it would have been impossible to keep my 2 year olds gender a secret. he just loooooved taking off his pants.

Ali, I highly doubt the kid actually a hermaphrodite. With my experience with Swedish culture (my husband is Swedish and we go there frequently), I would guess that the child is a boy. Societal wise, Sweden has been a country that has worked very hard to get equal rights at all levels for women and it has had some strange consequeces (mostly positive). I remember a while back there was this push to get urinals out of the country! This kid is more than likely going to turn out just fine.

If they want to be the only ones changing their baby, I’m sure everyone around them will be only too happy to oblige them.

Good for them.

Abusive how? I sort of wish we’d done the same with my daughter. Having one of each, I’m shocked even by my own double standards with the two kids. Loud, yelling, spoon banging boy in a restaurant: Smiles and Boys will be boys. My even louder, bangier girl, frowns and that’s not very lady like.

When my son was about I had people tell me they thought he was a girl “because he was so friendly”.

I will agree with Rimomma. There is a better way of doing this. Now I for one don’t believe that gender is just a bunch of stereotypes set upon us by society. Boys and girls are wired differently. Yes, there will be the exceptions to the rule. My sister growing up, was a big time tomboy. As she has gotten older she started to wear make up, actually pay attention to her figure and where more girly like clothing, but she will still never be caught in a dress. I was a girly girl growing up, I loved the dresses, and doing my hair. I played with barbies, my sister played with action figures. I tried to play with her action figures, but they were boring. She was forced to play barbies with me, and we both played with dolls. My sister grew up and is now 27 years old and a very proud member of the lesbian community. As I have gotten older I have moved further away from being a girly girl. I hate the color pink, I don’t really care to do much with my hair, I never paint my finger nails, and I play video games just as much as my husband. I am obviously straight, and I have two wonderful children. A boy, and a girl. I do not plan to keep their gender a secret.

With that all being said, I believe there are certain things that are believed to be more for women then men, and vice versus. Pink became a girls color way back when after they gave blue to boys. They gave blue to boys because it was the color of the virgin Mary, and pink came about 50-100 years ago, it has no significant meaning. It was given to girls, simply to make them different.

But no matter, we have differences. Our brains are different, we have a bunch of different characteristics, and we go about doing this differently. We are wired to be that way. Not everything is set upon us by society. Trying to change that just seems foolish. Change all of the stereotypes set upon us by society all you want, but don’t try and mess with peoples brains.

Science has already done this and proven that boys and girls are different. That’s a fact. The parents of a little boy who had his penis cut off by mistake during his circumcision tried to raise him as a girl. HE thought he was a girl. But he never quite fit in with other girls. Testerone or whatever hormone that makes us different is a fact. He played rougher than the other girls. He took more risks than the other girls. Basically, he was the classic tomboy and he thought he was gay. While I don’t believe the stereotype of little girls being sweet, quiet and nurturing – because I’m not – I do think there is a difference between the sexes – even in childhood – and trying to act like there’s not is ludicrous.

For those of you stating that boys and girls are naturally different in behaviour from birth, you’re both right and wrong. Children generally do not develop a sense of gender identity until between 2 and 5 years old depending on the child. My 18 month old daughter has no idea she is a girl. She might notice that her genitals and clothing are slightly different from other babies, but she doesn’t know that it’s related to sex. She might be a little different from boys on certain levels, but it’s all sex related, it has nothing to do with gender. I think a lot of commenters are forgetting there is a massive difference between sex and gender. Sex is between your legs, gender is between your ears. I disclose my daughters sex, she is female and there’s nothing wrong with telling people that, but her gender? Well, I don’t know her gender. She doesn’t have one yet. Yes, I put her unruly hair in pigtails. Yes, she has dolls. Yes, she wears skirts when hot weather makes skirts more practical. But for every skirt she owns, she also owns a hoodie with a truck on it. For every doll there’s a toy tool kit or car. She is exposed to just as many traditional family models as she is to my wonderful queer and transgendered friends, or stay at home dads and working moms. When she’s old enough to express her own gender identity that’s what I’ll go with. If she changes her mind down the road, what’s the harm in letting my daughter cut her hair off and call herself by a more masculine name (although her name is Sam, so that won’t be a factor) if that’s how she defines herself? That’s what I believe in, embrace your child’s sex, and when the time comes embrace their gender too, whatever it may be. I think the couple in question is missing the point too. There’s likely no gender to hide, the kid is probably still too young to get the concept. Why bother hiding the baby’s sex? That’s something the child was born with that wont change until at the very earliest 18 when reassignment for a trans individual becomes possible (which is statistically unlikely, but still something we as parents should be supportive of and prepared for). They’re just reenforcing body issues by hiding sex, why not embrace both sex and gender regardless of whether or not they match? That’s what I’ll be doing with my daughter, who, as of yet, is still my daughter. If she becomes my son down the road I’ll love him to pieces just the same.