babble » blogs » Strollerderby
Strollerderby
Dying Mom Trains Dad to Braid Hair, Turn on Dishwasher
When 29-year-old Jemma Oliver found out she would soon die of cervical cancer, she turned all of her attention on the future of her two young children. She filled out years worth of birthday cards, wrote letters, and even decided which schools they should attend.
Then she sat down with her husband and filled him in on all the rest. He called his days of household and parenting lessons his master class in motherhood.
The class included meeting with a stylist to learn how to braid his daughter’s hair, and explicit instructions to never shop for his daughter’s clothes without one of Oliver’s sisters with him.
Oliver also showed him how to run the house, including turning on the dishwasher.
If I only had a limited number of days left to live, I’m glad I could skip the dishwasher lesson. And I wouldn’t worry too much about my husband shopping for the girls. They’re just clothes.
But I totally get wanting to somehow have done everything to make things easier on the people you’re leaving behind. And also wanting to stay a presence in the kids’ lives even beyond their childhoods.
I think I would have also left behind a list of decisions I anticipate making (wait until they’re 13 to get their ears pierced, buying them a very slow and un-fun car to drive) and hopes I may have never expressed (such as wanting my husband will be the kind of dad who will always kiss and hug his son).
What about you? If you only had a few weeks to live, would you organize a bootcamp for the person who will be covering for you? What kind of things would you leave behind?
More Posts
They Say: Fetuses are Teachable
They Say: Smarts and Beauty Matter Less than Personality and Neatness for GPA
Boy Goes for 8-Mile River Ride in a Toy Truck
Photo: DailyMail.co.uk
Go Back To Strollerderby
5 Comments
[...] Dying Mom Trains Dad to Braid Hair, Turn on Dishwasher [...]
Woodstock Baby, are You Out There? | Strollerderby commented on Jul 21 09 at 1:00 pmJenni commented on Jul 21 09 at 11:13 amI’ve already made a list of all of our financial accounts (IRAs, etc), who our life insurance provider is, etc., since I manage our money. I should add more personal items to the list, though, like “no dating till age 15, don’t let father-son time only include the TV and a Wii game, be sure to go to the North Shore every few years…”
Marj commented on Jul 22 09 at 4:29 pmThe bit about years of birthday cards is really so sweet.
edamommy commented on Aug 07 09 at 9:51 pmHeartbreaking. If I had to leave my daughter and husband like that, I can only hope I’d be as focused and able to find ways to look after them long after I left. What an amazing, loving person this mother is.
Eve commented on Feb 15 10 at 11:08 amEveryone deals with their personal grief differently. I’d probably impart the same lessons and make a bunch of videos too.
Add your take:
Note: Babble is a supportive, diverse community. We encourage a range of opinions,
but any unduly hostile comments will be removed.
Comments are delayed up to 15 minutes
Joslyn Gray 
Amber Doty 
Julianna Miner 
Monica Bielanko 
Sierra Black 
Meredith Carroll 
Carolyn Castiglia 
Sunny Chanel 
Madeline Holler 
Wendy Michaels 
Rebecca Odes 
Danielle Smith 
Danielle Sullivan 
Katherine Stone 
The Walt Disney Company supports Babble as a platform dedicated to honest, engaged, informed, intelligent and open conversation about parenting. However, the opinions expressed on this site are those of individual parents/writers and do not reflect the views of Disney. In addition, content provided on this site is for entertainment or informational purposes only and should not be construed as medical advice, diagnosis, treatment, or safety advice.
5