Dadding
He Said/She Said
Him and Her.
She said: I married a wild and crazy dude in a rock’n'roll band. At least I thought I did. As it turns out, only the dude in a rock’n'roll band part is accurate. Wild and crazy? Not so much. I tend to be the wilder and the crazier one of this marriage. And when I say crazy, I mean it, as in, not fun crazy. Certifiably crazy. Chase you down the driveway with a shovel crazy.
Yeah.
For the longest time, the first five years of our marriage to be exact, the inherent differences in our personalities weren’t so much of a problem. I mean, sure we argued when we went to Venice, Italy for the first time and the rock’n'roller wanted to have every little move planned out while I wanted to fly by the seat of our pants but, for the most part, these particular differences weren’t so very obvious. And then, three years ago, we had our first child, our daughter Violet…
He said: To be honest, one of the very first things I noticed about my wife, Monica, was that she wasn’t bashful about the fact that she seemed to really enjoy her Jagermeister shots. Not that that was the first quality that I was looking for in my particular Love Quest, because it wasn’t.
It was like the second or third.
But still, there was something savagely attractive about a wild west Utah woman, a Mormon pioneer’s direct descendent, sucking down bolts of lightning syrup with the zest of a 1000-year old Viking who simply forgot to die.
And yet, soon after, when I really started to get to know her: I discovered someone way more practical, someone way more mature than me. She was a successful TV producer at 27; she had her own condo, her own SUV, and her commitment to her career and her future and saving money and all of those different “grown-up” things was so attractive.
This girl, this woman was made of way stronger stuff than me. She was, I daresay, responsible. Well, I mean, I thought she was…
You can also find Monica on her personal blog, The Girl Who while Serge can be found on Thunder Pie.
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96 Comments
Lecia rand commented on Feb 08 12 at 9:20 amLove it! You two always provide the right spark of reality and humor to make the mind numbing task of parenting and the “gifts” of “growth opportunities” within more relatable and tolerable. Bless you two for brightening and helping me to define and put into a healthier context my “responsible working woman parenting with a former rock and roller who now runs another business world” wherein I am both the certifiably crazy and responsible one and hub is the laid back “let her dance in the backyard naked and pee on the grass” best yet “makes me koo koo” father in the world guy. You guys can do only magnificence in my eyes.
Nicki commented on Feb 08 12 at 9:23 amI felt like I was listening to a conversation between my husband and I while watching this video! You guys are hilarious!!!
Lo commented on Feb 08 12 at 9:29 amYou guys are hilarious. Great video!
admin commented on Feb 08 12 at 9:43 amI sent this to all the married folk in my family. So funny. So true. I hope to see more of these videos! ~Dara
Nelson's Mama commented on Feb 08 12 at 9:53 amVery funny! Serge needs a Xanax…just sayin’
admin commented on Feb 08 12 at 9:53 amI’m so glad you guys are part of Babble. This rocks. -Andrea
janet commented on Feb 08 12 at 10:03 amso what channel is this show on?
fantastic!
Connie commented on Feb 08 12 at 10:04 amGood Lord, I love you guys. This was fantastic. Can’t wait for more of these.
Redneck Mommy commented on Feb 08 12 at 10:12 amDying. Laughing.
Splinters. The Silent Killer of America’s Children.
Sarah commented on Feb 08 12 at 10:19 amThat was great and the editing was hilarious! Keep it up guys. Cant wait for the next one!
Sue commented on Feb 08 12 at 10:31 amI want to know what dangers are lurking in the front of your house?
I tend to be a little more like Serge (hopefully not quite as intense), I worry A LOT, my husband not as much.
kacy commented on Feb 08 12 at 10:35 amha ha….i love it!!! You two are hilarious. It will be so funny to see how it goes when Violet starts dating (just kidding Serge!)
Crystal commented on Feb 08 12 at 10:40 amYou guys absolutely HAVE to continue this!! I can totally relate! And, its nice to laugh at someone else facing the same challenges!! Love it LOVE IT LOVE IT!!!
