As a parent of two special needs children, (who are now adults) I definitely felt this when my kids were growing up. I hurt for them, and I was lonely too. Fortunately for me, one of my neighbor’s daughters (and my neighbor)(hi Kathy!, you know who you are!) was happy to have my daughters play with her daughter and the rest of the kids who were hanging out at her house. Her daughter was slightly younger than my youngest and when she went to school wanted to know why she wasn’t special enough to be in special ed–to her it was something to be desired! LOL After all those swings in the PT/OT room really looked like a lot of fun. It is critical for the regular ed kids to really get to know the ‘special ed’ (or whatever label you want to use these days) kids. They learn about compassion, love, and understanding beyond anything they’ll experience anywhere else. My dauighters are the ones who are working at the homeless shelter on holidays, shoveling the sidewalk for the elderly or disabled in our neighborhood, teaching theater to other special needs kids, taking part in walk-a-thons, runs etc. for a variety of causes. Yes, they’re just like everyone else–with small differences that someone with a big heart and a caring personality would accept. Please accept them too. Hire them for jobs they can do. Help them if you see they need it. And most of all, don’t let someone take advantage of them. My feeling about special needs kids and ‘regular kids’ are special needs kids have ‘problems’ that are visible now while my friends kids may end up with alcohol problems, drug problems, etc etc etc. the list goes on. No one’s life is free of difficulties, sometimes it’s just easier to see the difficulties my kids face at a young age. It doesn’t mean your child won’t face difficulties just as hard down the road–so pay it forward. You should never diss good karma.

I would let my kids hang with Special Needs kids anytime. My 21 year-old cousin has severe cerebral palsy, so my kids are familiar with her limitations. I wish it were easier to meet the Special Needs kids. When the most severe ones spend the majority of their day in a self-contained classroom there’s not much chance for the mainstreamed kids to interact. They don’t even have PE and Music with the mainstreamed kids at my son’s school. There are a few mainstreamed kids with physical, but not educational limitations in my son’s school, but none of them are in his grade level. I see the isolation that my aunt experiences, and I feel for all the moms at my son’s school that are experiencing the same things, I just don’t know how to meet them. I work full-time and my son walks to school, so there’s no bus stop or school pick-up stuff. My 8 year-old son is profoundly gifted, and at times I feel almost as isolated. Luckily there is another profoundly gifted child in my son’s Cub Scout Pack, and I have become friendly with his mom, but I also lost a close friend, when we started having problems with my son not being challenged in school and fighting to have him skip a grade(he is currently in 3rd grade and taking math class with the 4th grade). Her son is LD and ADHD and she thought I was making light of what she was going through. I wasn’t at all. Having a profoundly gifted child can be just as difficult as having a child with Special Needs, or even more so in a small rural district without any kind of gifted program. We don’t have IEPs or any legal right guaranteeing the most appropriate education for our children. I wish you luck, and humbly suggest introducing yourself and your son to the parents of gifted children at your school. Both extreme ends of the developmental bell curve frequently have trouble with socialization with their peer group, but are great with children older or younger than them.