OK, so I have to laugh as I read this… because EVERY.ONE.OF.THOSE.WAS.SAID.TO.ME. Even more fun were the nursing questions/ comments, and the oh-so careless NICU comments… and sometimes at night, when you have a moment of silence, you plop down on the couch and *think* about what your next snarky response to those questions will be the next time someone asks. xoxo

That one about having a “spare” really pisses me off. Last Halloween, there was a news story about this woman who was mad as she pulled out of her driveway so she wound up hitting either one or two little girls from a set of triplets; one died. I remember how stricken with grief I was for that mama and the remaining little girls. What in the hell is wrong with people… I’m pretty sure the mama didn’t consider that possibility of having a spare (rolls eyes). I figure if I ever come across a mama with a set of multiples, I’d just tell the parent(s) how adorable the little ones are, and that they’re doing an awesome job. I figure a pat on the back would be appreciated – I’d hope it wouldn’t be deemed offensive.

I am a mom of fraternal twin boys and I get a lot of these. I get the “you have your hands full”, “Are they twins?” “Which one is older?”, “Better you than me”, “I had kids a year apart so they are like twins,” “Do twins run in your family?”

Now that they are older the comments are less because one twin is bigger and I assume people think he is a little older. Actually people argue with me about them being twins and don’t believe me sometimes! When I was pregnant I was a tiny girl and I grew all belly. When people would tell me I was about ready to go into labor and I was only 20 weeks it kinda stunk. Like “I freaking hope not because I am only 20 weeks!” I also had people tell me I was too small to have twins. Thanks, so you are saying they are going to be preemies or stillborns then? Thanks again.

I have one very striking redhead and a pretty browney blonde. The redhead attracts a lot of attention. He is also the more outgoing one. So it really stinks when people freak out and gush over the redhead and totally ignore my other son standing right there like he doesn’t exist. If you are complimenting one twin, please say something nice about the other kids please.

Funny, but I actually get asked or told I should have more kids instead of people telling me I am done. Maybe it is because in public at least I look like super mom a lot because I am super nice and look put together and look like I have a lot of fun with my kids. So people tell me I need more or should have more. The answer is always “No way” or “Twins is enough thanks.” The sad part is the real answer is I could not have more without putting my life in danger and using fertility drugs and bedrest and expensive medications, etc. So you know…… thanks for reminding me of medical problems.

I agree with all except the ” wanting” twins comment. As a mom of two beautiful and healthy singleton boys and one deceased baby girl (first baby)…I have always welcomed the blessing of twins. I know they would be hard, but I have twin nieces that are now 16 and they are best friends. It was such a joy to watch them grow together. I’m not greedy though :) and I count my blessings, and when I see moms of multiplies, my first thought is God Bless for all if the right reasons. Great article.

I have 22 month old b/g twins and a 3 year old daughter. I have gotten all these questions. The one that does drive me crazy, as Jean mentioned in her comment is are they identical, ummmmmmmm, no boy and girl, NOT POSSIBLE!!!! I do take offence to the IVF question or any other question about using fertility treatments, not because there is any shame in it, but because it is not as simple as IVF, there are many different fertility treatments and it really is none of anyone’s business to ask. It is a personal question.

When I was pregnant with the twins, I was huge, I am only 5 feet tall and I was as wide as I was tall, and I had one lady in a parking lot ask me if I was having triplets, uh no, just twins, thanks! And when all three of my kids were freaking out at the grocery store one day this older man said “looks like you had one to many kids”, again thanks.

I could go on and on, it truly is amazing that people feel the automatic right to ask you anything because you had two or more kids at one time. Did we know we were having twins, yeah….and the arguing with us if we are sure our kids are twins just because they look nothing alike, Heck yeah I am sure, if you had two (or more ) babies growing in you and coming out of you at one time, you would also be pretty darn sure that you had had multiples!

I had an older man ask me the same thing if I can say no and I do not have twins just three. Children. Old men are funny. And the identicle thing look it up boy/girl can be identicle. Because their is the Xxy egg which many get that can split and just be a xx and an xy. It is very interesting how our eggs work. Enjoy your miracle as all children are.

It is the same for people with a large family. Many people have said to families I know with five or six children the conment that at least you have others. How does one personality or love replace another. I love ignorance. And our world is filled with it. And te boy girl thing. my daughter had barely any hair when little but she had pierced ears and wore dresses and pink yet people would say what a cute boy and I would just reply you are kidding what boy wears all pink and earrings. And their reply would be you never know these days people tattoo their children. The world we live in is definitely filled with ignorance

There is nothing like having multiples. Yes, you’re children are close in age, but it DOES NOT MAKE IT THE SAME. I love and cherish my identical twin boys. But those first 4 months were the hardest months of my life. Please, don’t tell me you and your one baby at a time, know how it feels. You don’t. I am a stronger better mother because of the obstacles we over came. I understand you are trying to sympathize with me, but it only makes it worse. They are my blessings and I couldn’t imagine it any other way. And the ivf question bothers me, because, when was the last time a stranger asked YOU about your sex life? Sorry, I read this post after taking the monsters to Walmart. We are a circus side show in that store. Every aisle I have to answer these same 15 questions. And I have to fight the old ladies that want to touch them. So sorry for this rant.

My fav question is : Are they idenitical? I have boy/girl twins!!!! They look nothing alike. People are so stupid sometimes. Someone asked me: Are they twins? I said: No they are 2 minutes apart. She looked and me and said: Oh they look like twins. REALLy?!?!?!

Yes, it is theoretically possible for a chromosomal abnormality to produce boy/girl ‘identical’ twins. And just how often does that happen? I believe there are 3 documented cases. Yep, just THREE. There are a few more unconfirmed reports. In comparison, there are over 500 known cases of conjoined twins.

So while it is not impossible, it’s still about as likely as having Octuplets. So it’s a stupid question, on par with asking if a random infant you’ve encountered is a full hermaphrodite.

I’m a mom of toddler b/g twins and I sort of enjoy the attention they get. Maybe because I’m new in a small community and it helps break the ice. And well, I’m still a new mom and I think my babies are awesome and want you to think so too. Since birth, they have stayed within 1 lb and 1 inch of each other, but I also know that as they get older, they won’t look as twinny, so I’m not worried about how this attention will affect their individuality.

I don’t think it’s okay to ask personal questions or anything (I will not ask you how you conceived your babies if you don’t ask me how I conceived mine) and it’s none of your business why I can’t breastfeed, But I’m okay with a little conversation.

And yes, my hands are full. I like it that way.