MrsK commented on Feb 08 12 at 10:44 amPlease tell me this will be a weekly occurrence here! This was awesome!! HILARIOUS!
Erika commented on Feb 08 12 at 10:48 amPoor Serge. He must lose a lot of sleep worrying about how splinters are going to kill his babies. :)
I tend to worry about pedophiles. My husband thinks I’m nuts but in my book every new person we meet could be a pedophile. I have to get to know them before they are cleared as suspects.
Mandy commented on Feb 08 12 at 11:07 amLove it!
The only thing I would worry about is how over reacting to small incidents, or acting as though there is always something to worry about, will affect the kids long term. You want them to be confidant, in themselves, in their abilities. They need to fall down and get back up, brush themselves off, to learn that they can. Because they’re going to fall, they’re going to get hurt, physically/emotionally, and they need the conficance to deal with that as they age. (Although I understand no one wants to see their child hurt in any way)
LauraIrina commented on Feb 08 12 at 11:10 amI laughed and laughed and made my husband watch it and he wasn’t one bit amused, he was like “The guy is right, HE’S TOTALLY RIGHT, SEE, I KEEP TELLING YOU ALL THESE THINGS AND YOU’VE ALWAYS CALLED ME CRAZY! Well hello, HE AGREES WITH ME!”
Kathryn commented on Feb 08 12 at 11:17 amMy father’s reaction, to THIS DAY, to me getting hurt is some sort of weird anger manifestation. He scowls, veins pop out of his face, his eye twitches, and he talks in very short sentences, until finally he yells. It took me well over nine years to figure out that he really wasn’t pissed at me for falling off my bike, falling off the counter, falling off my feet, etc. He was mad at HIMSELF for not protecting me from…well…myself.
In about two months, I’m going to squeeze a human out of my neither regions. I’m afriad he’ll pace the hallways, imagining the horrors I’m going through, thinking those evil doctors are abusing me, and that me and my dumb self are doing things like toppling the bed over on top of me, etc…And since it’ll not only be his daughter in there, but also his granddaughter, I fear for the doctors, nurses, and innocent bystanders. He may punch one or start banging his own head against the floor
another monica commented on Feb 08 12 at 11:18 amhahahaha! loved it! team serge on this one, though, i will probably have my kids bubble wrapped until they turn 18 :-D keep the videos coming!!!
LolaK commented on Feb 08 12 at 11:21 amHilarious!! My husband insists that everything our 4 year old daughter does will cause her to “break her neck.” I seriously hear that phrase several times a day. She’ll lean over the couch to grab her juice off the table and it’s “OMG she’s gonna break her neck!!” Men are nuts!
p.s. so fun seeing you guys “live”!!
Jen commented on Feb 08 12 at 11:24 amThis is fantastic! So, so refreshing to hear real people talking about how hard it is to parent and be married and all that. Seriously, this is the best thing I have heard/read about parenting and marriage ever.
Petit Elefant commented on Feb 08 12 at 11:54 amHI-larious!
Ann commented on Feb 08 12 at 12:01 pmAwesome. Please do more! I tend to be more like Monica and my husband is more like Serge. Drives me nuts!
Kristen commented on Feb 08 12 at 12:03 pmLove this! I hope this becomes a weekly thing.
Brandi commented on Feb 08 12 at 12:21 pmPlease do this every week! I love it.
& Serge if you’re children can survive coming into the world via a vagina, a splinter isn’t going to be the end of them. lol
Emily Chubb commented on Feb 08 12 at 12:27 pmYou guys are great, reminds me SO much of my boyfriend & I. Jay is very much like Serg… He thinks our 9 month old should live in a bubble basically. I just wish he would have a glass of wine with me sometimes and relax already! This video is great, Like when you read an awesome book & then go see the movie it kinda brings life (“life is not the correct word,?? both of your writing have very much life!) to those exceptionally well writers.. Looking forward to more of both!!
