Let’s start with a “yes, Virginia, the world is still a scary place” item. Current TV reporters Laura Ling (sister of former View co-host Lisa) and Euna Lee were sentenced to 12 years of hard labor for sneaking across the North Korean border. Hillary Clinton is urging the country “to grant clemency” for the pair. It’s terrible that they’ve been sentenced, but I will say that sneaking into North Korea was a very dumb move. I hope the U.S. is able to get them out safely. I also hope no other young journalist does what Lee and Ling did.

President Obama has pledged to create 600,000 new jobs this summer. I know it’s dopey but whenever I hear talk about “creating jobs” I always think of something silly. Like, “Hey, maybe you can pick up my dry cleaning and I’ll give you 10 bucks. Look! I created a job!” I know that’s not what “creating jobs” means. As I’ve said, economics is not my strong suit. (Eggs, however. I make really good eggs. And homemade pizza. Everyone likes my homemade pizza.)

Apple announced a new iPhone! It takes video! It will do your laundry and cook for you! One of these statements is a big fat lie! Guess which!

More Apple news. You can now get an 8GB iPhone 3G for only $99 when you sign up for a contract (no pint of blood required!), and there are new Macbooks to be had for less money. BUT the batteries can’t be removed. Steve Jobs giveth, Steve jobs taketh away.

In other cell phone news, Sprint announced that the June 6 launch of the Palm Pre broke company sales records. Dude! They sold, like, 24 phones. That so rocks. (Note: they probably sold more than 24 phones. But considering some stores had less than 10 of the darn things in stock, I can’t imagine the total number was all that high.) In case anyone is curious, I went to a Best Buy and checked out a Pre. It wasn’t live so I couldn’t test any of the features, but I can confirm that Gizmodo is 100% right about one thing. The edge is dangerously sharp. Bizarrely so, actually. Almost weapon-grade. Hopefully Palm stays in business long enough to make a phone that won’t threaten to open a vein when you want to send a text.

File this with all of my other items about people who seem to feel the need to live their lives in public. Brooke Hogan “broke down in tears” on her Reality TV Show ‘Booke Knows Best’,  “as the reality of her parent’s divorce hit home.” Hulk Hogan also cried. Really. I know. You’re shocked. I hope the Hogans get paid really, really well for this nonsense. If not, there’s really no point to it all. Hulk’s ex-wife Linda (Brooke’s mom) is now living with a 19-year-old named Charlie Hill. This quote, from the Hulkster, I have a hard time disagreeing with: “I can’t believe I busted my body every night for 30 years to build that home and now a 19-year-old is living in it.” I can see where that might be upsetting. Hulk smash.

The British are less uptight about nudity than we are. Case in point: a group of Oxford students “bared all” (ha ha) for a naked calendar in order to raise money for charity. Can you imagine the outcry if they did this at Harvard?

Finally, let’s finish off with some news about… Sarah Palin! (Remember her? Vice-Presidential candidate? Hockey mom, lipstick, pigs, all that stuff? Seems like such a long time ago, doesn’t it? Ah well… “Sunrise, Sunset…”) Apparently there was “confusion” as to whether or not the Alaska Governor would attend a GOP fundraiser in New York. Well — and I hope you’re sitting down — she did! But she didn’t speak. Actor Jon “No, really, I know my grandkids’ names” Voight is the emcee. (“Everybody’s talkin’ at me… I don’t hear a word they’re sayin’…”) Oh, and in case you were wondering, Palin still has a serious mad on for wolves, according to the San Francisco Chronicle. So now ya know.

Image: Gawker

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