I’m not sure who cares what Alex McCord of the Real Housewives of New York City thinks about the Real Housewives of New Jersey reunion show but apparently Bravo thinks it’s important and so, hey, I’ll report on it. McCord, the most boring of the New York crew, blogged that she needed “a mental shower” after viewing the reunion. Well, Alex, I’m still “mentally showering” after you promised during the RHONY reunion show we’d see your husband Simon in a speedo again. So I can relate. Here are some more of Alex’s thoughts on the show:

It’s Labor Day, and Simon and I spent a lovely weekend in Asbury Park, NJ with friends at the Paradise Tea Dance. How fitting that we’re watching the final, finale, finito last episode of New Jersey Season 2 in a gorgeous home on the shore with many, many housewives and husbands who are not on TV but no less real. (Note: Blah blah blah blah, we’re not here to read about your weekend.)

Jacqueline brought up “married men” out of absolutely nowhere. Did she feel suddenly that she wasn’t slinging enough mud and needed to jump in? Maybe it was editing, but I often feel that when Danielle is concerned, accusations just come out of nowhere. (Note: I left Jacqueline completely unnamed in my RHONJ reunion post because I don’t think it’s entirely fair to pick on someone who would have trouble following basic directions in a Gymboree class.)

Can anyone on this show just apologize without qualifiers? It seems like that’s impossible. Danielle apologized for replying to the tweet where someone wished Ashley would kill herself, and I was happy that was brought up on the show because I remember seeing that online and thinking that there’s no way that Danielle could have responded without seeing the whole tweet. I appreciate her apology but do not believe that she didn’t read it. I think Danielle probably responded in the moment, then felt badly about it afterward. Would have been nice if she had said that. (Note: That’s a long-winded way of Alex calling Danielle a homicidal liar.)

The hair-pulling visual aid was silly to me. Melodramatic and not necessary, though it looked like Andy had fun. (Note: I disagree. If someone goes through the trouble of stuffing a fake skull adorned with hair extensions into their purse, we should respect the ensuing demonstration.)

Kim G. arrived, and was so excited to be there she nearly jumped up and down like a puppy. She and Danielle had their words, and I literally could not believe that Teresa demanded an apology from Kim for tweeting mean comments about the Giudice’s financial problems while simultaneously refusing to apologize for calling Kim on the stripper pole disgusting. My opinion? Neither of those comments were OK, and both were guilty as hell. I need a mental shower. (Note: I just had an epiphany for a new reality show. Teresa Giudice and Kim G. locked in a windowless cell together and voters can call in Dancing with the Stars style with guesses on who drops more f-bombs during each one-hour show. Clearly their claws will need to be clipped prior to filming so no life-threatening injuries occur. Bravo?)

I couldn’t believe how crazy everyone had let themselves get over Danielle, and was thrilled to see all guns down. Good for Caroline for sticking to her feeling that she didn’t buy anything, and good for the rest for sticking to their own opinions. (Note: Read here the other “family members” defied the self-imposed Godfather of RHONJ Caroline Manzo. I suggest the dissenters wear protective knee pads when the cameras aren’t on.)

Alex’s uninspired take on the reunion makes me wish Danielle Staub would move over to the RHONY, resulting in Alex having to take an extended leave of absence due to chronic anxiety-induced hives.

Read her entire blog entry here.

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