Best wishes on trying to get settled into the new place. I know it can’t be easy. Ps. Jager really does rock, Love it!! ~ Emily
niobe19 commented on Feb 08 12 at 12:34 pmHope He Said/She Said takes off in a big way! I really enjoyed this webisode (is this a word?) Anyway, I think it is of to border on being overprotective NOW when the kids are young, but dude, if you helicopter over them when they are a little older I think the message you will convey to them is that ya don’t trust them. Ya kinda need to give them a little confidence in their own abilities or else you will regret it later, in my humble opinion. Look forward to more. Thanks!!
Leah commented on Feb 08 12 at 12:43 pmLOVE-IT! You guys have hit the jackpot with this post! Please keep it going! Blogger GOLD!
Candice commented on Feb 08 12 at 12:50 pmLOVE it. My husband and I are both more in the middle, but I’m more helicopter, for sure… but I can’t wait to see what other stuff you guys post about. I definitely think that we need to talk about the married part of being married parents!
kds commented on Feb 08 12 at 12:52 pmoh dear god was that funny!!!! loved it!
Erin commented on Feb 08 12 at 12:56 pmYou both just made my shitsnack of a day better. LOVED THIS!
Tina commented on Feb 08 12 at 1:04 pmYou two are a hot couple! Cute video.
melissa commented on Feb 08 12 at 1:28 pmLove this! More, more, more, please!!
Jimmy commented on Feb 08 12 at 2:06 pmBrilliant. More please.
Pam commented on Feb 08 12 at 2:09 pmSeriously? I can’t breathe. This is too funny.
BEllen commented on Feb 08 12 at 2:11 pmGreat video! And Monica, I’d love to know how Serge was when you were pregnant (especially the first time around). I swear, my husband would have preferred I’d stayed in a padded, windowless room for the entire gestation of our first daughter. He was especially paranoid about my going out alone… car accidents, kids on skateboards, runaway grocery carts, lightning strikes, the elevator getting stuck at work! He finally asked me to just stop telling him about my day. Ridiculous, but it kept the peace.
Amber commented on Feb 08 12 at 2:21 pmBEES AND SPLINTERS OMG. Love that Serge is basically scared to death. Also, Monica, is it weird that I’m jealous of your lisp?
GreenInOC commented on Feb 08 12 at 2:25 pmFANTASTIC! “Babbling on Babble” – duh, it’s perfect!!
Is this in your new house? Also Monica, your hair is adorable!
Jacqueline commented on Feb 08 12 at 2:37 pmHar har! It’s true, however. The front of the house is where you run out and get hit by a car! The front of the house is where lurkers can peer inside! And once I had to pull out a whole handful of splinters from when she grabbed onto an unsanded swingset. There was one I couldn’t get out and a MONTH later it had worked its way through the finger and grown out of the fingernail. Front of the house? Splinters? I’m with SERGE!
kimtisha commented on Feb 08 12 at 2:44 pmThis is great, can’t wait to see more! I can’t even believe I’m hanging out on Babble – I’m long past the parenting stage – I’m a grandmom for crying out loud. But you two are so likeable and such good writers I’d follow you wherever you go. Keep up the good work, this is really funny (and fun!) stuff.
Trina commented on Feb 08 12 at 3:01 pmERIKA~ LOL!! I am the EXACT same way. My husband thinks I am crazy but every person I meet is a potential perv and I need to clear them before they can have contact with my kids!! I am glad I am not alone. My hubby is convinced I am the only parent out there that is that freaked out about pedophiles lurking around every corner…
Loved this clip. I am a bit more Serge….I often say, “this cannot be normal..” while my hubby is in the background saying, “of course it is, they’re kids!!” LOL Great work!
Steph commented on Feb 08 12 at 3:04 pmAwsome! Funny because it’s all very, very true, isn’t it? Hope to see more!
