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‘Expressing Motherhood’ Tells Motherhood Like It is
New moms often complain nobody ever tells them the bad parts of pregnancy, childbirth and the 18+ years thereafter.
Instead, the freshly pregnant find out about things like meconium aspiration only after they’ve pushed out a baby who is quickly whisked away to the NICU.
Or that it’s completely within the realm of possibility that her beautiful new baby will incessantly cry for the first three months of its life.
Or that her beautiful new baby will someday develop a condition that not even the experts can identify.
Or that one day she may actually call her 8-year-old son an asshole — and not feel all that bad about it.
The performers in “Expressing Motherhood,” are more than willing to disclose these and other details to anyone who will listen.
This performance of more than a dozen one-woman readings about motherhood, was conceived by two moms during their kids’ naptimes. The show is now on its third cast in Los Angeles, with a fourth cast to perform in September in New York City (including a one woman’s ode to her mini-van).
Not unlike the “Vagina Monologues,” the performers in “Expressing Motherhood” write and perform their own pieces based on their own lives. (You can become part of it and I’ll tell you about that in a second.)
Now, while I write about modern parenting life everyday here — and I also have some favorite parent blogs I read regularly — many of the stories these moms told caught me completely off-guard.
I fully expected to be bored with one that started out singing, so to speak, the praises of Dan Zanes. Instead, I wound up in a controlled sob midway through and it had nothing to do with Dan Zanes and everything to do with how the disconnect between what we expected from motherhood and what came to be can sometimes make us do really pathetic things.
There was also a mom who took us through the few minutes she spent pulling enormous shards of glass from her daughter’s face while waiting for the ambulance to arrive. And one who talked about chopping up her placenta.
There are two more L.A. performances (this Saturday and Sunday, Aug. 8 and 9) and then three performances in NYC (Thursday, Friday, Saturday Sept. 23, 24, and 25). Go here for ticket info.
Now, what about your story? All the performers wrote original pieces, which they submitted to the show’s director and producer. From there, the performers were chosen, the pieces edited and shaped and then rehearsed for performance. They’ll soon start planning for another L.A. show so start getting your submissions ready. You don’t have to live in the area, apparently, since one mom flew in from Ohio to perform!
Check back at the website for more info. Expressing isn’t just for breastmilk!
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[...] Expressing Motherhood Tells Motherhood Like it is [...]
Is Non Custodial Mothering the New Way to Parent? | Strollerderby commented on Aug 05 09 at 11:32 am[...] of “Expressing Motherhood” have opened submissions for a third show in the Los Angeles-area for the January 2010 [...]
Your Turn to Express Motherhood | Strollerderby commented on Sep 03 09 at 1:11 pmChiken commented on Aug 04 09 at 2:21 pmAs a new mom, my experience was the exact opposite — all anyone tells you is how hard mothering an infant is; how you give up your freedom and you never sleep. I rarely heard anyone talking about how FUN it is!
Mistress_Scorpio commented on Aug 04 09 at 3:00 pmMy friend is in the NYC show! :)
MsC commented on Aug 04 09 at 3:10 pmI agree with Chiken. Not only did I have all sorts of people give me all sorts of ‘warnings’, I found myself wondering why some people needed all of these warnings. I had actually encountered infants, kids, and parents well before becoming pregnant. That tiny babies require frequent feeding and can be loud, that toddlers can be high energy, that teenagers are surly, etc was not news to me.
diera commented on Aug 04 09 at 3:14 pm“New moms often complain nobody ever tells them the bad parts of pregnancy, childbirth and the 18+ years thereafter.”
Are there *really* still new moms who feel this way, when every mothering book and blog on the planet falls all over itself to tell you the ‘real truth’ about mothering, i.e. that it’s all horrifically scary and bad?
justjill commented on Aug 04 09 at 3:46 pmI think it’s less that I didn’t know my child would possibly cry 8 hours a day, and more that I thought I would handle it better than I did. (And honestly I did not expect to have a colicky baby, despite being fully aware of the possibility). But I do have to say there were things that happened to my body the first weeks after my relativelyb uncomplicated vaginal delivery that neither books (and I read a lot of them) nor my friends prepared me for.
MsC commented on Aug 04 09 at 5:23 pm@justjill, I can identify with that. I did have to face a parenting situation (my milk never came in, no matter what we tried) I never thought I would have to face, and that was tough. On the other hand though, I had a coworker who warned me during my pregnancy that ‘no one ever tells you that you won’t get any sleep the first three months’ and I couldn’t help wondering what rock he’d been living under his entire life.
PlumbLucky commented on Aug 05 09 at 8:20 amI’m not sure that its a case of “nobody tells” but more a case of “you don’t want to believe so you don’t hear it”.
jewel commented on Aug 07 09 at 12:37 pmI don’t think the performers prepared to go on stage to whine or talk about what “nobody tells”. Rather, they simply shared a verbal snapshot of their unique take on motherhood. There are many happy cheery stories that could have easily been shared, but that would be a different show. I appreciated the honesty.
Rebecca commented on Jan 31 10 at 5:06 pmAgreed, MsC. I’ve taken care of kids before. While my handling of it won’t be the way I imagine it now, it isn’t a shock that babies squall, toddlers can be cranky energizer bunnies, teenagers think the world is ending, etc. It does sound like a cute show though.
Elissa commented on Jan 13 11 at 6:06 am@Chiken. Hearing you loud and clear! All I heard from most people was how hard it was going to be. Pregnancy would be hard, birth would hard, having a baby would hard, hard, hard! All of this, mind you, from the same set of people who had been badgering me to have a baby every since I got married. Are they sadists, or what?
We’re almost 12 weeks post birth now, well over the honeymoon period, and I’m still waiting for it to turn sour. As far as I can see, it just keeps getting better and better!
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