More Creepy Pregnancy Art: BEWARE Before You Click

Who knew baby shower shopping could be so . . . scary? Because for all the adorable onesies out there and sweet little blankies, I have to go and be different.

I wanted something unique for a friend’s first pregnancy. Something memorable. But not this . . .

What is it? Look again . . . that, my friends, is the moment the baby’s head crowns. And, yes, the curvy lines surrounding what might be mistaken for a nut at first glance represents mom’s vulva (not her vagina).

And it can be yours to wear on your neck in a sweet little choker for years to come! Or, you know, locked in a box somewhere immediately after the baby shower, never to be brought out again.

As a woman who has been through natural childbirth, I’m not grossed out by this. But I am plenty freaked - as I am by all those fertility statues that show women’s cha chas splayed to the world with the baby on its way out.

It’s natural folks, but remember, I’ve been through natural childbirth. It wasn’t beautiful. It was bloody (and for a great percentage of women poopy!) and loud and painful and . . . should I really go on here? My daughter was the beautiful part of it all. In fact, when my OB/GYN went on and on about the wonders of the placenta and offered me the chance to check it out, I looked him square in the eye and told him very politely, “No offense, but I’m more interested in her,” and turned my head back to the little table where nurses were drying her off, sucking out her airways and getting her ready to be placed in my arms.

So what’s with all the crowing baby art? Are you buying?

Image: DoulaHara (where you can buy this pendant if that’s your thing)

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Tags: baby shower, bizarre, creepy, crowning baby, delivery, infant, Jeanne Sager, labor and delivery, newborn, placenta, pregnancy