Canadian Province’s Finance Minister Fuels the Mommy Wars
Lest we think it’s just here in the US that we tear each other to shreds over social policy, in Canada there’s been a huge controversy over Iris Evans, finance minister of the Canadian province of Alberta, making remarks that were critical of two-career families.
While answering questions after a speech to the Economic Club of Canada in Toronto, Evans said she believes good parenting means that one parent stays at home with the children while they are young, as her own children have done.
According to the CBC website, she said this: “They’ve understood perfectly well that when you’re raising children, you don’t both go off to work and leave them for somebody else to raise. This is not a statement against daycare. It’s a statement about their belief in the importance of raising children properly.”
Okay, fine, if that’s your belief, fine, and I’ll give her credit for not assuming it must be the mom to stay home. I don’t necessarily agree with it; I think every family has to make the best decision for themselves, and the best solution to the needs of the children and the grownups can take many forms.
Also, Canada even has a real maternity leave policy, unlike the US – you get a year off at a certain percentage of your salary to care for a new child, and your employer needs to keep your job or its equivalent open for you. So it’s especially interesting to me that even there, where there is meaningful family leave, the wars still rage.
I think it’s ridiculous that we even have this debate between SAHM and WOHMs or whatever here in the US when for many people, especially in this economy, there really isn’t a choice. Want to keep that job you love and have worked hard for? You’re back to work at three months at the latest, like it or not. A lot of women I know who would have made the choice to go back to work if they’d been able to spend a bit more time with their babies became stay at home moms because they couldn’t stomach the idea of handing their tiny baby off to a daycare provider, while others really wanted and needed to go back to work and cried in the car every day for the first few months because they had to go back before either one of them were ready.
The other thing that makes me mad about this is Evans is showing a real reluctance to own her words after saying something so snotty. She told the CBC she wished “someone else” had been the one to say it.
According to her bio, she has been a member of Alberta’s legislative assembly for 11 years and before that had an 18-year career in municipal politics. Which means, unless she’s older than she looks or had her kids super young, she was raising children for at least part of that time. Pot, kettle, Iris?
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Tags: Alberta, Calgary, Canada, daycare, difficult decisions, Edmonton, Iris Evans, maternity leave, Mommy Wars, nannies, stay-at-home parents, two-career families, working prents
15 Comments
Ali commented on Jun 22 09 at 3:20 pmShe is right. I have never understood why people who can afford to stay home with their child opt to pay a stranger to raise them so they can work. When you have children their needs come first, yours second.
Bluster commented on Jun 22 09 at 3:24 pmFinance minister makes, what, $250,00 (US) per year? I know parents, both working, who don’t make $35,000 a year combined. Some of those grow up, knowing what the real world is like, and some of them turn out to be pretty decent people. How did that happen???
ChiLaura commented on Jun 22 09 at 3:43 pmDid her husband stay home with the kids?
I don’t think that it’s a “ridiculous” debate; it reflects how people and society view children and family. I think that it’s fine to make a choice and think that other people didn’t make “the right choice.” It’s a part of decision-making and of figuring out your own priorities. I don’t think that others should be called “bad people” because they’ve made different choices, or demonized because of their choices, but disagreement is just the way things go. Big deal.
Bean's Mom commented on Jun 22 09 at 8:33 pmI’d love to stay at home for a few years to raise my next child, but American work culture does not support it. At least in Canada you get a year maternity leave and health insurance that is unrelated to employment. In the US it’s four months of unpaid leave. It’s not even the loss of an income that I am worried about as we have been saving up and feel that we can make do with less. I actually considered leaving my job after the birth of my next child. Then I started to realize, what about the family’s health insurance that is connected to my work? What about the retirement that I have been slowly saving up for? All those things we would lose if I were to quit my job This is why people stay at work. It’s not because people prefer being away from their children.
Shana commented on Jun 22 09 at 10:41 pmI went to daycare as a kid and I loved it. It was awesome. I looked forward to getting away from my mother. Then again I am not close to either of my parents.
I am going to be staying home with my first for at least a year. Part of that has to do with the fact that I have chosen to change careers anyways. I worked in the fashion industry, and despite it being full of women, it is terribly unfriendly to mothers. A friend of mine worked from home during her leave and returned a month early only to be fired a couple of months later. My former boss returned from her leave early (that partly had to do with a lot of her remaining employees not being responsible or qualified enough to take her place while she was gone though) and another woman I formerl worked with finally just decided to quit her job because her boss would complain about her heading home at five thirty and working from home for the rest of the evening. Another boss of mine at an old company made a starting salary offer to a woman who had years of experience of $30,000 because as she saw it that woman had taken a year off to raise her kid and would take anything she was offered (she smartly stormed out of the office). Some of it has to do with bosses just wanting you to be there for no reason other than to be there. I personally experienced a boss chastising me for leaving work at six, despite the fact that I always came to work a half hour early and finsihed everything. I had no more work for the day, and yet she felt that I should stay late just because some other girl that could not finish her work on time did.
