Strollerderby

It’s All Jon’s Fault? No Way

Posted by brettsinger on June 23rd, 2009 at 2:30 pm

jon and kate divorce1 Its All Jons Fault? No WayNot to defend Jon Gosselin, but I felt like a comment on Jeanne’s announcement of the Jon – Kate news (get it? Jon MINUS Kate? Oh, the witticism) needed a male response.

Here are excerpts from the comment I’m referring to:

While I realize that Kate has been bossy with regards to her husband, Jon has been such a wimp! Is it her fault that he can’t find the b***s to stand up for himself? He finally makes a stand, only to have an affair and decide he wants to leave. Wow, what a man! … Jon needs to GROW UP. He kept saying ‘ I’m only 32 years old’. SO WHAT?? Your age isn’t the issue here Jon, the fact that you are a father and a husband is. Stop thinking with the wrong head you fool! I feel sad for Kate and the kids… I do think those children are happy happy kids and have been very well taken care of. They obviously feel loved. When I first started watching the show I thought Jon was a great dad… now I think he just another typical male, all about himself.

You can read the full version here.

No offense to the commenter, but I’ve heard this “Jon is a wimp”/”Jon isn’t a real man” thing being bandied about elsewhere, and I have trouble with it.

What is a “real man”? Chris Brown, who allegedly hit Rihanna hard enough to render her unconscious? (I say “allegedly” because, thanks to his plea deal, we’ll probably never hear an official version of the story.) I agree that a marriage is something that BOTH people should work hard for, not throw away when things get tough. (Which is something that, to be fair, the commenter also said.) But how can you tell me that “the kids…have been very well taken care of. They obviously feel loved” and then give credit for that only to the mother, in this case Kate? As I understand it, Kate is the one who has been on a book tour and out doing various other promotional events and paid speaking engagements, while Jon was the one who stayed home. How does that make him “another typical male, all about himself”?

I should point out that I don’t for one minute think that Jon is some kind of great guy. Nor do I think Kate is in the running for Mom of the Year. But in truth, we don’t really know what kind of people they are. They have a television show, which is called “reality” but isn’t real at all. It’s TV. It is entirely possible that the Gosselins have other issues that aren’t being discussed on the air.

The biggest problem that I have with the show is the fact that it exists. The parents, Jon and Kate Gosselin, are the people who decided that it was a good idea to have that many children. In fact, they worked hard at it, using IUI. It wasn’t an accident. The Gosselins talk a lot about religion, and have benefited greatly from that association. But the question of whether or not it was a good idea – whether it was moral – to put their children’s lives on television, that they never considered. They have the nerve to blame “the media” for their marital problems. Maybe having that many children, and then televising the whole thing, was just a bad idea. I hate saying “what about the children?” But it really feels appropriate in this case.

So please, go ahead. Blame them both. But the idea that this divorce is happening because “Jon doesn’t have the balls” to stand up to his wife is just as wrong as the idea that the whole situation is due to the “fact” that “Kate is a bitch.” Both things might be true. Or not. But no matter what, it takes two to make a thing go wrong.

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 Its All Jons Fault? No Way

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8 Comments

[...] It’s All Jon’s Fault? No Way [...]

10 Million Watched Jon and Kate Divorce Show | Strollerderby commented on Jun 23 09 at 9:13 pm

[...] CHECK OUT: If Jon Gosselin Needed a Diaper Bag – This Would Be It It’s All Jon’s Fault – No Way [...]

Jon Gosselin Starting a Clothing Line for Kids? Really? | Strollerderby commented on Jul 14 09 at 12:52 am

Yeah, I think the commenter lost all credibility with the “typical male” line. I can’t believe you dignified that comment with a response.

Dad commented on Jun 23 09 at 2:46 pm

Regardless of everything else said here, I just feel I have to clarify here some misinformation here about the infertility treatment IUI (intrauterine insemination). In truth, IUI almost always results in ONE baby. It is a very different, far less invasive procedure than in vitro. There is only a one in a million chance of ending up with six babies using IUI. Actually, it WAS an accident that the Gosselins ended up with sextuplets. They actually only wanted one more child (after the twins)–and I don’t think desiring three children is all that unusual. When they found out 6 embryos had resulted from the 1 procedure, they were very upset (reportedly, per Kate’s first memoir). It is true, though, that their religious beliefs prevented them from choosing to terminate some of the embryos. Of course people will differ as to whether they agree with that choice, but it’s one of personal morals in that situation, I guess. Anyway, it has bothered me to read in various places comments about them “abusing fertility treatments” or “knowing they would end up with multiples” if they used IUI, etc. That’s simply not true, which isn’t to say I’m defending all their other actions.

Shannon commented on Jun 23 09 at 2:48 pm

I do not think the abused infertility treatments…in the comment above you sayd there is a one in a million chance of ending up with six…so in fact they DID know there was a chance they would end up with multiples.

I agree that this is really about deciding to exploit their children on TV for personal gain. It’s disgusting. Now their divorce will play out on TV. Can you imagine putting that family DVD in the player at 21, 35,45…
Keep it classy TLC, keep it classy

Kelly commented on Jun 23 09 at 2:56 pm

Kelly- There is a one in a million chance of a lot of things we do regurely going bad. That is a really poor argument to say the intended to have 6 kids. I knew I had a risk of death having my kids but I did it anyway hoping to be on the good side of that risk.
I really wish StrollerDerby bloggers would see that this family is in peril and back off. There are better things to blog about.

Twyla commented on Jun 23 09 at 5:04 pm

I’m not saying they intended to have six kids. On their own site, though, Kate says that they “were told that there were 3 with a possibility of 4″ kids if they used IUI (http://www.sixgosselins.com/qanda/qanda2.html). Even without being on television, that many children can be difficult for a couple.

Brett Singer commented on Jun 23 09 at 7:31 pm

Going back to the originally quoted comment, I think she went out into left field with “typical male”. Sorry if that’s your typical; but it isn’t mine. She is spot-on with the fact that he needs to grow up, it isn’t his age in question here, but the fact that he’s the father of eight. And as for his “lacking nads”, well, he just has always come across as VERY passive aggressive to my viewing (the little bit I’ve actually watched this trip), whether or not Kate was having a kvetch moment. Personally, I figured they were a perfect match, a screeching harpy and a passive aggressive doof.
So no. I don’t feel its “all Jon’s fault”. For what little my opinion is worth (because really, we aren’t involved, we’re just spectators) I feel its an equal at-fault. But really? Does that even matter if PA has “no fault divorce”?

PlumbLucky commented on Jun 24 09 at 7:22 am

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