Kid Scoop
The 10 Moms You Meet in Elementary School
Oh, elementary school. If you’re a fan of people watching like I am, you know there are three fantastic places in which to do your social grazing: 1) Theme parks 2) Walmart 3) Elementary schools.
Already I’m feeling like a mean girl for writing this post but I’m actually a really nice person with a mild obsession of the human condition. Ever since I left my full-time job to be a work-at-home mama, I’ve resorted to getting my daily sociology fix from the afterschool pickup routine.
There are certain mom types one encounters at school. I’m sure each type is more lovely than the last, so don’t think I’m here to hate on the mommy masses; quite the contrary. I’m simply a reporter of observations.
Lemme have it; who did I miss?
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28 Comments
story commented on Jan 04 12 at 4:46 pmAh, you didn’t notice the quiet mom. No one ever notices the quiet mom.
mommyfriend commented on Jan 04 12 at 5:23 pmStory, I plum forgot about Quiet Mom! Most excellent call!
@MamaLawma commented on Jan 04 12 at 6:05 pmChief Executive Mother (“CEM”): This is the mom who opens the car door and her briefcase along with a child fall out. She blocks the loading zone for 5 extra minutes while putting on professional shoes and applying mascara. CEM is best friends with Late Mom. However, Volunteer Mom wants to be BFF’s with CEM and stalks her every single morning in the parking lot attempting to persuade her join numerous parent clubs etc. etc. Leave me…errr CEM…alone Volunteer Mom! CEM secretly desires to be The Pajama Mama.
mommyfriend commented on Jan 04 12 at 8:29 pmMamaLawma, this is why I love you. Me + You = BFF
Grandmom commented on Jan 05 12 at 8:44 amYou also forgot the newest member of the mom group…..The Grandmother Mom.
There are more and more of the grandmothers who are doing the Mom gig. She is always very early, tries to make sure nothing is forgotten, and usually is a crafty wizard!
Adrienne Mcallister commented on Jan 05 12 at 10:00 amOmg these additions have me hysterical! I am a pajama mom and maybe popular mom. I am definitely mom to a million kids and i get flustered away from school eye :) I wish I was super fit mom and fabulous mom though, pre kids that was me ;)
Mags commented on Jan 05 12 at 10:36 amDon’t forget the over-anxious, kindergarten mom! ( I know her, cause I am her!)
mommyfriend commented on Jan 05 12 at 11:16 amGrandmom, how on earth could I forget you! You are hands down the nicest mommy of the bunch and coincidentally, the only mommy who ever talks to me.
Emma Apple commented on Jan 05 12 at 11:29 amI, too, noticed you forgot the quiet Mom.
What about the special needs Mom, not to be mistaken for the ambush mom, she is the one waiting for the ambush mom to leave so she can communicate with the teacher about more important things than a spelling test.
Also, what about he Dad who drops off/picks up the kids? ;)
Hilary Stewart commented on Jan 05 12 at 12:19 pm“hoochie mama” lol, sorry can’t think of a better name, you know who I’m talking about tho! The “lady” who is 40+ but still trying to wear her 14 year old daughters clothes, and usually not enough of them (WAAAY too short shorts, etc). I live in SoCal tho, so maybe that’s just here?
Candice commented on Jan 05 12 at 1:40 pmI love this! I’d have to say I’m volunteer mom, but I know some of them all and a mix of some of them all! :)
@MamaLawma commented on Jan 05 12 at 3:52 pmHOOCHIE MAMA! hahahahahahahaha…we have those in Nor Cal too ;-)
@MamaLawma commented on Jan 05 12 at 5:26 pmThe Green Mom: Prius set to eco-mode, with Late Mom or CEM riding her bumper, she cruises into the parking lot ever so quietly at a snail’s pace. Her children’s veggie sandwiches, prepared from food grown in their sustainable garden, are packed carefully into their hemp backpacks. She smells of patchouli and needs her hair cut. GOOOO, punch that Prius, Lady, we’re late!
I like this game! Cheers to all of us Mom-types. We make me laugh! And, yes, Grandmom is by far the nicest and wisest of the bunch!
mommyfriend commented on Jan 05 12 at 5:33 pmYou ladies rock my bloggy socks! I think this post needs a facelift!
Kate commented on Jan 05 12 at 11:37 pmWhat about Young Mom? You know, the one who’s at least 10-15 years younger than all the other moms? Sometimes this mom might be Late Mom, Fabulous Mom, Hoochie Mom or a combination thereof!