Erica commented on Feb 08 12 at 3:09 pmAWESOME!!! We have a lot of discussions at our house about what is ‘normal’ toddler/preschooler behavior, and the term ‘sociopath’ has been used on more than few occasions. So, YES, you guys have definitely struck a chord with he said/she said!
Jess commented on Feb 08 12 at 3:35 pmOh my gosh. THIS is PERFECTION. LOVED it!
Bec commented on Feb 08 12 at 3:45 pmThis is AWESOME. More please!
Sam commented on Feb 08 12 at 3:48 pmhilarious.
Jennifer commented on Feb 08 12 at 4:00 pmTotal backyard family here too Serge…..this world’s a big bad playground with a brokedown swingset and a sea of splinters to cushion the falls from the rusty monkeybars ..these kids were given both of you for very different reasons..its a beautiful thing :)
anajo commented on Feb 08 12 at 4:27 pmoh gosh, guys, you’re so so funny, I feel much much better right now, it looks like you’re talking about me and my hubby :) god, Monica, I tell you, we live with the same man:) swear god we do [sorry Serge] :) great video, you both are lovely.
Jennifer commented on Feb 08 12 at 4:48 pmThis was awesome! Hope to see more of them in the future.
erose commented on Feb 08 12 at 4:48 pmLOVE this! Freaking hilarious. And so similar to me and my husband (I hover, and he thinks an 8 month old can fend for herself). Can’t wait to see more!
Teresa commented on Feb 08 12 at 5:09 pmGod I wish my husband had a sense of humor. He would never do anything like this. He doesn’t even like for me to put pictures of him on facebook. =/
Andrea commented on Feb 08 12 at 5:13 pmOh please keep this going, I tend to worry a lot about certain things you know pedophiles, kidnapping etc. Falling down, scraped knees fighting oh hell fighting our kids share the same age difference just wait Henry will become the one who beats up Violet soon enough. I don’t bother other than to say you don’t like to be hit why would you hit your sister and end scene.
Natalie commented on Feb 08 12 at 5:40 pmYou guys have GOT to do more of these.
Sara commented on Feb 08 12 at 5:52 pmLoved this! Please keep it going! :)
My husband was just like Serge until our kids started going to preschool and the teachers wouldn’t allow us to “baby” the kids while they were there! I commented about this on your Trophy Kids post, but I’ve got to say it again. Have Serge read this book: The Blessing of a Skinned Knee by Wendy Mogel. It’s written from a Jewish perspective, but it’s awesome no matter what religion you practice (or not!).
Julie commented on Feb 08 12 at 6:04 pmI don’t even have kids and I think this is awesome. You guys are hilarious.
Jessie commented on Feb 08 12 at 6:06 pmThat was great! My husband and I have three girls – a singleton and twins – once the twins were born, and we had three kids under three we had no time to worry about anything besides feeding them and trying to sleep. As long as they aren’t killing eachother we’re fine!
Keep this up, please!!
cassandra commented on Feb 08 12 at 6:11 pmThis definitely needs to be a weekly series.
I have a 16 year old now and I still reach for his hand when we’re crossing the street. He lets me, only for my own comfort. Good kid.
kate commented on Feb 08 12 at 6:15 pmTotally delightful, love the idea, love the editing, love love love.
PS. I’m totally Team Monika on this one. Kids gotta learn, sometimes the hard way.
Heather commented on Feb 08 12 at 6:42 pmOMG….you guys are us 10 years ago! Our daughter is now nearly 15 (!) and son has just turned 12. She’s a diva and he’s a daredevil. She would bump her foot and scream bloody murder so many times during the day I stopped hearing it. Husband started working out of the house and would go running and want to take her to the ER. I’m like, for what? she bumped her foot. He is always saying I’m not responsive enough. Luckily she grew out of her diva ways and is now a goalie for the jv soccer team at her high school. Right now she got kicked in the ankle and her ankle/foot is swollen. She asked for an ankle brace and some ice. Dad would want her x-rayed to make sure she’s ok. She’s ok…she got kicked in the foot and it hurt. She’ll be fine. No need to up our insurance rates for it!
