty. So what good does it do to discourage them from exploring it in a healthy, safe way?

Masturbation is actually a great means to keep kids from engaging in risky behaviors – because they release some of the natural pent-up sexual tension of those hormonal years. It can even help with the very Catholic practice of preventing pre-marital sex (something I can respect, if that’s your choice).

I’m liberal too but not sure how to react teaching my kids at age 5 about this. First, we need to teach the lesson that masturbation is not a bad thing before we go into how to do it! Wasn’t there an Oprah episode on this recently?

I personally like the suggestion portion…this must have been written by academics!

http://suburbtopia.blogspot.com

Masturbation conflicts with the purpose of sexuality. Sexual intercourse is the ultimate expression of love for another. It represents total self-giving. This is why it only has a place in the marital relationship, where spouses have vowed their lives to one another. It is a physical expression of the vows that were taken. Masturbation, on the other hand, is for the doer’s pleasure alone and so it doesn’t reflect the Church’s view of sex as a sacred and beautiful act of self-giving.

Hey, diddle diddle indeed! Kudos to the guidelines, boo to the repressed.

I started masturbating at age 8, and no one ever told me about it. I just figured out that it felt good. I think it would’ve saved a lot of confusion if I had been taught about it before that.

I am not Catholic, and I think it’s fine for people to masturbate if they wish (though hopefully not in public) but I think discussing actual masturbation is a bit premature for kindergarteners. Kids don’t really want too detailed information early on — it is generally more than they can handle. For the typical 5 yo, it’s enough to tell them that it’s fine for them to touch themselves if they want to, but don’t do it in public and don’t do it *with* anyone else at this age. That’s plenty of info for that age.

Let’s look again at what’s recommended discussion for children aged 5-8:

* Most children are curious about their bodies
* It is natural to explore and touch parts of one’s own body
* Bodies can feel good when touched
* Touching and rubbing one’s genitals is called masturbation
* Some people masturbate and some do not
* Masturbation is not harmful, but should be done in private

Covers the basics of a) it’s OK to touch your own body, including your penis/vulva, b) “masturbation” is the name for that activity, c) it’s normal for masturbation to feel good, and therefore normal for kids to want to do it, and d) masturbation is a private thing, so you do it with yourself and in a private place. That’s like a 3-minute conversation tops, once adults can bring themselves to say the word “masturbation”. No instruction manuals, no detailed information on how to masturbate, and certainly no imposition of adult sexuality on children – just “Hey, what you’re doing has a name. It’s normal to masturbate, so go enjoy yourself in private.”

I’m beginning to fear that a lot more adults have sexual proclivities towards children than previously suspected, if so many people are visualizing UNESCO-trained grownups whipping out porn films or unzipping their own trousers/lifting their own skirts in order to deliver a basic “Masturbation is normal, won’t hurt you, and should be done in private” message to children (or, more likely, to medical and education professionals who work with children and parents). I’ve been teaching comprehensive sex ed across the lifespan for a long time now, and that’s simply not what we’re about. Trust me on that one, OK?

Mamazee, I just caught your line here: “These messages are basically good ones,but the UN deciding when is the best time to share them, is not a good idea.” The UN’s age guideline is consistent with current child-development theory, which has come a long way since Piaget. It’s a science-based, best-practice guideline. It kicks ass.

Personaly i dont think theres anything really wrong wiht this but maybe they should find out about this at 6-7 not 4-5. I think that it is actualy smart to do this because kids this way find out to do this in private and it is not okay to do this in public insted of finding out the hard way and have their parents tell them who almost always put it off. Having learn this will help parents alittle more and i know what this person means about most Catholic. I am 15 and Catholic and i have seen how some Catholic parents or grandparents who are way to religious actualy beat their 4 or 5 year old for accidently masterbating and not telling them why they beat them. I even read of one man who beat his child for accidently landing on a unicorn plush he got her for her birthday the day before and burned it after she accidently fell on the horn with her privet and have it accidently rub against it were she started rubbing against it more and when he saw her he burned the unicorn in front of her and beat her for 2 hours straight and end up not telling her why he beat her. I personaly think this has to stop.