Rhonda commented on Jan 06 12 at 12:02 amOh the hoochie mom! That’s my favorite one to watch. Priceless.
I am the last one I think, along with a little bit of lateness. Although I’m not sure why because I volunteer and I wear age appropriate clothing! But I can’t seem to make friends with the other mothers.
Monica commented on Jan 06 12 at 12:20 amI think popular mom and volunteer mom in some cases could be the same mom. At least that used to be me when I was the PTA president. Had to take a step back because it was too much. But I knew all of the teachers and staff and many of the parents. Sometimes I had parents I didn’t even know coming up to me to talk to me. It’s kind of nice being the quiet mom now though ;).
Kacee commented on Jan 06 12 at 1:14 amWhat about Hipster Mom?? She and Green Mom are friends, but she’s too cool for a Prius or Patchouli. Her kid only wears T-Shirts with retro brand logos on them and one star Chucks. She cusses a lot and lives, eats, and breaths Whole Foods. Hates anything popular or mainstream.
MommyMelendez commented on Jan 06 12 at 1:32 amYou missed tattooed, subculture mom.
April commented on Jan 06 12 at 7:00 amI am anxious mom. I have one child with special needs and another child with a life threatening peanut allergy. So I come across always as the mom with a harried look in her eyes and I appear to hover and always appear anxious. Because my kids are always on the precipice of death or totally freaking out on me.
I also have popular mom in me. I host a lot of parties and playdates so I know a lot of the moms and kids.
Lisa commented on Jan 06 12 at 8:38 amLove the Grand-mom addition! I am not my children’s grandmother, however I am certainly old enough to be! Our 10-year old was adopted when I was 38 and the 8-year-old when I was 40! The Walmart checker asked my then 4-year-old if she was having a nice day shopping with “grandma”. Indignantly, my sweet girl said, ” That is my MOM! NOT GRANDMA!” needless to say, we stopped at the drugstore on the way home to pick out something to cover my pre-mature grey!!
The Culture Mom commented on Jan 09 12 at 10:51 amHow about the stressed mom? That’s me! I’m the late mom, too.
Elan commented on Jan 09 12 at 12:04 pmoh the teacher ambusher….make an appointment! We want to talk to you, but give us a chance to breath at the end of the day and let us be prepared to talk to you!
Anon commented on Jan 11 12 at 9:16 amAt my kid’s school, there are lots of dads there. My favorite types of dads are Chip-off-the-old-block dad, whose son or sons look and dress exactly like him, and Scary-looking dad, whose tender holding of the hands of multiple children seems incongruous with his appearance. Yes, there are more than one of each of these dads!
Taylor commented on Feb 09 12 at 2:13 pmLMAO Im a mix of, special needs mom and Pajama mom. I spend too much time avoiding a melt down and cleaning up the tornado mess to even bother putting on regular clothes. my day to day wardrobe consists of exercise pants and a t-shirt. unless I have somewhere to go I am in my comfy clothes. LMAO I have been known to take my son to the buss stop in my pjs and robe LMAO. the only downside to this regular wardrobe is if you have been to lazy for too long in the exercise department you dont realize you have out grown your jeans untill you actually need to wear them to not look like you just rolled out of bed. I wanna be super Fabulofit mom. (fabulous mom/super fit mom)
Jackie Hennessey commented on Feb 14 12 at 9:53 pmSarah Jessica Parker, thank you for writing this article. You rock! I can so relate.
Maggie commented on Apr 24 12 at 3:31 amthe “young mom” Sadly, that would be me. On more than 1 occasion, I’m mistaken for a student. I get the whole “oh are these your sisters?” and sometimes, I get the mortifying “How old were you when you had her? 12??”
This makes it very difficult to be taken seriously!! I stopped trying PTA meetings, volunteering, or any of that fun stuff. Too many looks, especially at open house night, when they ask you to sign up for the PTA and other stuff.Please, be nice to the “young” mothers. I was in my early 20s, but even as I push 40, I look ridiculously young.
Ashley commented on May 23 12 at 11:42 pmMaggie, I totally feel for you! I’m a combination of the quiet trendy young mom. I had my oldest at 17 (1 month before I turned 18) so I totally know how you feel! I also quit trying to do the PTA thing because the others moms try to make you feel inferior to them, but little do they know, their kids are the ones that come & talk to us cause we make them feel more comfortable when they have issues with other kids like being bullied or trouble with a teacher. & I refuse not to be a trendy mom & my kids will wear stylish clothes & have anything else to not be an outcast because let’s face it..KIDS ARE MEAN! I personally think they learn it from the Snobby mom.
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