AnneMarie commented on Feb 08 12 at 7:02 pmIf the two of you do not make videos at least once a week, consider yourselves responsible for my unhappiness.
(London) Amanda commented on Feb 08 12 at 7:39 pmSerge, I’m with Monica. It is normal. You think headlock is bad? When I was two or three, my brother, two years older, told me to eat the berries on the bush in the garden. Those very berries that our parents had told him never to touch or eat. So he told me to eat them. Those DEADLY NIGHTSHADE berries. He was my big brother, so I did. And then he only went running in telling my parents I was naughty cos I was eating the bad berries. I was made to drink salt water till I vomited violently. About five times.
When I was four he told me to jump down one stair, then two, three, four. Then from the top of the stairs. You’ve guessed – I did. Went through a plate glass door at the bottom, missed severing an artery in my wrist by millimetres, rushed to hospital, stitched up – still got the scar.
Aged six, we’re on holiday in France, he gets me to touch the electrified cattle fence. He understood the ‘Danger, Do Not Touch’ sign in French – damn him, he started learning French in school aged six.
So, sorry Serge, be grateful it’s only headlocks for now. Share the nachos with Monica. Worse could still be to come.
Bees though, I’m with you there. Those little suckers really hurt, got stung when I was about ten. And no, surprisingly enough, big brother didn’t tell me to stick my hand in a beehive. I’d finally wised up to him by then. Took me long enough.
Naomi commented on Feb 08 12 at 7:53 pmlove it! In my marriage, I’m Serge, and my husband is Monica… I know I gotta tone it down, though… Can’t wait to see the future installments!
Elizabeth commented on Feb 08 12 at 7:56 pmBees or splinters … love it! This is wonderful.
Janice (5 Minutes for Mom) commented on Feb 08 12 at 8:14 pmAWESOME!!!
Sweetney commented on Feb 08 12 at 8:57 pmYou guys are fantastic. Woot!
JB commented on Feb 08 12 at 8:59 pmMonica, your hair is fabulous. Stop worrying about it!
Oh, and the video — and column idea — is fabulous, too.
Liz commented on Feb 08 12 at 9:55 pmHaha love it!
Jill commented on Feb 08 12 at 10:07 pmI love this. I hope there’s more videos and written articles. Violet and Henry are lucky to have parents who love them, even if there are disagreements about raising them. Because it’s clear that you both love them.
Jaz commented on Feb 08 12 at 10:48 pmEffing brilliant!
Maggie May commented on Feb 08 12 at 11:38 pmThis is awesome, THIS is the kind of reality TV I am looking for!!!!
More please!
Meghan commented on Feb 08 12 at 11:39 pmLol, lol, lol.
Melissa Scoffield commented on Feb 09 12 at 12:08 amSitting in Freida’s basement and laughing my ass off. Good grief I miss you and hope you are recovering from the bastard fire. I will go to bed with a chuckle.
Belinda commented on Feb 09 12 at 3:41 amLOVED it. Can’t wait for the next one :)
Juli commented on Feb 09 12 at 8:11 amI totally just peed a little. LMAO
Jenina commented on Feb 09 12 at 8:33 amLove this! I can’t wait for the next one.
TRodgers commented on Feb 09 12 at 9:18 amYou guys are awesome!! Tell Babble, Hell yeah you should have your own column for this kind of stuff.
melanie commented on Feb 09 12 at 10:31 amoh my god. love, love, LOVE. have followed both of you for so long now from personal blogs to babble ventures to now this!? amazing. (also, monica, the haircut is beyond awesome).
Melody Pettinelli commented on Feb 09 12 at 10:45 amI have a son like that and I am terrified to babysit.
LK commented on Feb 09 12 at 11:17 amSo awesome! Great idea. And Monica is right on this one, btw. Sorry Serge. Splinters, bee stings, and siblings beating each other up are all very sacred parts of childhood – why would you want to deprive them of that? And Monica, you’re hair cut looks great.
