Taking a Nanny on Vacation: Smart or Tacky?

When I was in high school I was hired to nanny one of my regular babysitting charges while the family was vacationing in the Florida Keys. Our families were friends, so it didn’t really seem awkward and I was very excited to spend time with them on vacation (and get paid to be there!) Unfortunately, the father was diagnosed with cancer the day before we were scheduled to fly out. The trip was canceled and he died about 6 months later…

I was a full-time nanny for three years for a family with three kids under the age of three. I went on MANY vacations with them in that time. We worked it out as part of my contract that I could get paid my regular salary on vacations and no overtime. Instead, they paid for everything (flight, my own hotel room, food, activities, etc). I had a blast and am so glad I was included on these trips. I got to see parts of the world I could have never seen on my own.

When I traveled with the family it wasn’t so they could get less time with their kids… it was so they could have more. When the baby needed a nap, I could go back to the hotel room and put him down while they stayed out with the older kids. If they wanted to go out to dinner at night… no problem. When they wanted to watch the older kids get their ski school graduation certificates they didn’t need to worry about the baby being out in the cold for an hour… I could stay back with him. Plus, anytime you can increase the adult-child ratio I think everyone has a good time! Once the youngest was walking taking the three to DIsneyLand was easier with a one adult to one child ratio.

I think you are being a little harsh. I loved the kids I cared for. I still keep in touch with them and they’re a big part of my life. Yes, I was paid help, but I also think I was part of the family.

Gee, I don’t have money for a nanny or a vacation.

Of course, I believe in keeping it down to one or two kids at most, anyway.

A few of my cousins did this for aunts and uncles when we were growing up - so it wasn’t a nanny per se, it was an extra relative coming to help out. But these were families who didn’t have nannies taking care of their kids full-time. In those instances, I totally agree with you Jen - vacation is the one time when you have the luxury of actually spending with your kids. Do you really want to waste that?

On the other hand, I know a few parents who have done the Disney cruise or something similar and their kids have spent a few hours in the “daycare” on the boat while Mom and Dad relaxed a little.

Considering our “vacation” means staying at my in-laws, I don’t see anything wrong with a short Mommy and Daddy break to just enjoy a bit of adult on vacation. My in-laws will usually watch our daughter one night so we can go out and just do whatever.

But when Mommy and Daddy are taking a vacation and more or less packing their kids and the nanny as an accessory - oh HELL no people.

We plan to do a nice vacation sometime in the next year (it keeps getting put off due to budget concerns) and we have already arranged for our regular baby sitter to come too. We’ll pay his way, hotel, food, etc. and give him cash when he’s with the kids alone to meet their needs. We’ll also give him about half the time we’re there free for himself. No regular pay. That’s the deal. Basically, if we’re gone for two weeks, he gets a week worth of vacation and we get a week worth of child care so we can do adult things together.

I guess some people have this idea that “nanny” is a stranger. In our case, we think of it as extra family along for both fun and help. I don’t think we’d spend the money to go on a fancy vacation unless we could get help. I just wouldn’t find it very relaxing with my kids this young and dependent. I’d just as soon stay home.

We haven’t brought a nanny on vacation, but we have brought my parents, and it was great. We still had plenty of time to have fun with our son, but he goes to bed early, and my parents stayed with him in the house we rented so we could go out and have a few dates.

If I had the money and felt close enough to the nanny, I don’t really see a problem with this. I think it is a lot to assume that parents who bring a nanny on vacation are uninvolved.

Knitty, with the unemployment rate so high, it is probably good that those with means continue paying someone like a nanny, and giving her the extra income.

