The Underachiever’s Halloween Costume

OK, kids, here’s how this works: You show up at my door on Oct. 31 with this temporary tattoo on your forehead, and you also happen to be young enough to be completely self-unaware, you win — anything in the candy basket is yours for the taking. Otherwise — and I’m talking to you brats with the open pillowcases and that eye-rolling look that says, “Whatever, mister; I’m just here for the candy,” well… I’ll take the trick, thanks.

$3 from Buttonhead’s Etsy shop.