I can understand what this minister is saying for the sheer fact that there is no reason that a parent should feel forced to return to work immediately in Canada. And there is nothing wrong with her simply stating her opinion. In the US though, that is not an option for many parents, which shows a lot about what is wrong with our government and corporate America.
Sheri commented on Jun 22 09 at 11:04 pmThe mommy wars are stupid. Do what you want, just leave me out of it. Really. Some of the work at home moms and working moms say they don’t want to fight the war and then say something like “I need more stimulation than I would get than staying home.” Really??? So, I’m like an idiot who obviously has nothing going for them because well, I find this stimulating??? I have outside interests. I read. I do things. Really. I don’t spend my days doing housework while my kids veg in front of the tv or get bored. I either have them help me (yeah, they think it is fun), make a game out of whatever we are doing (they love to put stamps on stuff) or I run errands when my husband is home and he takes over for a few. I don’t have a problem with you working. If it is what you want to do, go for it. But don’t act all open minded while slamming SAHMs either. Because in the end, life and motherhood is what you make of it. And we all have different lives and choices.
GP commented on Jun 23 09 at 6:41 amAmen, Sheri.
MomofBeans commented on Jun 23 09 at 9:52 amI am so over this whole debate. I honestly don’t care what anyone else is doing. I have too much crap in my own life to worry about. Just found out that I’m pregnant again and have no clue how I’m going to pull this off. Crunching numbers as we speak. Insurance through Hub’s work will cost $1000/month. Daycare for all kids will cost $1800/month (if we stick with current daycare, which we love). The idea of continuing to commute 80 miles/day, while working one full-time job (and one part-time job from home) is totally unappealing to me, mainly because I think I might have a nervous breakdown. This is the time where I could really use some good advice from other moms who have been in the same position, because I really have no idea what I’m going to do…instead, I’m afraid of what I’ll hear (So far both sides of the “mommy wars” in my own social circle have weighed in, but with nothing helpful, comforting, or even practical). Am strongly thinking about growing and selling weed. Just kidding, btw.
GP commented on Jun 23 09 at 11:54 amUhm, ever hear of birth control?
MomofBeans commented on Jun 23 09 at 12:15 pmUm, yeah GP. I have. Have you heard of a condom ripping? Jesus. Why do I bother. Forget I asked. This place is starting to make Urban Baby look like Sesame Street.
GP commented on Jun 23 09 at 12:32 pmOK, sorry, that was snide. But, seriously, what are the odds? You must have the worst luck, man.
Me commented on Jun 23 09 at 12:55 pmFirst a note she is from Alberta and a Tory (Conservative) , Alberta is the Texas of Canada, every soft cuddly thing you think you know about Canada does
not apply…
And MomofBeans, that is hard stuff, I am now making 20% of my last years pay, we have had to make huge changes in our life.
Why the huge commute
Manjari commented on Jun 23 09 at 1:28 pmGP, what an obnoxious comment! A mom comments that she could use support and advice from other moms, and you say THAT?
MomofBeans commented on Jun 23 09 at 3:14 pmHonestly, my luck is not so great in that respect, but I am actually happy to be pregnant again. I’m freaking the eff out, yeah, but I do consider this a blessing, not a punishment. It’s just hard to focus on the “blessing” aspect when I am hormonal and worried. I am lucky to be employed and have a job that is at least somewhat family friendly (non-profit, so not high paying, but friendly). I took the job before I got pregnant the first time, and we bought a house that was outside of the city bc that’s what met our budget, etc. I thought I could find a job closer to home, but it just hasn’t happened. I know, when I am not busy weeping and eating peanut butter cups, that we will make this work…because we have to. I really just wanted to see if anyone had “been there” and come up with a creative solution.
GP commented on Jun 23 09 at 5:42 pmSorry, again! You’ll be fine. I have made comments on Babble that are very pro SAH…but I’ve been thinking alot lately of how it is often, in America, about luck whether someone can do that or not. I have this false vision of bitchy CEO types who can’t handle being alone with their kids all day, and the more I search my soul, the more I think that this is probably not the typical working mom. It’s sad that moms have to work when they would rather be with their kids.