Gosh, that does seem hard. I think e said it very well. Particularly when there is more than one child involved, it’s helpful to have extra hands to allow all the kids to get some individual time with mom and dad and still accomodate everyone’s needs. I was a nanny many years ago and went with the family very naturally. If the nanny is being treated like a member of the family and alternating various kid responsibilities then I think it makes the trip nicer for everyone. Certainly I always appreciated getting to do things that definitely were not in my own personal budget. Now that I have my own child and another on the way I would definitely do some version of this if I could afford it. We just recently hired a sitter to come to a wedding with us. Our toddler was able to be there and dance his little booty off (one of his favorite things to do) but the sitter was able to take him for a walk during the ceremony so that he wasn’t disruptive. It was one of our dearest friend’s weddings, so we didn’t consider it an option that one of us would skip the ceremony. So in this case involving a sitter in our outing allowed us to have more time with our son. He, being too small to sit through a ceremony, would have had to stay home if we hadn’t had her help.

What about a real vacation for the parents? I babysat for a weekend vacation once that two families took together, and with me there, the parents could leave the kids with me and go out for a nice dinner. *That’s* a vacation, not being forced to rely on room service, take-out food, or a 5 o’ clock dinner time in order for the parents to eat together, especially with young kids. Shoot, my husband and I are planning a weeklong trip in which we will leave our boys with my parents. It’s been 3+ years since we had a real vacation like this, child-free, and I can’t tell you how much I’m looking forward to it! Museums! Not having to stop every 90 minutes! Boring-for-kids historical sites! A wedding! None of this means that I hate my kids. I’m just looking forward to a real vacation. End of story. If we had the means, I’d take a nanny in a heartbeat. I think that it’d be more fun for the kids too.

Jeanne wrote: “But when Mommy and Daddy are taking a vacation and more or less packing their kids and the nanny as an accessory - oh HELL no people.” If people are doing this on vacation, they’re doing it on non-vacation, too. I would say that these people shouldn’t even be having kids. Although I guess that they do keep a nanny employed…

I think taking a nanny on vacation is ok only when whole family feels comfortable. I was a “Vacation Nanny” when the family comes out on the weekend to their summer house. They were a lovely family. But it was clear to me that the kids wanted to spend more time with their parents. After all, it was a family vacation. Now I have two of my own kids, we don’t go anywhere without kids…wedding, parties, vacations, dinner… Sure, I would love to go out with my husband alone, but those days will come soon enough.

Like several others have mentioned, I went on a couple family vacations as “the babysitter”. In my case, I wasn’t “paid” but they did pay for my airfare, I stayed with them, and they covered my food and did give me a little “pin money”. There were, however, four children (a singlton and trips), and its like another said - I was a spare pair of hands to help out. Otherwise, the vacation would not have been much of a vacation for the parents. I do think you’re being a touch too harsh.

All of these comments are great. You’re right, e, not every set of parents who brings a nanny along is necessarily dismissive and uninvolved. And I agree with Lisa, nothing wrong with bringing along help, as long as you’re actually still spending time with the family. I also think there is a big difference between using a daycare on a cruise or at a resort — as Jeanne mentions — vs. having a nanny or babysitter spend most of his/her time with the kids. I guess ultimately this is like all things related to parenting: what’s “appropriate” all depends on the situation and how mom and dad handle things.

I’ve been a nanny for the last 14 years and in that time have gone on more than my share of family vacations. They paid for all travel-related expenses and I was always paid my regular salary, plus any overtime due me. I can’t imagine NOT being paid. I am still working, whether we are home or in a different location, and it is not a vacation for me. In fact, it is far more difficult than being at home. The kids aren’t in their own beds so they don’t sleep as well and there is so much going on they often get over-tired and cranky. I’ve had some great experiences travelling with families on vacation but my preference really is not to go, only because I find it so stressful. However, I think when you have a full-time nanny you just get used to having help and there isn’t anything wrong with that, and since it is my job, if they want me to go, I go. Watching the kids while my employers spend an afternoon together on their vacation I think is a wonderful example to give their children on putting their marriage as a top priority.

I don’t know If I said it already but …This blog rocks! I gotta say, that I read a lot of blogs on a daily basis and for the most part, people lack substance but, I just wanted to make a quick comment to say I’m glad I found your blog. Thanks,

A definite great read….