Jessica Alba Prefers Sharks Over Kids (Updated)

…except, of course, for her own little cutie Honor Marie. Police are investigating a stunt where Jessica went around plastering shark posters all over Oklahoma City — including on a giant United Way billboard.

Pics of Jessica’s apparent mission to save the great white shark (although the confounding posters featured no text and looked suspiciously like my 4th grade Trapper Keeper) were posted on the internets, making OKC residents all kinds of annoyed.

Despite the confusing posters and the fact that, outside of an aquarium or two, OKC residents have nothing to do with sharks at all, the most confusing detail of Jessica’s crime spree by far was her choice to deface a billboard for a children’s charity.

Seems monumentally dumb, right? Maybe she was just on such an adrenaline high, she didn’t notice?

The billboard was apparently donated to the UW and the charity would have to shell out much dinero to replace it. Apparently, Alba’s press people are scrambling to make things right.

Maybe Alba should release a public statement, reassuring the public that she loves kids, she’s not a bad person, and that she’s not advocating that we feed underpriviledged kids to sharks.

– UPDATE –

Jessica has issued an apology to the residents of OKC, saying that she regrets doing whatever it was that she did do. I’m still not quite sure what it was that she was doing (but I’m pretty sure Scientology is behind it) — it all sounds a bit sketchy.

“I got involved in something I should have had no part of. I realize that I should have used better judgment and I regret not thinking things through before I made a spontaneous and ill-advised decision to let myself get involved with the people behind this campaign. I sincerely apologize to the citizens of Oklahoma City and to the United Way for my involvement in this incident.”

Source/Photo

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Tags: cash warren, crime spree, great white shark, honor marie, Jessica Alba criminal, jessica alba photos, jessica alba pics, Oklahoma City, shark week, sharks