Ali commented on Feb 09 12 at 11:50 amThank goodness kids figure out which parent is more intense and which one is more relaxed as they grow up…they may make it easier on Serge when they are older by saving their danger shennanigans for Monica supervised time….at least that was what my brother and I did when we were kids.
Fun stuff!
Annika commented on Feb 09 12 at 11:53 amThis is probably my favorite thing I have ever seen on Babble. Once my husband and I have kids, I think we’ll be just like you–husband worrying about splinters, me being a bit more chill. That may have something to do with the fact that he is an only child and I am the eldest of four…
Mary commented on Feb 09 12 at 5:35 pmMost hysterical thing ever.
The Abominable Snowmonster aka Bumble commented on Feb 10 12 at 1:31 amoh my god…my stomach hurts from laughing! Serge!! Your comedic timing is unreal! Splinters…little pieces of wood. Monica, your blog is laugh out loud funny on the regular, but this was probably the funniest thing I’ve ever seen you post. More please!! I agree falling down and scraping your knee and learning the lessons of childhood are important but I tend to try and “catch them” whenever I can because I know they’re will be plenty of times I’ll miss.
A commented on Feb 10 12 at 5:43 amI don’t have kids and I loved this. You guys are funny and brilliant.
Please do more of these!
Kat commented on Feb 10 12 at 12:59 pmFor what it’s worth, I actually did get swept down a river when I was younger and I’m totally okay now!
Hanni commented on Feb 10 12 at 5:08 pmI hope you guys get your own column…great stuff!
NicoleR commented on Feb 10 12 at 6:52 pmWhy did I wait two days to watch this?? SO funny! I hope this becomes a regular feature on Babble. Real marriage, real parenting squabbles shown in the funniest light. Perfect. (also, love the short hair, Monica!)
Kerri. commented on Feb 11 12 at 12:16 amThis. Is. AWESOME!!!! I’d love to see this as regular feature here!!!
Stacey commented on Feb 11 12 at 4:36 amAwesome. I love this idea! Looking forward to more!
Laura commented on Feb 11 12 at 9:26 pmThat was hilarious. I totally agree with Monica but can’t help acting like Serge! It’s hard to watch your kids get hurt emotionally or physically even if I know its for their own growth. I wonder how you guys are about their destructive activities? My husband follows the kids (1 and 4) around our (rented) apartment all day, not because they might hurt themselves or each other, but because they might scratch the floor or find some hidden pen and write all over the walls or something.
JenC commented on Feb 13 12 at 10:45 amI just want to see “The Real Housewives of Green Bay” because that sounds awesome.
Kristen Jones commented on Feb 13 12 at 1:19 pmGreat Video. Love how your personalities are so different. Babble….make this happen permanatly.
Maiken commented on Feb 14 12 at 3:49 amHands down the best part of Babble!
Let it not be forgotten that when Violet was inches from roaring flames, Monica fought and saved that precious life. She may not be a helicopter parent, but she’d do as much as you, Serge, to save the lives of your kids. :)
You two give me hope for a relationship of my own.
Penny commented on Mar 15 12 at 11:44 amHoly crap, you two are hilarious. I thought this column would be gimmicky and kind of lame, but you are cracking my shit up over here. The videos–hysterical.
Mary commented on Mar 17 12 at 8:05 amToo f*&king funny! You guys definitely need to continue on with He Said/She Said. It will be an instant hit!
Personally, I seem to fall somewhere between indifferent and helicopter but there was that one time that the hubby was taking care of our 10 month old while I worked on the computer upstairs. I came down once I was done and found him quite intently trying to score a goal in NHL on the XBox while dear daughter was chowing down just as intently on some bounce dryer sheets! I think I went a little crazy that day…
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Cody 
Whit Honea 
Serge Bielanko 
Mike Adamick 
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