don’t call BS on studies because of your anecdotal observations
genetic obesity is very rare
blame–or at least responsibility–needs to be there

This is an issue that is really important to me – sometimes I feel like my daughter is at risk for what amounts to a terminal illness and drastic intervention is justified. And sometimes, I think – she seems okay, so why panic now? I am thin. I have always been thin, and since I’m the least athletic person I’ve ever met I’ve never participated actively in any sports other than swimming, which I just do for the joy of it. I also really enjoy food and usually eat what I like. My father and mother are also thin – but my father came from a family where he and his father maintained a healthy weight while his mother and two sisters were morbidly obese. Incidentally, both his thin father and his morbidly obese mother passed away in their early 60s – a shorter lifespan than I would hope for. My mother’s family is all delicate bones and tiny thin bodies and they live forever. Almost all of my relatives have made is well past 90 and many are reaching 100. My husband comes from a family where obesity, diabetes, heart disease, and other health problems are rampant. Almost all of his family members have passed away at a shockingly young age – they are considered “old” at 60. His mother passed away at 50. All of his immediate family members are obese, as is he. This terrifies me when I think of our children. I have always eaten whatever I wanted and worked out only occasionally and then just because I enjoy it. My poor struggling husband is obsessed with his weight and berates himself for “failing” when he eats unhealthily, measures himself with tape constantly, falls for dieting gimmicks and pills and sweat suits and nonsense, and works out every weekday, sometimes twice a day – and the poor man just stays large. He might fluctuate up or down a little, but he will always be big – he’s just a big man. This has been going on for at least the 7 years we’ve been together. I realize how unfair it seems to him that he works so hard all the time and I (and many other naturally thin people) maintain a healthy weight effortlessly. I worry about how his fixation with his weight will affect my daughter as she gets older – I want her to embrace eating healthy and exercising especially given her genetic burden – but I would hate to see the self-loathing and vitriol in her that I see in my poor husband. And – I think the occasional cupcake or lolipop is one of the joys of childhood, and I hate to see her missing out on that (she’s four, and last night I offered her a small slice of cake and instead she requested some sugarless gum.) My husband tells her frequently that “fat people are disgusting” and other negative statements that I know really just reflect his feelings of failure – but I am concerned about how she is supposed to rectify these negative (and untrue – my husband and his family are beautiful loving people with many positive attributes) statements with the fact that many members of her family are “fat.” Genetics have power – but how much and in what combinations? And choices can be made, but it seems that it’s a lifelong uphill struggle for some and I’m not sure I would want that for my family. Maybe we would be better off if we could just accept people for who they are rather than how much they weigh.