I spanked my daughters when they were young, but stopped when the youngest was about twelve, because I found myself using my belt to ‘pass out disapline’. When I thought about it, that wasn’t a spanking, that was a beating. And so it is with the proverbial unspared ‘rod’.

I wonder if there is a socio-economic status component to this. I live in the south and have for most of my life, and most of my friends are middle class professionals, like I assume most of the people who post on this site are. No one I know (myself included) spanks their children. Yet I have seen those people Jeanne writes about having overheard when she lived in the south. They often appear to be of lower income, lower education, etc., at least from casual observation.

I was spanked as a kid, but not for Biblical reasons. And I don’t know anyone who was. I wonder if this isn’t just a conflation of a cultural predisposition toward spanking with a cultural predisposition toward overt religiosity by the sociology professor. It’s easy to see southern culture exclusively through the lens of religion if one wants to.

I thought the article was kind of strangely written, with very few poll details. I would love to know whether the poll emphasized belief in spanking as a discipline tool versus the actual practice of spanking. And whether it distinguished between the in-public “You better stop that RIGHT NOW, Missy!” kind of single swat and the “Three licks for X forbidden behavior” kind of spanking.

Anyway, I hate that these kinds of things tend to portray southerners monolithically; like every other population, we have our bright lights and our dim bulbs, and this kind of article tends to make us look a little less illuminated than I think we actually are (if I may push that metaphor a tiny bit too far).

I don’t spank, but I like your calm, rational comment.

I’m a 39 year old southern atheist so religion doesn’t enter the picture but my kids get spanked if they deserve it. My son is now 10 and serious belt spankings are few and far between. I wouldn’t be surprised if he never gets another one. He has turned into a respectful thoughtful child. My 7 year old daughter still gets popped on occasion. Belt spankings are for big offenses like lying or being blatantly disrespectful.

I’m surprised there has not been more of an outcry against spanking here. I have done it. I deeply regret it, and I won’t do it again. I believe it is wrong.

Sorry about the spelling errors in the above post. I wrote rather quickly. Not that this really matters, but I hail from the North and was raised with kids who did get spanked and those who did not. I’d say the majority of parents we know today do not spank.

I agree that spanking a child is the same as hitting an adult in that it’s unacceptable violence. I actually think it’s worse to hit a child – someone smaller than you who depends on you. I can understand that it happens. I’ve swatted my kids when they were doing something very dangerous, but I felt awful about it and plan to never let it happen again.

Alicia, I think you are commenting from a certain point of ignorance. I worked in retail while in college. And generally the really bad kids were the children of the parents more than happy to swat them in the store. My sister and I were “spanked.” Sure I turned out fine for the most part, my sister ended up with a nice coke problem for a couple of years. Then again, I know kids that were never spanked that were terrible also. Whether or not a parents spanks alone is not going to determine whether this kid behaves or not. Some of those talk it out parents you are complaining about may also be the same paretns that are not consistent with discipline and may also relent to their kids’ behavior. That I bet is why those kids are bad, not the lack of spanking. I do not think that parents that spank all hate their children, but in the end, how can you tell children not to hit and then do the same to them? Why is it acceptable to do something to a child that is considered negative to do to an adult?

When I was growing up when I did some thing really wrong my father would give me a leather belt strapping with ten hard straps with his big belt folded over across my back side fully clothed but it really hurt-I only got two of those belt strappings from my father when I was growing up-I can only speak for my self I do not have a problem with it-my father really taught me right from wrong with those belt strappings,and I respect my father very much for teaching me right from wrong.

I was raised by very-well-educated people, in a relatively affluent economic situation, and I was spanked when I was willfully disobedient. Little kids don’t have a lot of ability to understand WHY you shouldn’t pour sand into a drink. Telling then 5 times to stop and why that is “not okay” is not going to work on every kid. I have a very willful child. It is my DUTY to him to civilize him so that other people will like him as well. I don’t beat him, I spank him, and I do it before it hits critical mas and I am furious. I don’t have to do it that often, because when I tell him he is going to be spanked if he continues whatever behavior, he stops. As for the notion that we might be picking on someone smaller or that you shouldn’t do something you wouldn’t let the child do, well, I’d counter that there are plenty of things I can do as an adult that I would not allow my son to do. I am sure you are all smart enough to provide your own examples of such. I see so much of that reasoning and talking it out where I live. It is maddening to try to shop at the grocery store with “that lady” who lets her kids run wild while she feebly says “don’t do that, okaaayyyyy??” I think I am a anomalous these days, but I think I am raising a decent person who will understand how to behave himself both at home and in public.

Sorry, I’m a little late commenting. I’m sixteen years old and had parents from the south, though I live in Nigeria now… my older brothers and I were spanked rather frequently, but only because we were all so naughty. My parents never spanked us for childish mistakes like dropping something or even getting bad tests grades. We were spanked for being blatantly naughty. For example, lying, stealing, talking back, or being lazy, would get us a spanking only because we had a clear choice: do your chores or not, be polite or not, tell the truth or not… none of us grew up violent.

My parents spanked us because they viewed television and toys and such as privledges already, and taking them away wasn’t going to teach us to tell the truth- there is no connection between them.
I think by getting spanked, I learned that my parents were in charge of me and I was to obey them, or I would be turned over a knee. Even as as older child, I never connected the idea that spanking was violent, because my parents would always explain to us that we were being punished for being disobedient.

I live in a really religious family, but my parents do not spank me because they’re afraid of hell… they spank me because they see (okay, well I guess saw) it as a better alternative to putting me in a corner or taking away electronics.

I was raised in a nice neighborhood in Texas by my dad, a physician, after my mom died. I acted out quite a lot and was spanked on occasions when my disobedience was blatant. My dad wouldn’t spank me for things like bad grades or dropping china. If I swore or lied or backtalked, I’d get spanked. When I was little, maybe under six, it was bare bottom with his hand. When I was older, it would be clothed backside with a belt, usually.
My dad is a Christian, but I wasn’t punished because he thought it would keep me from hell. And always after my punishment, he’d make sure to show my how much he loved me and wanted what was best. I never EVER thought “if he hits me, he must not love me”. Also, my dad NEVER EVER hit my hands, as it discourages creativity in children.
I am 21 now, and most of my friends were spanked growing up. We are all intelligent, respectful, and creative. My older brother lives in Manhattan now with his wife, a native of Manhattan. When they visit her family, my brother is always shocked at how the kids behave. No, they aren’t demons, and they aren’t punching old ladies, but they aren’t obedient to their parents and they backtalk a lot. Obviously this happens lots of places, but I think there are a lot of different perceptions on what “behaving” is.

we are a family who spanks when its needed. i dont hit my kids out of anger that is not a spanking that is hitting. but we do use it as a form of punishment along with time out, privilage restrictions and conversation. sometimes just explaining to him what he is doing is wrong and y its wrong is enuff sometimes is not its child and situation is diffrent